Quote:
Originally Posted by Commonlands
At this point, I became convinced that I was no longer having a dream so much as a real experience of ego separation. I was completely lost in a void. I felt like I was gigantic and tiny at the same time, an uncomfortable yet strangely familiar sort of feeling, and I didn't know where to go to get back to my life because there was nowhere to go. All of life was merely a figment of my own mind. There was only this awareness that I call me, and I was utterly alone. There was no God to call to because I was the only thing in existence. There was no mom, no dad, no family, no friends, because they were all just my imaginations. Might as well run to my own little toe for help! In every direction of infinity, forever in the past and in the future, with no time really existing at all, there was only me. Words can never describe this feeling - it was beyond loneliness and beyond horror, to know that I am utterly alone, that everything I thought I knew was just a dream concocted by my own mind to escape from the terrible emptyness of the void.
|
Fist off, that ^ is the most powerful statement I have read all month because it's true in every way one looks at it; at least in my opinion. I have felt the way you feel before and I understand your logic.
Your mind/state of mind could be maturing, you had all the elements staring you in your subconscience's face, it just took a surreal dream for you to show yourself. As the great Syd Barret said in "Breathe" I believe, "All you touch and all you see, is all your life will ever be". So in a sense everyone is completly alone, but I like to view this nothiness as more of a sanctuary, and I can remember viewing my thoughts as retreating back to this private sanctuary since as far back as... you know 3-4 years of age.
I believe their is a fine line behind "the norm" or "sane" which is basically the median of everyones insane selves. Sane is what you make it, just as anything else is because this is your reality, you may shape it to anything you please if you have the right mindset. Look at Hitler.
What I'm trying to say in a nutshell is, take life for what it is and the way your mind senses the environment around you.