Tai-pan

To prepare, I have done the following:


*UPDATED*
Saturday

• 8:45 am: I shaved all my body hair down to less than a 16th of an inch. I left enough there so it looks like I shaved this weeks ago...well before I heard about the test.

• 10:30 am: I started the Ida method..and it hurts like hell! First I warmed some Apple Cider Vinegar to just below scalding and drenched all my hair (~1 inch long) with this. I let this sit for five minutes and then I put in my pre-mixed Ida Solution. (I did 1 cup of Head and Shoulders Sensitive Care with Aloe (has Aloe Barbadensis leaf extract in the ingredients), 1 tablespoon of Clorox Bleach, 1 tablespoon of hydrogen peroxide). Because I know I would have my hands working in the bleach and didn't want any more chemical burns than I needed to, I used vinyl disposable gloves on my hands. I set my cell phone for multiple alarms eight minutes apart (leaving me time to put in the solution, let it set, then rinse time). I took a handful of the Ida solution and worked it into my hair for at least 3 minutes each time. I let it set for a minute, and then worked it again until the alarm went off. I rinsed then reapplied the solution. At the third solution application, I started to feel a tingling burning. At the fourth I was definitely feeling a burning, especially where the shampoo mixture had trickled onto the back of my neck. In fact, right before the final alarm, I was gnashing my teeth. This hurt like hell! But a douse of water from the shower head really helped that. I worked the water through my hair for a good 10-15 minutes, making sure I had removed all the solution. My test isn't until Monday so I can't use my Dr. Greens shampoo yet.

• 1:00 pm I sent the girlfriend out to the store to pick up some "Just For Men" hair coloring before she heads to work, a shade lighter than my hair color for two reasons. 1) My stylist will not be able to color my hair since she is ill and I don't trust the other places in town (bad experiences) 2) I miss judged the money in my bank account and wouldn't have enough for a cut and a coloring. So, Sunday I plan on applying this after my last Ida/Mac session, and then have my hair cut in the late afternoon to just under 1/2 inch. Then I will use my 'Dr. Greens"

• 9:00pm I did another Ida Method shampoo. It hurt right away this time and by the end I really was hurting. I think don't dare pull back on the Bleach because I think that is what my be the key ingredient in this. My scalp hasn't ever felt this clean and I know I don't have any dandruff anymore hehehe.

• 10:00 pm My girlfriend gets back from work and pounces on me. Seems the idea of a 'porn star shave' (as she calls it) drove her quite nuts while she was at work and the idea worked up something awful. When she hit the door, I was walking towards the kitchen and I wasn't able to get the entire sentence "Hello, love" out before she had me in a pretty savage lip lock. I think it sounded something like "Hell..murffelll.... Mhhhmmmm". Needless to say, pass this test or not, I'm going to be a happy man for the next few weeks.

• 4:00 am Well, I didn't get any sleep last night and she just drifted off so I thought I would post quick before I sacked out. I'm going to do another Ida solution tomorrow morning, try an Ida solution around noon along with a MAC method. In the afternoon, I will do one final Ida solution and then have my hair colored.

Sunday

• 10:00 AM I first heated up some Apple Cider Vinegar and worked it into my hair. I used a shower cap and then put two HOT towels (right from the dryer) on my head to cover the shower cap. I saw another person posted this worked for them, so heating the hair couldn't hurt any. After 10 minutes, I put in my first round of Ida Solution and let that soak for 5 minutes. I washed this out with hot water and then soaked the hair in Ida Solution three more times. At the end, I washed out my hair, used straight Suave with Aloe shampoo and finally I put in some regular Tide liquid to strip the hair from any chemicals.

• 5:00 PM I repeated the same steps taken at 10am.

• 9:00PM Again, I repeat the Ida method and follow up with a single step of the Mac method. After rinsing my hair out VERY well, I have my hair bleached, then colored with some "Just For Men". My shockingly bleached blond hair finally returned to (surprisingly) near my natural hair color.

Monday

• 7:00 AM I washed this morning with Head and Shoulders w/Aloe then with Suave with Aloe then with TeaTree Conditioner (has aloe and menthol).

• 12:00 PM I washed my hair with Head and Shoulders w/Aloe then with Suave with Aloe and then Dr. Greens Cleaning Shampoo.

• 1:00 PM SOB's took my hair...and more than I thought they needed too She wasn't nice about it and seemed bored when she took the sample. The company taking the test first said my hair was a bit too short and called the company hiring me. The HR assistant thought they may need to have me wait until my hair grows out to 1.5 inches or more before I could get the job since they required a 90 day history, but the her boss told the testing company to just take the damn hair sample. They were suspicious that I didn't have any body hair they could cut but I told them the reason was because I go to the lake often and didn't like having the appearance of a Wookie. That got a chuckle and they didn't question me about it again.

If I fail this hair test, it isn't from a lack of trying!


Cross your fingers and pray for a piss test since I KNOW I can beat that without anything (4 almost 5 weeks ago was my last joint and 3-4 weeks before that was the previous joint)