Last night, I made a tea with approximately 4 tablespoons of ground dried shrooms. (I'm not sure how much that is in grams, but I've heard that 1 teaspoon is roughly a gram, which would make my dose approx. 12 grams.) I then drank this tea, and what was to follow was literally mind blowing.
I felt my mind, and reality with it, fall apart utterly. I began to wonder if I had died. I wondered if the entire world was gone, and what I would come back to when I returned to normal, if there was any normal to return to. I understood that reality is just an agreement you have with yourself (yourself, as a concept, being part of the agreement), and, more than that, I realized the full ramifications of that fact. I saw that everything is so completely arbitrary, and all it takes is one simple choice to change everything.
I experienced what can only be described as losing my mind. I entered a place where death and life, tragedy and glory, all seemed insignificant. It was an ecstasy beyond description. I cried, I laughed, everything seemed so obvious.
I suppose, I acheived what I set out to find with the mushroom. I had a true Samadhi experience. I saw clearly what spiritual books call "emptiness" and how it is "empty with such fullness".
I'm thinking I may lay off the plant teachers for awhile. I felt, in the midst of my trip, that I really didn't need them anymore, having found what I did.
I just don't know what else to say. I wish I could find the words to put this experience in your minds, in some way for it to be clear, but it's like trying to describe something in terms of experience, and this felt like something beyond experience.
The Rev