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**~~stateofkane~~** · 12-25-2008, 06:48 PM

My last smoke was on Monday night somewhere around 7:30 pm (this time). Over the last 72 hours I have felt depression, irritability, anxiety, just overall miserable. I've been smoking a lot lately, and this IS the fuckin withdrawal.

My friend was going to get me high on Tuesday night. When he didn't call back by the time I was going to turn in for the night I thought, "I don't even want to get high. I quit."

I've been wanting to quit not long after I started. Longest stretch was 8 1/2 months and I was starting to become a normal person who was interested in working and doing healthy stuff.

I think people are more successful if it is a spontaneous decision. I'm through with this shit. It isn't even fun anymore. It used to be like a drug when the dealer said, "yup, stop over." My heart would race, goosebumps, all that good stuff. And that feeling hasn't existed for a long time.

If I ever get my shit together and have my own house, maybe I'll start up again, and grow it, but I will still be someone who doesn't respond to weed in a healthy way. Why would I want to throw it all away? It would be the first time I achieved a lot since, well, before I started smoking pot.

I want my old life back where things were easy. I wanted to achieve and strive for perfection. Now I just live to survive, with no fucking purpose.

Thanks for listening to my ramble. BTW, it's all the same too. No more alcohol for me either, but that one is too easy.

I guess now I can look forward to going back to school. Get my degree. Get a job. I might take up a new hobby... RC planes, collecting stamps, jerking off in different positions... the possibilities are endless.

12-25-2008, 06:48 PM	#1 (permalink)
~~stateofkane~~ Banned Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 560 Thanks: 20 Thanked 92 Times in 82 Posts	Day 3 My last smoke was on Monday night somewhere around 7:30 pm (this time). Over the last 72 hours I have felt depression, irritability, anxiety, just overall miserable. I've been smoking a lot lately, and this IS the fuckin withdrawal. My friend was going to get me high on Tuesday night. When he didn't call back by the time I was going to turn in for the night I thought, "I don't even want to get high. I quit." I've been wanting to quit not long after I started. Longest stretch was 8 1/2 months and I was starting to become a normal person who was interested in working and doing healthy stuff. I think people are more successful if it is a spontaneous decision. I'm through with this shit. It isn't even fun anymore. It used to be like a drug when the dealer said, "yup, stop over." My heart would race, goosebumps, all that good stuff. And that feeling hasn't existed for a long time. If I ever get my shit together and have my own house, maybe I'll start up again, and grow it, but I will still be someone who doesn't respond to weed in a healthy way. Why would I want to throw it all away? It would be the first time I achieved a lot since, well, before I started smoking pot. I want my old life back where things were easy. I wanted to achieve and strive for perfection. Now I just live to survive, with no fucking purpose. Thanks for listening to my ramble. BTW, it's all the same too. No more alcohol for me either, but that one is too easy. I guess now I can look forward to going back to school. Get my degree. Get a job. I might take up a new hobby... RC planes, collecting stamps, jerking off in different positions... the possibilities are endless.