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brainwashed
You know, I think some people I work with have been totally brainwashed. When I'm patrolling the streets of Baghdad, I look around and I see people. Women, children, and average people who were unfortunatley born in this shithole. When I see the kids I see them as kids, just like the ones in America.
I'm always being criticized by my peers. They see everyone here as the enemy. "fuck the kids"... They look at them as subhuman creatures. I can't do it. They are just people to me. Everyone suspects that i'd hesitate on the trigger. A lot of these guys have some sort of blood lust... i don't get it. I don't have the desire to kill, But I have an amazing desire to stay alive. I'll do what I have to to retain my morals and survive. Sometimes I think war and morality are mutually exclusive
Europe made me soft. It took away my edge. I found a loophole and thus I was never really working for a whole year just living in europe on a government paycheck...Now I'm back to this army shit and I'm nothing like any of these people... I have a couple close friends but other than that i'm a social pariah. People think I'm soft. Just because I don't have a desire to riddle some 15 year old with bullets, doesn't mean I can't fight. Perhaps that bloodlust is a good mentality for war.
Sometimes I think i'm going to go out like that one guy who was greased by that sniper handing candy out to the kids.
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What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad -Morpheus
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