Anger: Buddhist Wisdom for Cooling the Flames: Amazon.co.uk: Thich Nhat Hanh: Your Store
This is a book that really cut to the heart of how I have delt with anger now, but really helped me come to a close in a larger battle throughout my life, utilizing the learning experiences I have with it.
"Hatred(anger) can't be over come with hatred(anger), Love is the only thing that can. This is an ancient truth" ~Dhammapada.
I really believe this verse.
Mindfulness is how I work through and to a larger extent in my life, learned to walk with it leased like a big dog that smells something it likes. Sometimes you can tell when a dog is going to bound and jerk you hard. Being aware of how your body feels right before you begin to act is key. Anger itself is natural, unconstructive action from it is the harmful part to everyone. Other times this dog suprises you and drags you alittle further than you'd like, so knowing how to put the brakes on can be even more valueable. Right now it sounds like you are getting taken for a ride after work, no? And this is a problem for sure. Because it sounds like you aren't getting a break from the tension.
Mindfulness means alot of things, and can be exhibited in alot of ways. One
of personal mantras has become
"Maybe their Grama just died"
This reminds me that I don't always know for sure why people act the way they do and this is a compassion that you can give to yourself too. Life is stressful but can be managed in practiced ways that let us feel more tame when confronting them. Not all people know this and can get carried away with exteral stress, which goes inside and clouds our actions/perceptions to/of others, weather we mean to or not, it happens. Often I'm sure people are just trying to do what is best and not intentially hurting others. Being aware that you can readily change your preception of how your day can weigh on you, puts you in a state of mindfulness and awareness of your bodily state, which is effected by mind.
In other words, if you can look differently at the way people act in life, then maybe you can begin to not let anger rise to a point where it follows you home. Getting at the root.
But for starters, just doing something when you come home or throughout your day that lets you pay attention to what you are doing, will help. Go for a short walk and think about the quality of your steps, how it feels to set them on the ground and how the air feels on your face. Weightlifting, biking anything you do think about how the air feels as you breath in as it passes the tip of your nose. This is the gate keeper of mindfulness, seeing the type and legnth of breath coming into your body. Living in a meditative mindset of watching how things come into your existance field and feeling the wheels starting to turn. Are they reving too fast?
Notice that when you are feeling tight and think of your breath, how easily it comes and how full the lungs become. The more you do this the easier it becomes second nature. Soon you might be finding yourself smiling alittle when you are observing the foolery at work and how it follows you home.
Mindfulness of how your senses guide your response and those of others, starts to give birth to a compassionate feeling of something like ' I wish people didn't have to feel so worked up and whatever is weighing them down, I hope they can feel resolve in that matter ' And being kind to yourself and think, ' How can I deal with this most constructivly ? ' Rather than the " Why is this happening to me? ' metality. Will improve your outlook hopefully.
My these words lend a hand to you. I have lived in abolute anger before in my life and this is a bit of common teachings and personal application that have had profound change in my life, for the good and embetterment of all.
Feel free PM me to talk in depth about anything, it and my heart are always open.
In loving kindness,
SageTree