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It is crazy you mention this realization... I'm 21 and have been thinking about this as well, as recently as an hour ago.
For me it's different because growing up, I was always the youngest of my entire family. Family get togethers always was just about different areas I could play and just enjoy the general atmosphere of things.
Overnight, it seems, I've grown into an adult and everyone else has stayed the same. It's like my role of being a sociable adult seems weird within the family; almost like it doesn't 'fit'. This isn't to say I don't let my family know I love them as they do the same for me, but it just seems different.
But I digress... my involvement with my family is just in a process of shift, just as my role from being 'the kid' to the 'young adult' shifts. I think this guilt is partly due to a realization that your new ideas and concepts of what it means to be close to someone don't match with what they were growing up...what you've essentially built the relationship with your family on.
Although more of an assumption than anything, I think the older members of your family know exactly what you're going through as they very well may have went through it themselves. I believe it's natural when after flying the coop, so to speak, you begin to not only come into your own, but also subconsciously understand the role your family had in helping you get there. Therefore, you begin to reflect on the relationship you have with the people that have always truly mattered in your life, your family, and see the importance of being close with them.
Basically, once the goal of becoming who you are is well underway, you're able to shift focus from yourself to those closer to you.
This is reaaally scattered and i'm sorry for not being more concise, but feel free to pick at what I've said if it has any relevance for you!
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Step Back. Evaluate. Recognize.
"The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly—you usually don't use it at all. It uses you."
-Eckhart Tolle
-If you try to destroy him to save them, they'll destroy you to save him-
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