All young adults experiencing the same thing on this board? I suppose leaving the nest is one of those "milestones", one where when you look back the view is entirely different from when you first were looking out.
I can definitely relate Sars. I have been out of the house for quite a while now, my living situation has never been stable for as long as I can remember. When I left home I was really young, and I never felt like I closed the appropriate chapters before venturing out. Because of this I had traveled back and forth across the country yearly as I tried to ease my indecision.
It's a really hard process to go through. Especially if you had rocky relationships at home, there's a sense of regret that's overwhelming. You are basically a different person from who you were when you established your relationships with these people. Now... at a time in your life when you're expected to kinda boot these people out of your daily life, you dont feel as if the relationships are accurate or fair to who you are now. And in their minds you are still the same person. How they treat you may then hold you back from feeling like progress is possible. Sometimes it really never leaves, a lot of parents think their offspring are eternally children. I wish that were the case.
I can't really give you concrete and solid advice as I am still going through this in my own life. All I can tell you what I've done to ease my own mind and close the chapters I feel that need closing before I can feel confident in my decisions as a young adult. I set out a time period, which I'm nearing the end of right now, to engage in my "past life" (aka life before moving out). Spending time with the family as much as possible (I actually came back home for a while to do this). And I am acting in according to how I want to set off my relationship with my family..Leaving room for no regrets by acting and relating with these people how I want to now as an adult. I am also establishing what it is about this environment and these people who made me who I am. How I can keep growing from the benefits of these things and how I can change the negative influences of those things.
In this process I think its important to establish your values as a person, so you can really identify just what it is you cherish about your family and home life so you can incorporate them in your "new life". Take the time to meditate on saying goodbye to the life and the things you've grown so accustomed and conditioned to. Try visualizing the changes your making as a celebration of you coming into your own. Liberation, freedom, confidence.
Those two things have probably helped me the most, as it is more of an inner struggle for me than anything else... so changing my perspective has definitely had the most impact
. You begin to realize that you have so much influence at this point in your life right now, that change is possible and that knowing yourself is the most powerful tool you can be equipped with. The sense of empowerment that you get from these personal "epiphanies" are irreplaceable.
Much love girl, and all the best.
