dubtrice

its hard man, I know what you mean... to fight for a long time staying clean, then fuck it all up with one hit and feel like you're back at square one. It feels horrible, it makes you feel worthless.

You feel like shit and you know you dont need it, but when that money comes you're happy again and you want to do it "just one more time" and the cycle continues..

But if you're looking to quit, looking for help, then you're already past square one, you know what you need to do, just need to figure out how to do it.

Gotta make a commitment, they say the first two months are the hardest, they aint lyin. Look at your life man, no money, no job, almost no home; the only thing thats made it like this is the drug.

Gotta make a serious commitment, for your life man, pay up your debts, pay the dealers and tell em not to sell you any more shit, you're done. Gather up the paraphernalia, anything that reminds you of that shit and throw it away.. FAR away... delete the dealers numbers, forget about them.. It may seem rough, but you know its what needs to be done.. Make a plan for yourself, what do you want to do in life, seriously? Go to College? Work forever?

Not a clue what you want to do? Talk to a recruiter from any branch.. Chances are they've seen many people in the same situation you are in, they will do whatever they can to make sure you stay clean and follow through with your commitments; you'll be clean and have a solid, good paying job for the next 3 or 6 years, money for college and experience that will look great on your resume.

Im speaking from experience, drugs are fucked, something you will always regret as long as you keep doing them, but its never too late to quit, now is the best time. Most important, remember that even though it may feel like it, youre not alone, a lot of people go through this shit and you can be one of the many who beat this shit.