|
so um i finally connected with her tonight via phone. I was walking to the beer store after my second shift at teh new job (yay! 10 bones an hour to stand around and do nothing and smoke indoors) and on the way she called me. We talked for about 15 minutes about some pretty meaningless shit (she couldn't believe that I was already 20, "five minutes ago you were only 18"). She said she had to go because she was about to pass out from working a double.
Tommorow I plan to tell her about the feelings I had/have for her (haven't decided on the tense to use with that one). Er. I feel 100000x better having just heard her voice, hearing her laugh.
I unno, but the universe seems to have balanced itself out.
Interestingly 10 minutes after I sent her a message on facebook which was essentially a very polite "fuck off", she tried to call me. I missed the call, but turns out she hasn't been on the computer in the last 2 weeks. <- these type of things are not uncommon between us.
She finished one of my sentences on the phone while I was talking to her. It kind of hurts that I let her slip away on me, but I am acutely aware that I could not have satisfied her emotionally in a relationship. Despite the fact that we both possess minds which seem to be infinitely older than our earthly vessels, I understand that she needs someone older in a relationship.
I feel I am beginning to put these feelings to bed, in a sense.
All is right with the world again, I feel as though a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
__________________
|