I've read that it is good to teach that there is private (not to be judged or known by outsiders) family life and a separate family that is available to anyone. My terminology sucks 'cause I'm distracted but I think you know what I mean.
I was on hard shit for 4-5 years at the end of my teens. I think your message is good. Mainly, though, if you guys are good to them they probably won't want to hurt themselves. Your message coupled with showing them (which you do) that they are worthful is the key. My parents taught me I was worthless so I showed them they were right.
Eventually I got clean and started to learn to think like a normal (unabused) person. They're still in their F*cked up dynamic. They are incapable (so far) of seeing me outside the role of 'family scapegoat', plus although I resist it with my inner being I know they're a bunch of miserable, nasty jerks; so I had to shed their asses. I never needed them anyway because they never actually were what they were supposed to be. Oh well--sorry I digressed. I don't normally do that.
Take care of yourselves. On a side note, be aware that in NYS the D.A.R.E. program often involves instruction and Q & A sessions between students and police instructors sometime during grade school (depending on your district). I was taken aback when I realized how early the government sticks its noses into "our" business.
I don't normally write this buzzed (Frisian Dew--slow but encompassing) and it seems like I rambled. I'm gonna post it anyway--screw it
Have a nice day.