I was sitting by myself in the woods a few days ago letting my mind wander around after smoking a bit (highly reccomend it
). I eventually setteled on a thought and powerful feeling about my family tree. It was a vivid 2D picture of the classic family tree, me at the base of the trunk with each past generation splitting in two, one for the man one for the woman. After I had gotten a vivid mental image of that, I had a rush of energy flow into me, as if all the life energies from my direct family were flowing into me. I wish I could put into words how expansive and powerful this energy was, hundreds of individuals whose lives had funneled down and condensed into me. It pulsed down my mental tree image and gave me a feeling that I was in possesion of my own heritage, that their lives had inexorably led/flowed into my existence. I had never before felt such a force streaming into me and "blowing" up my own self into something that was more than anything I could be on my own. I deeply enjoyed the feeling of connectedness and oneness with my own life's history, but I also am keenly aware of the gigantic responsibility that I have to my famlies life force.
I am the condensed energy of untold thousands of humans and other animals before them. I am not here by myself, I am here with everything that came before me, and I feel the weight of that responsibility to my ancestors. It excites and intimidates me to no end.
Any one else felt/feels like this? It is a humbling point of realization.