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**SageTree** · 09-08-2009, 09:17 AM

Hi Folks.

Just feeling pretty tired at the moment.

My wife has alot of her plate right now. She is busy in her schedule and I feel is having some existential issues right now concerning death, which means that I have to talk about it as well.

Her Uncle how has outlived his cancer due date by 3 years now and was just told that the experimental trials aren't going to help him, since he rejected them physically. He is only 50

Our cat is 14 years old and has just been put on thyroid meds, for the rest of her life. They are helping her. But dang it. She is 14 and looking and acting older all the time.

And this ofcourse leads to the natural consideration of our deaths, which isn't easy to think about when we are both already sad, and the thought of not having the other around right now is overwhelming.

I only have 8 more days of work left and then I am out of town for a month house sitting. So I will have some time away, in a way. I plan on using this as a retreat/cleansing time for myself and am taking a break from smoking for the better part if not all days from Sept 17-Oct, after Dawali. I won't have acess to it and had a really amazing experience last year when I stopped for two weeks.

I feel the retreat time will give me some focus and recharging, because this has been going on since the early summer when her Grandpa died, got calm and has recently resurfaced. She is always busy which is healthy for her, but has become stressed out lately. I feel like I have infinate patience, but it's hard when she is arguementative and me not far behind in moments lately, because of feeling stretched.

So think about me here over the next few weeks. There is a trip to Nova Scotia for a conference which coincides with our 5th Anniversary, then I'll be away for nearly a month.

Just needed to vent this some what, as yesterday I had to have a more serious talk about it with her and let her know where I'm at as well.

It's hard to feel like you have it together and are holding up another person as well. Thus is a marriage and friendship, I have had times when I'm the held, but now it's me holding. So wish me the strength and patience so that it's easier, but not because I feel like I can't go further.

Thanks.

09-08-2009, 09:17 AM	#182 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 22,611 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 11,486 Thanked 5,709 Times in 4,024 Posts	Hi Folks. Just feeling pretty tired at the moment. My wife has alot of her plate right now. She is busy in her schedule and I feel is having some existential issues right now concerning death, which means that I have to talk about it as well. Her Uncle how has outlived his cancer due date by 3 years now and was just told that the experimental trials aren't going to help him, since he rejected them physically. He is only 50 Our cat is 14 years old and has just been put on thyroid meds, for the rest of her life. They are helping her. But dang it. She is 14 and looking and acting older all the time. And this ofcourse leads to the natural consideration of our deaths, which isn't easy to think about when we are both already sad, and the thought of not having the other around right now is overwhelming. I only have 8 more days of work left and then I am out of town for a month house sitting. So I will have some time away, in a way. I plan on using this as a retreat/cleansing time for myself and am taking a break from smoking for the better part if not all days from Sept 17-Oct, after Dawali. I won't have acess to it and had a really amazing experience last year when I stopped for two weeks. I feel the retreat time will give me some focus and recharging, because this has been going on since the early summer when her Grandpa died, got calm and has recently resurfaced. She is always busy which is healthy for her, but has become stressed out lately. I feel like I have infinate patience, but it's hard when she is arguementative and me not far behind in moments lately, because of feeling stretched. So think about me here over the next few weeks. There is a trip to Nova Scotia for a conference which coincides with our 5th Anniversary, then I'll be away for nearly a month. Just needed to vent this some what, as yesterday I had to have a more serious talk about it with her and let her know where I'm at as well. It's hard to feel like you have it together and are holding up another person as well. Thus is a marriage and friendship, I have had times when I'm the held, but now it's me holding. So wish me the strength and patience so that it's easier, but not because I feel like I can't go further. Thanks. __________________ YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance. "We're not here to judge what's good from bad, But to do the things that are right."