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**SageTree** · 09-15-2009, 07:56 AM

Thanks Mydri.

Today Delilah goes to get a tooth out and her teeth polished, so that maybe she can eat easier. Her thyroid pills didn't set well with her at first, and that will be adjusted as well once she goes back on them.

It's hard to think about this little ball of fur that has been around for my wife and mine's total time together, just not being there. She is such a part of our family and since we can't have children this makes our pets even more important in that aspect.

It's really hard sometimes knowing I'll never look into the eyes of a baby I helped create....

Knowing these are my attachements, that is all part of my thinking when I consider what it will be like to not have her around. I mean she is 14....she is healthy for the 99% part, but I can tell that we are getting to the extending life phase of our existance, and I contemplate that selfish feeling as well, and wonder about the time we'll have to choose. I wish she would just curl up and fall asleep like a dog I had did, but life is rarely that forgiving with death.

My wife is the one I feel for the most out of the two of us. I don't want her or the cat to suffer and I don't know if there is alot I can do to help.

So for the last week or so I have just been overcome ,while working in strangers gardens, with tears, for our cat, for my wife, for our short time together, and maybe for myself as I want to be part of a solution. I'm just taking it in stride and being forgiving to myself, because it is hard to let those you love go. And I've been taking the time to spend extra time with the good thoughts I have, like all of us sitting in our upstairs rooms on Sunday's, when we lived in a different house, reading, listening to the radio and smoking, and the times now when she is out and seeking us.

We are incrediably lucky to have such a good cat and I hope that we all will find the power and stregnth to work through this together. It's not an 'if' ofcourse, it's just when. And I must try not to think too much about what that will look like.

I don't particularly need to be whining about this on and on, but it feels good to get my thoughts out on 'paper'.

Poor Rishi doesn't know what to do when his buddy is at the vet. So I hope that she does okay today with going under for a while and that she returns to us saftly once more.

Thanks for listening friends.

09-15-2009, 07:56 AM	#188 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,766 Times in 4,664 Posts	Thanks Mydri. Today Delilah goes to get a tooth out and her teeth polished, so that maybe she can eat easier. Her thyroid pills didn't set well with her at first, and that will be adjusted as well once she goes back on them. It's hard to think about this little ball of fur that has been around for my wife and mine's total time together, just not being there. She is such a part of our family and since we can't have children this makes our pets even more important in that aspect. It's really hard sometimes knowing I'll never look into the eyes of a baby I helped create.... Knowing these are my attachements, that is all part of my thinking when I consider what it will be like to not have her around. I mean she is 14....she is healthy for the 99% part, but I can tell that we are getting to the extending life phase of our existance, and I contemplate that selfish feeling as well, and wonder about the time we'll have to choose. I wish she would just curl up and fall asleep like a dog I had did, but life is rarely that forgiving with death. My wife is the one I feel for the most out of the two of us. I don't want her or the cat to suffer and I don't know if there is alot I can do to help. So for the last week or so I have just been overcome ,while working in strangers gardens, with tears, for our cat, for my wife, for our short time together, and maybe for myself as I want to be part of a solution. I'm just taking it in stride and being forgiving to myself, because it is hard to let those you love go. And I've been taking the time to spend extra time with the good thoughts I have, like all of us sitting in our upstairs rooms on Sunday's, when we lived in a different house, reading, listening to the radio and smoking, and the times now when she is out and seeking us. We are incrediably lucky to have such a good cat and I hope that we all will find the power and stregnth to work through this together. It's not an 'if' ofcourse, it's just when. And I must try not to think too much about what that will look like. I don't particularly need to be whining about this on and on, but it feels good to get my thoughts out on 'paper'. Poor Rishi doesn't know what to do when his buddy is at the vet. So I hope that she does okay today with going under for a while and that she returns to us saftly once more. Thanks for listening friends. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.