Bearsy

I've been suffering from some really hardcore depression recently, and my pops has been trying to help me get through it, which I really appreciate.

He helped me get re-registered for college cause I failed out last semester.
I have some kind of problem with me where I stop doing stuff after about a week or two of trying really hard to do well. I don't know what causes it, but it's made me fail the 10 of the last 11 classes I've taken, entirely cause of absences... not due to it being too hard. In fact the lack of challenges are why I think I'm doing so poor.

But anyway, this semester I was really looking forward to going to school... yanno? THIS IS MY SEMESTER AND I'M GETTING ALL A's!
School started September 2nd and I was ready and raring to go, and then I turned 20 the next day and I had the worst birthday I could ever imagine, and my depression got so fucking bad that I only went to 2 other classes since then, so I'm definitely failing this semester as well.
However I've been lying to my parents about it for the past month and a half, going so far as to get on the bus every day and just hang out on campus instead of going to class.

And I don't want to disappoint them, but Idk what to do. It's killing me to lie to them every day but it'll probably be even worse if I tell them the truth.

I don't really know what I'm expecting to get from posting this, but I guess I just need to vent.
Every night around 6pm I start to get really depressed and I get into these funks. I sit up for hours just being sad. I don't understand it.
I've got 2 Xanax in my pocket that I want to take but I feel like it'd be a waste and I should save them til I really need them.
I know everything I need to do to help me get out of this depression, but I'm too depressed to do anything about it.

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