Yeah I dropped out of college before too man. It was because of depression as well. I took a year break fucked myself up royally but found out that I really do have a passion for learning over most anything else.
The state school I went to was just full of a shitton of assholes, cheeseballs, egomaniac, losers. I felt so fucking alone cuz my family left me on my own and moved out of state. I was cleaning dishes to barely be able to eat and pay the rent to share HALF of a basement in a town-house appartment... I was real into drugs already, but it got pretty bad. I had to be fucked out of my mind to be in a class-room or really to do anything. Then I gave up and pretty much wanted to die, I saw no point in success or happiness.
I dropped out before final's had to pay the 4k I blew, did some illegal shit to pay it up. Dug my whole deeper with my addictions.
Got kicked out of where I was staying cuz I couldn't pay rent(lots of drama behind that but I won't get into it, roomie robbed me). Was homeless and staying at whoevers house I could. Sneaking out of friends houses before their parents woke up is no way to live man...
I had some kind of revelation. I found out what my passions where and realized I wasn't going to let anything get in my way.
Worked some shit out with my parents moved back in with them(thank god). Now I'm in a community college, and I honestly love it. The people are real as fuck and are only there to learn just like me. School is a bit of discipline, and when learning any descipline you have to have self-value and self-worth.
Didn't mean to get into my experience too much, but I think you just need to find out what you need/love and make a promise to never let anything keep you away from getting it. You need to realize this is your only shot man, and all you gotta do is BS some papers, pay attention and try to be interested in knowledge.
Depression is a bottomless pit, trust me I know that, but you can win Bearsy. Start trying to find things in life that you love(try to avoid people aside from family in this excersize). Realize that you have the utmost control over how you turn out in life.
Most cry for help type behaviors are just tests to see if a person has influence on the things around them(imo).not that this thread is a cry for help or anything I'm just saying. Try realizing how much influence you have in this world and that you are only limitted by that which you let conquer you. And if your a human being like me you can conquer anything you try hard enough at with good faith. Even if you "fail" at something it doesn't conquer you unless you let it.
The universe will only let you fail if you think the universe is a failure or failing you.
also don't cut class EVER it's addicting and means that you don't care or you think the teachers/class have nothing to offer you. And even the stones under your house have a message worth looking into(imo).
my 2 cents. Get better bearsy brother, I know you will if you let yourself. <3 &
