Bearsy

Thanks for the replies. I've got another counseling appointment on the 27th... I don't really want to go cause all she's gonna do is give me pills and then stick me in group therapy. Neither of which are things I want or feel I am ready for.



These are a lot of the things have been gnawing at me for the past few months. I figured it'd be best to write them down. Not sure why I thought that but whatever. In no particular order...


Life extension treatments won't come around fast enough to benefit me. Even if they did, I don't have anything to live for, I just exist.

Browsing my friends' Facebook/Myspace photos makes me sad as they always seem to be having lots of fun with people and I never do.

I've been in love with the same girl for about 3 years and there's nothing I can do about it.

I wonder if I am wasting my youth when I can't sleep at night. But I don't know how to change and I'm too scared to do anything about it.

I sometimes sit and just stare at my monitor wondering why, despite all the internet at my fingertips, I feel lonely and bored.

Just because that girl smiled at me, doesn't mean she's into me.

I laugh at Depression Dog pictures because most of them hit too close to home.

About 80% of the time, I'd rather do drugs by myself and just lock myself in my room than do them with other people.

Anytime a girl shows interest in me, I automatically assume there's something wrong with them, to like someone like me.

I completely skip out on sleep 2-3 nights a week, because the period before I fall asleep is always filled with thoughts and inner-reflections that tear me to pieces.

I find more camaraderie and acceptance and love on anonymous internet forums than I do from my own friends and family.

I'm not suicidal, and I never would take my life... but I find my thinking more and more about how it wouldn't make a single difference to anyone if I were to die right now.

I get so pissed off when people complain about their relationship problems. I would love to have problems with a relationship, because I'll at least have had one.

And then just today I had 2 tickets to see AC/DC and I couldn't find a single friend who wanted to go with me. That fucking killed me, guys. $100 tickets and I was giving one away and the only person who wanted to go was Blue Dolphin(yes, from Yhka).
I ended up giving them to my brother and he never even said thank you.

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