Quote:
Originally Posted by Bearsy
In no particular order...
Life extension treatments won't come around fast enough to benefit me. Even if they did, I don't have anything to live for, I just exist.
Browsing my friends' Facebook/Myspace photos makes me sad as they always seem to be having lots of fun with people and I never do.
I've been in love with the same girl for about 3 years and there's nothing I can do about it.
I wonder if I am wasting my youth when I can't sleep at night. But I don't know how to change and I'm too scared to do anything about it.
I sometimes sit and just stare at my monitor wondering why, despite all the internet at my fingertips, I feel lonely and bored.
Just because that girl smiled at me, doesn't mean she's into me.
I laugh at Depression Dog pictures because most of them hit too close to home.
About 80% of the time, I'd rather do drugs by myself and just lock myself in my room than do them with other people.
Anytime a girl shows interest in me, I automatically assume there's something wrong with them, to like someone like me.
I completely skip out on sleep 2-3 nights a week, because the period before I fall asleep is always filled with thoughts and inner-reflections that tear me to pieces.
I find more camaraderie and acceptance and love on anonymous internet forums than I do from my own friends and family.
I'm not suicidal, and I never would take my life... but I find my thinking more and more about how it wouldn't make a single difference to anyone if I were to die right now.
I get so pissed off when people complain about their relationship problems. I would love to have problems with a relationship, because I'll at least have had one.
And then just today I had 2 tickets to see AC/DC and I couldn't find a single friend who wanted to go with me. That fucking killed me, guys. $100 tickets and I was giving one away and the only person who wanted to go was Blue Dolphin(yes, from Yhka).
I ended up giving them to my brother and he never even said thank you.
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Bearsy, I think it's cool you have the courage to ask for some extra help with your feelings. You are voluntarily going, just be as honest with her as you are with us. It fair that you gage you trust level.
The first appointment is usually talking and assessments, getting some ground work down. Counselors, unless they have a ph.d, can't prescribe meds, that would be a different appointment. Family doctors can write them for this reason, even though counseling is a specialty. However, counseling and meds often have better results than just meds alone.
You are allowed to ask for the kind of treatment you want. You can say how can we do this without them. Change counselors if you have to. I wouldn't be inherently worried about meds. There are doses and kinds that are more temporary and sometimes can make the initial bumps easier to handle. Some times there is a genuine chemical imbalance and you are just being dosed for ease. So be open to anything that might help.
Ultimately, I feel a lot of the things you wrote are signs of depression, which is feelings of being down even when you take action to be more up feeling. Sleep disturbance too little/too much, doubt that you can't reason out/diminished confidence, loss of interest in things you enjoy, And to sum in all up
simply not being able to see the light at the other end of the tunnel.
There are many reasons internally and externally that can get you to this point and feeling.
You experience things, just as much as you help create the experience.
So do try to commit yourself to your well being. Make them work to help you as well, they are specialist, not experts. It's a relationship. I think if you tell your list of things to the doctor and just open up a bit and try to get helped your way and meet in the middle of challenge and comfort, you'll do well.
I went to a counselor for a few sessions, and this guy almost really just pissed me off. I just gave him respect for being a person I trusted to help, he asked some hard questions. He didn't like that I smoked herbs, but that didn't make him stop helping. I told a long list of stories and afflictions and it really came do to working with two problems. For me it was Guilt and Anger. We didn't so much talk about what caused them, although the stories are useful. What I was shown were cognitive means to feel the arising, see when it starts happening, and what to do with it, should it happen, which it does
.I only went to Dan like 4-5 times, no meds.
I feel that it really helped me steady the boat enough to get a breath and have a second to think about how I'm going to sail this ocean of life.
We can't makes the ocean. We can sail in better waters and we can learn to be good sailors ready for many situations, but we will have storms that we need to forge through.
This is how I feel the experience was for me. I was also involved in a Buddhist styled mindfulness meditation group, and this also helped me through my concerns because Buddhism is essentially a means for looking at the mind to find liberation from with in. My wife even has went to Buddhist psychologist and had really good results. There are alot of styles out there to be learned from. Most mindfulness book with a Buddhist base are written for everyone and not exclusive. Often time I find the 'voice' of the author as comforting and logical as the advice and means given.
Pema Chodron has some amazing books about using your will to break out of habitual behaviour, which I feel is the other part of depression. The vicious circle down and in.
Using down and in in a good sense is where I feel the greatest answers will come from, down inside your wish to be happy, which is inside you.
All the good things to you Beasy.
Just remember why you are going and who its for.
You