All right, this sucks for me. I was always aware that an unfortunate closure was inevitable, whether this ending was of my calling or his. However I was not prepared. Finally, I must face this reality.
This friend and I have been kickin' it for about a year. We quickly grew close and became inseparable companions, thanks to good times and overall understanding of one another. Soon, we were hanging out every day.
Over the months that this was going on, I and other mutual friends/insiders both suspected he had feelings for me. I soon found this to be the truth: he would spontaneously give me something nice and I could tell he was comfortable around me. After some time, sex ensued.
He played the initiation toward me extremely carefully. It was prolonged since he didn’t want me to feel I was being utilized for sexual purposes, knowing other guys had attempted to do so in the past and I didn’t respond well to it.
Afterward, we continued to have as fulfilling of a friendship as always. There was no residual awkwardness or uncomfortable vibes with the addition of sex in the picture. In fact, it was awesome for both of us and we kept doing it regularly. I didn’t know/care whether he was banging anybody else at any point; I knew he would have to return to college in time and he was first and foremost, my buddy. But all signs pointed to him not having any other relations in addition to me, and he never asked me if I was being exclusive with him either. There was never any tension, arguments or drama.
Eventually he had to go back to his out-of-state university. Neither of us do long-distance relationships (or have any desire to) so we said goodbyes for that period (until the next semester break) and agreed we were thrilled to have met each other that summer. I had known he was enamored with me, while he was equally aware that I wasn’t secure with investing myself in him.
As promised, we did see one another on breaks and picked up where we left off.
Recently, he left this college-afar for good, coming back to our mutual area to take time to decide on what he wanted his major to be and go to community college instead. I was happy about it and we talked about how it would be cool to see each other regularly with this change. But now circumstances face a high probability of not being that way.
Suddenly, he’s got a girlfriend.
I am not unreasonable—from what I know she is very nice and well liked, AND he and I were never officially committed, thus there is no room for malice or jealousy from me. What I’m worried about and saddened over is the possibility that we won’t hang out.
Given how well I know him, I believe he fears that it’s impossible for us to quit having sex and resume normal/formal friendship guidelines, since it went on for a long time and never stifled anything else (certainly, I would not be ok with facilitating any cheating either) and we were both sexually enthusiastic about each other. It would be a challenge to modify this pattern in my mind, but certainly never impossible.
Regardless, I’m devastated that I may have lost something that meant a lot. We were always good to each other. I have no idea how to adapt, or even propose to. What should I do?
