I am awake and alive and in good spirits!
Yesterday I was expecting my very first unemployment check and instead I got a letter saying there was an error on my form and to please call to straighten this out so I did...
I called the number and a very polite young womans voice said she was sorry that the system was receiving more calls than it could handle and I should try back later. Now, sitting next to me is a good friend and former mortgage broker whose new field of expertise is navigating the EDD, he told me that the state initiated this phone system so the caller wouldn't be greeted by a busy signal, he also learned that it costs an average of $.05 every time the phone plays the recording to say the phone system is busy even though AT&T will let you use their busy tone for free. Ricky told me to just try back right away if you get the young lady but to make sure you hold on if you're connected to the more mature sounding recorded womans voice as she is the on hold queue and will get you into the system. She answered and she did, she let me know that my wait time was approximately four minutes and told me about the wonders of online inquiries, unfortunately I needed to speak with a live human.
I got to speak to that live human, his name was Joel. Joel answered and promptly told me that he would be unable to access any of my file information and would be unable to assist me in any changes to the account...
So now Joel, let me get this straight here, just for my own info.
I called and got a recording to tell me the phone was busy, then I called and got a recording that said to hold on and press this button or that button to be assisted with my claim and once I did that I was connected to a guy who says he really can't help me with anything, but he can take a message to have someone who is able to access my account and make the necessary changes call me back in three to five business days.
Believe me, it sounds absurd here in print but live it just once and the ridiculousness will scar you for a good long time.
So, today I am going to get back on the phone and take Ricky's advice that indeed the human answering machine
can help assist you if you say the magic words or stroke it's dick just right or whatever, it can be done. So my task today is to jump into a big pool of stupid and tread water with the ignorant/indifferent and try not to hold anyone under until they die.
I'm coffeed up, lit up and ready for the battle of wits with my giant, yet unarmed opponent. Wish me luck.
