I'm glad you decided to put this one in here. Maybe for a while you can see how it does in here and if you want we can put this in FFA if it's a little slow for ya.
I like the idea of what you are doing here. I think it's a good idea to put some extra lines on either side of the passage. Also there are cultural metaphors that don't always come across right when taken literally. Some times it's the THE behavior that is being said is wrong, rather it's something to juxtapose 'correct' or 'preferable' behaviour.
Like when Buddha shaved his head, when the Brahmins, of the Hindus, all had long hair. And now these days lots more 'priestly' or 'classy' people who are in control have the short hairs. That is something of the time that really made sense when taken from that aspect. Now I think the head shaving is more tradition that necessity or rite.
The camel passing through the eye of a needle is another. Look that up and see what you find about historical pretext. All of a sudden the metaphor about the rich man makes a lot more sense than just comparing him to a camel.
Thanks Brother. I'm happy you are engaged in search for meaning too