Your Most Embarrassing Sexual Moment

Cerpin Taxt · 01-16-2010, 04:28 PM

Alright, let's here them!

Mine would probably have to be from my first year at university with my soon-to-be girlfriend in her dorm room. I had come into her room late at night, as the late night rendezvous was our thing for that week or so. Normally we'd just do a lot of making out and dry humping on the wall, but this night was different. We slowly found our way to the floor and she started to blow me six ways from Sunday; this was GOOOD... so good, in fact, that I became a little too relaxed.

With her in the process of licking my balls, I let out a loud, solid fart. Being shocked as I was with having just farted in this girl's face while not knowing how to react, I simply moan/mumble, "Oh shiit..." as if to acknowledge that this indeed had just happened, but the head was too good to focus any more attention on it.

It was never spoken of until almost a year later when she brought it up, and how unbelievably awkward it was.

COLES NOTES: I farted in a girls face while she licked teh saq

Mescalito · 01-16-2010, 06:04 PM

Ahhhhahaha that cracked me right up. I have a story but it is not as funny.

M

**SageTree** · 01-16-2010, 06:25 PM

Well I was having sex with my girl friend at the time in her room. I pulled out and came all over her pubic area between her belly button and vagina. We laid there for a while and started making out again. I began to kiss her all down her front, working my way down....

all of a sudden SNOWBALL TIME!... FACK!

So there I am with some ,not a lot as I figured it out pretty quick, on my chin, lips and nose....

I sprang up in surprise which started her too.

She started to laugh....

I thought 'you think that's funny?' And planted a big kiss right on the mouth!

Later this was ironic because she was the kinda girl who wouldn't put me in her mouth, and was too paranoid to let her in mine...So at least she got a taste of me once!

Unfortunately so did I.

Don't know if that was really that embarrassing. But besides the plane flying by on the mountain story from SARS thread.... I can't think of too many times I'd say I was totally shocked during sex.

Once I bought a girl a toy and I went to the bathroom before. So I was gone like 1-2 mins, when I came back she was totally using it on herself and super into it.... It's pretty exciting to think about now even... brb

Embarrassed really isn't in my rage of emotions in my memory.... shit happens.... not to make a pun on your story

what can ya do? I would have said sorry and moved on.

Good story though. I can certainly see where you're coming from. And that isn't a pun either.

Likely it has something to do with not having a lot of sex when I was young.

Mescalito · 01-16-2010, 07:36 PM

I had this idea that myself and my ex would get it on from one year to the next... any excuse. Anyways.. I was so shitfaced I couldn'd get it up. Long story short... she 'went out' with her friends whilst I fell alsleep, and eventually shit her bed.

As a side note... ever getting head and you know you will cum soon but you control it so she doesn't realise how imminent it is... then... BAM! Guaranteed a laugh or a at least a slap.

M

**SageTree** · 01-16-2010, 07:39 PM

Sounds like a PRE-Dickament imo.

msicidron · 01-16-2010, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mescalito

As a side note... ever getting head and you know you will cum soon but you control it so she doesn't realise how imminent it is... then... BAM! Guaranteed a laugh or a at least a slap.

M

lol >_<

Geeno · 01-16-2010, 08:58 PM

Being too drunk to get it up. Happened a few times.

Mescalito · 01-16-2010, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SageTree

Sounds like a PRE-Dickament imo.

Quite.

M

Peace seeker · 01-17-2010, 12:02 AM

make a long story short

we were bangin a classy broad with my bro, he comes on her tits (while i was fucking her), i dont see it and afterwards go to lick her tits

snowball....

washed my mouth and kept on fucking her for the rest of the night

Mescalito · 01-17-2010, 12:17 AM

with your brother?

M

**SageTree** · 01-17-2010, 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mescalito

with your brother?

M

It's not like they were banging their sister mang!

right?

Peace seeker · 01-17-2010, 01:39 AM

damn right

whats more natural than bangin a fine lady with your bro?

Smith&Stoned · 01-17-2010, 06:20 AM

Once I was fucking this chick I met at a bar and there was A LOT of blood.

We were in my room with the lights out, tv going and all of a sudden I feel slimy all over my chest and stomach. I turn on the light and her blood is all over me. I was covered! She supposedly cut her hand on my bed somehow and never told me.

Boy if that isn't a mood killer I don't know what is.

I fucked her anyway after we washed up, though.

my_scatterheart · 01-17-2010, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peace seeker

damn right

whats more natural than bangin a fine lady with your bro?

thats fuckin gross

Cerpin Taxt · 01-17-2010, 09:06 AM

^Hey now, to each their own.

I for one admire the open-ness, even though I couldn't do that with my brother. I think the attitude can be somewhat chalked up to the cultural differences between opposing sides of the pond.

Another reason I can't wait to be in Europe!

Back on topic though. I did just remember (thanks turm...

) that I did get caught slapping it around one morning when I was younger. But, literally, I was slapping it around. I woke up with morning wood and was just sort of laying there smacking it around mildly amusing myself, when my mom walks in without knocking as says "Oh, you're awake are you?"

Another one of those "Never mentioned again" moments.

myxomatosis · 01-17-2010, 10:56 AM

Nah I gotta agree, pretty fuckin gross.

**SageTree** · 01-17-2010, 10:58 AM

You mean gross fucking?

myxomatosis · 01-17-2010, 11:01 AM

Haha, that part comes during the rest of the story.

Cerpin Taxt · 01-17-2010, 11:09 AM

That's cool you're stickin with your girl scatter, myxo, but my point still stands.

Perspective!

**SageTree** · 01-17-2010, 11:19 AM

In all the world's history... I think getting your groove on with your brother in a threesome ranks pretty 'meh'. He didn't say he chopped her up w/ his bro.

01-16-2010, 04:28 PM	#1 (permalink)
Cerpin Taxt Yahookan Zealot Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 7,213 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 843 Thanked 1,919 Times in 1,011 Posts	Your Most Embarrassing Sexual Moment Alright, let's here them! Mine would probably have to be from my first year at university with my soon-to-be girlfriend in her dorm room. I had come into her room late at night, as the late night rendezvous was our thing for that week or so. Normally we'd just do a lot of making out and dry humping on the wall, but this night was different. We slowly found our way to the floor and she started to blow me six ways from Sunday; this was GOOOD... so good, in fact, that I became a little too relaxed. With her in the process of licking my balls, I let out a loud, solid fart. Being shocked as I was with having just farted in this girl's face while not knowing how to react, I simply moan/mumble, "Oh shiit..." as if to acknowledge that this indeed had just happened, but the head was too good to focus any more attention on it. It was never spoken of until almost a year later when she brought it up, and how unbelievably awkward it was. COLES NOTES: I farted in a girls face while she licked teh saq __________________ Step Back. Evaluate. Recognize. "All memory is really a form of regurgitation of undigested experience." -Alan Watts Last edited by Cerpin Taxt; 01-16-2010 at 04:30 PM.

01-16-2010, 06:25 PM	#3 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,761 Times in 4,664 Posts	Well I was having sex with my girl friend at the time in her room. I pulled out and came all over her pubic area between her belly button and vagina. We laid there for a while and started making out again. I began to kiss her all down her front, working my way down.... all of a sudden SNOWBALL TIME!... FACK! So there I am with some ,not a lot as I figured it out pretty quick, on my chin, lips and nose.... I sprang up in surprise which started her too. She started to laugh.... I thought 'you think that's funny?' And planted a big kiss right on the mouth! Later this was ironic because she was the kinda girl who wouldn't put me in her mouth, and was too paranoid to let her in mine...So at least she got a taste of me once! Unfortunately so did I. Don't know if that was really that embarrassing. But besides the plane flying by on the mountain story from SARS thread.... I can't think of too many times I'd say I was totally shocked during sex. Once I bought a girl a toy and I went to the bathroom before. So I was gone like 1-2 mins, when I came back she was totally using it on herself and super into it.... It's pretty exciting to think about now even... brb Embarrassed really isn't in my rage of emotions in my memory.... shit happens.... not to make a pun on your story what can ya do? I would have said sorry and moved on. Good story though. I can certainly see where you're coming from. And that isn't a pun either. Likely it has something to do with not having a lot of sex when I was young. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance. Last edited by SageTree; 01-16-2010 at 06:27 PM.

01-16-2010, 07:39 PM	#5 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,761 Times in 4,664 Posts	Sounds like a PRE-Dickament imo. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

01-17-2010, 09:06 AM	#15 (permalink)
Cerpin Taxt Yahookan Zealot Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 7,213 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 843 Thanked 1,919 Times in 1,011 Posts	^Hey now, to each their own. I for one admire the open-ness, even though I couldn't do that with my brother. I think the attitude can be somewhat chalked up to the cultural differences between opposing sides of the pond. Another reason I can't wait to be in Europe! Back on topic though. I did just remember (thanks turm...) that I did get caught slapping it around one morning when I was younger. But, literally, I was slapping it around. I woke up with morning wood and was just sort of laying there smacking it around mildly amusing myself, when my mom walks in without knocking as says "Oh, you're awake are you?" Another one of those "Never mentioned again" moments. __________________ Step Back. Evaluate. Recognize. "All memory is really a form of regurgitation of undigested experience." -Alan Watts Last edited by Cerpin Taxt; 01-17-2010 at 09:21 AM.

01-17-2010, 10:56 AM	#16 (permalink)
myxomatosis life is music Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: between a pair of headphones Posts: 3,917 Thanks: 1,024 Thanked 933 Times in 597 Posts	Nah I gotta agree, pretty fuckin gross. __________________ oh sometimes the blues is just a passing bird and why can't that always be tossing aside from your birches crown just enough dark to see how you're the light over me last.fm blog deal (updated 12/22/11)

01-16-2010, 06:04 PM	#2 (permalink)
Mescalito Oneironaut Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 6,281 Thanks: 855 Thanked 906 Times in 443 Posts	Ahhhhahaha that cracked me right up. I have a story but it is not as funny. M

01-16-2010, 07:36 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mescalito Oneironaut Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 6,281 Thanks: 855 Thanked 906 Times in 443 Posts	I had this idea that myself and my ex would get it on from one year to the next... any excuse. Anyways.. I was so shitfaced I couldn'd get it up. Long story short... she 'went out' with her friends whilst I fell alsleep, and eventually shit her bed. As a side note... ever getting head and you know you will cum soon but you control it so she doesn't realise how imminent it is... then... BAM! Guaranteed a laugh or a at least a slap. M

01-17-2010, 12:02 AM	#9 (permalink)
Peace seeker free the herb Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 6,841 Thanks: 770 Thanked 549 Times in 384 Posts	make a long story short we were bangin a classy broad with my bro, he comes on her tits (while i was fucking her), i dont see it and afterwards go to lick her tits snowball.... washed my mouth and kept on fucking her for the rest of the night

01-17-2010, 12:17 AM	#10 (permalink)
Mescalito Oneironaut Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 6,281 Thanks: 855 Thanked 906 Times in 443 Posts	with your brother? M

01-17-2010, 01:39 AM	#12 (permalink)
Peace seeker free the herb Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 6,841 Thanks: 770 Thanked 549 Times in 384 Posts	damn right whats more natural than bangin a fine lady with your bro?

01-17-2010, 06:20 AM	#13 (permalink)
Smith&Stoned YaHookan Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: A Ramblin' Man Posts: 64 Thanks: 4 Thanked 13 Times in 11 Posts	Once I was fucking this chick I met at a bar and there was A LOT of blood. We were in my room with the lights out, tv going and all of a sudden I feel slimy all over my chest and stomach. I turn on the light and her blood is all over me. I was covered! She supposedly cut her hand on my bed somehow and never told me. Boy if that isn't a mood killer I don't know what is. I fucked her anyway after we washed up, though.

01-17-2010, 10:58 AM	#17 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,761 Times in 4,664 Posts	You mean gross fucking? __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

01-17-2010, 11:01 AM	#18 (permalink)
myxomatosis life is music Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: between a pair of headphones Posts: 3,917 Thanks: 1,024 Thanked 933 Times in 597 Posts	Haha, that part comes during the rest of the story. __________________ oh sometimes the blues is just a passing bird and why can't that always be tossing aside from your birches crown just enough dark to see how you're the light over me last.fm blog deal (updated 12/22/11)

01-17-2010, 11:09 AM	#19 (permalink)
Cerpin Taxt Yahookan Zealot Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 7,213 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 843 Thanked 1,919 Times in 1,011 Posts	That's cool you're stickin with your girl scatter, myxo, but my point still stands. Perspective! __________________ Step Back. Evaluate. Recognize. "All memory is really a form of regurgitation of undigested experience." -Alan Watts

01-17-2010, 11:19 AM	#20 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,761 Times in 4,664 Posts	In all the world's history... I think getting your groove on with your brother in a threesome ranks pretty 'meh'. He didn't say he chopped her up w/ his bro. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance. Last edited by SageTree; 01-17-2010 at 11:55 AM. Reason: r

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode