Tonight is fucking crazy

SmokeaJoint · 11-12-2010, 07:59 PM

So, one of my Mom's friends came over tonight because she needed her car looked at. Just a lose battery cable, but thats not the point. Anyways, after I get the problem taken care of, I invite her in for coffee or whatever. You know, just being a gentleman. Oh, did I mention this lady is a complete fox? Yeah, she totally is. Light blonde hair, big blue eyes, petite build. 35 years old, looks 25 at the most. Anyways, I'm in the kitchen washing my hands and she is behind me. I hear her say "Hey.." in this sexy voice, and I turn around. Chick is literally an inch from my face, sexy as hell. I'm doing my best to maintain eye contact, but I see she's just looking me up and down, a little smile on her face. This is when my heart starts beating out a Samba. All I can think is "Uhm..." but apparently she had no such conflict. She leans in, hands going around my shoulders. I put mine on her hips by force of habit. She says something along the lines of "I wanna thank you for fixing my car" or something, looking up at me.

Now, just to be clear, my hesitation wasn't the result of being a pussy or anything. See, I already got a smart, beautiful girl that adores the shit outta me, and I feel the same. I'm not the kind to cheat, but I swear to Jesus my willpower at that moment became weaker than an anemic midget.

Thank fate for small mercies, because at about the same time I was considering seeing how fast I could get naked, I hear my Mom's jeep pull up. I say "Oh shit, my Moms home", hoarse as shit since my mouth was dry as fuck. She pulls back, smiling a little. "Maybe next time" she says, and steps back into the dining room. Mom, in classic form, didn't notice a goddamn thing, or else she neglected to comment if she did. Her friend (name's Leah btw, don't know if I forgot to mention that) makes a little small talk about some BS with her ex, then splits.

My conflict, and feel free to offer opinions here, is as follows. Should I go for it? Just kinda a one off thing? Or should I (try to) stick to what I think is "right" and turn her down? Gawd, this shit is bugging the hell outta me! I really don't know how to handle this sort of conflict. Ok, go.

SmokeaJoint · 11-12-2010, 08:32 PM

C'mon YaHooka, grant me some of your ineffable wisdom!

stonerkid · 11-12-2010, 09:14 PM

you got a gf? wtf? well where is she?
what she don't know aint gonna hurt.
not that i support cheatin i too have a great relationship i would hate to ruin
but if i where in ur shoes i would bang the shit outta ur moms friend........

SmokeaJoint · 11-12-2010, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stonerkid

you got a gf? wtf? well where is she?
what she don't know aint gonna hurt.
not that i support cheatin i too have a great relationship i would hate to ruin
but if i where in ur shoes i would bang the shit outta ur moms friend........

Yeah I got a girl. I put a pic up here somewhere...TKA I think. But yeah. Shes working atm, night shift. She'll be off at 3am or thereabouts.

I was gonna do the deed, I couldn't help myself. Shit got interrupted yo. But now I keep thinking I shouldn't because infidelity aint my thing. If/when the opportunity presents itself again, IDK if I'll have the strength to say no. IDK if I want to say no, ya know?

The Rev · 11-12-2010, 10:48 PM

I had this uncle that used to go to conventions alot. It was part of his business, so he kinda had to do it. Well, one time, he comes home and gives my aunt crabs. You see where this is going? If this chick is ready to impale herself on your johnson, without pretense or hesitation, she's probably had other dicks in her recently as well. I mean, it's not like she's secretly been attracted to you for awhile and she's just admitting it, or something cool like that. She's just following a habit of "when in doubt, put out".

You're better off not risking a really terrific relationship in order to have a one off exciting fling with your mom's slutty friend. Who knows what her agenda is. I mean, I wouldn't fuck one of my friends' kids. I value my friendships and I know that would introduce a serious degree of weird to the situation, if not hurt feelings. Besides, if you do it, then you gotta do the "big lie" thing with your girl, and secrets kill real intimacy and trust.

That being said, there's no reason you can't jerk it to the fantasy of this as many times as you want. Do as Mickey Mouse suggests, and use the power of your Imagination!

The Rev

SmokeaJoint · 11-12-2010, 11:36 PM

Except for the fapping part,

Way I figure, since I like fucking and my girl likes fucking, fapping aint necessary. Dude, you're right of course. Great advice. I wonder, if I tell my girl about it, you think I'll get my head knocked off? Been thinking about it, IDK tho. I can see it turning out either way.

HTAM · 11-13-2010, 12:03 AM

DON'T tell your girlfriend.

JcP · 11-13-2010, 03:23 AM

dont do it. karma, not to mention the guilt and regret should your GF find out and dump you, will eat your soul.

it's the telltale heart man. if you do it, it will beat under the floorboards for the rest of your life.

Freewilly · 11-13-2010, 03:34 AM

You have a girlfriend so no way should you jeopardize that for a five min lay it isn't worth it. Unless of course your gf means nothing and you can imagine life without her if she ever found out.

**mothernature** · 11-13-2010, 04:06 AM

Basically I agree with Rev. Although, if you weren't in a relationship, I'd probably say go for it (protected, of course).

I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your mom, but my kid would tell me. Not to snitch, but in a sharing of info sort of way.

I had a friend who hit on my daughter. It freaked her out. I got mad and he tried to buy me off with a pair of gloves. That made it worse. I threw the gloves at him, called him a pervert, he left, and that was that.

msicidron · 11-13-2010, 06:38 AM

^yeah but thats different. that was your daughter. I'd a killed that fool

thats what sucks about girlfriends, theyre always in the way when our greatest fantasies come to fruition

Mikey · 11-13-2010, 06:57 AM

I was going to say pretty much what Rev said.

If you happy with your girl and love her, then don't do anything you wouldn't want her to know about.

If your unhappy with your girl it might of been different, and yeah she does kinda sound easy.

SmokeHerb · 11-13-2010, 08:34 AM

Dude. Lucky. LOL but seriously, maybe you should call her and see if there is anything else you can "fix" for her and make a date, but at the same time, get your girl over there and see what happens XD

SmokeaJoint · 11-13-2010, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmokeHerb

Dude. Lucky. LOL but seriously, maybe you should call her and see if there is anything else you can "fix" for her and make a date, but at the same time, get your girl over there and see what happens XD

Wow that might be interesting. My girl has been known to keep a girlfriend of her own for a bit, which always worked out in my favor.

Well, I pretty much told her last night "This bitch my mom knows was trying to fuck with me, but nothing happened" and my girl took it pretty well. AND I got some nice jealous GF sex to go along with it. Which totally helped the issue since afterwards I thought "Why the hell would I wanna be with anyone else?". Fate forgive me for my momentary weakness.

Geeno · 11-13-2010, 09:10 AM

I doubt this happened

SmokeaJoint · 11-13-2010, 09:13 AM

Of course you do. GTFO if you don't have anything useful to say, this aint FFA homie.

Flamingnun · 11-13-2010, 09:33 AM

So alleged "uber milf" inintiated the no pants dance and you denied, without even getting her number to arrange something, or anything?

The man who never did anything, never regretted anything. N'amsaying?

SmokeaJoint · 11-13-2010, 10:35 AM

I got her number man. Facebook too if it counts for anything. Hell, she lives only a few blocks from my apartment. Hella nice house too.

**SageTree** · 11-13-2010, 12:57 PM

I would just let it go man. I don't think cheating is any way to build a relationship unless you know you are in an open one, which I'll hold comment on.

Just keep this up your sleeve. If you and your girl break up, then I'd say you have a good booty call on your hand, but if you enjoy your love life with you gf, live it up man.

I'm not sure how long you've been together.

Count your blessings that you got a SUPER nice compliment and let it go at that.

That is my two cents since you asked for it.

Sex is awesome, but a clear conscience is a pretty priceless item itself.

You can have both with your GF.

Having regrets about not and having regrets about doing it, seems to be what you are left with on the matter.

I wish you luck in following your heart.

HTAM · 11-14-2010, 12:11 AM

You're SO DONE with the GF if the seed of jealousy germinates.

'Why don't you go fuck that bitch who made a pass at you?'

Don't play leapfrog with a unicorn.

11-12-2010, 10:48 PM	#5 (permalink)
The Rev Clear Light Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In my head, somewhere. Posts: 17,854 Thanks: 5,008 Thanked 5,407 Times in 2,860 Posts	I had this uncle that used to go to conventions alot. It was part of his business, so he kinda had to do it. Well, one time, he comes home and gives my aunt crabs. You see where this is going? If this chick is ready to impale herself on your johnson, without pretense or hesitation, she's probably had other dicks in her recently as well. I mean, it's not like she's secretly been attracted to you for awhile and she's just admitting it, or something cool like that. She's just following a habit of "when in doubt, put out". You're better off not risking a really terrific relationship in order to have a one off exciting fling with your mom's slutty friend. Who knows what her agenda is. I mean, I wouldn't fuck one of my friends' kids. I value my friendships and I know that would introduce a serious degree of weird to the situation, if not hurt feelings. Besides, if you do it, then you gotta do the "big lie" thing with your girl, and secrets kill real intimacy and trust. That being said, there's no reason you can't jerk it to the fantasy of this as many times as you want. Do as Mickey Mouse suggests, and use the power of your Imagination! The Rev __________________ Budforce - My Friend August 29, 1973- May 25, 2012

11-13-2010, 06:38 AM	#11 (permalink)
msicidron vibing Join Date: May 2007 Location: North America Posts: 959 Thanks: 229 Thanked 157 Times in 122 Posts	^yeah but thats different. that was your daughter. I'd a killed that fool thats what sucks about girlfriends, theyre always in the way when our greatest fantasies come to fruition __________________ \|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|

11-13-2010, 06:57 AM	#12 (permalink)
Mikey Seasoned YaHookan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: gulf islands bc Posts: 7,442 Thanks: 1,144 Thanked 2,246 Times in 1,475 Posts	I was going to say pretty much what Rev said. If you happy with your girl and love her, then don't do anything you wouldn't want her to know about. If your unhappy with your girl it might of been different, and yeah she does kinda sound easy. __________________ RIP Gov

11-13-2010, 08:34 AM	#13 (permalink)
SmokeHerb Daily Toker Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Edmonton Alberta, Canada Posts: 37 Thanks: 10 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts	Dude. Lucky. LOL but seriously, maybe you should call her and see if there is anything else you can "fix" for her and make a date, but at the same time, get your girl over there and see what happens XD __________________ Legalize, Not Criticize Smoke Weed, Every Day

11-13-2010, 09:33 AM	#17 (permalink)
Flamingnun Shpadoinkle Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: roflmao Posts: 17,491 Thanks: 1,046 Thanked 2,633 Times in 1,185 Posts	So alleged "uber milf" inintiated the no pants dance and you denied, without even getting her number to arrange something, or anything? The man who never did anything, never regretted anything. N'amsaying? __________________

11-13-2010, 12:03 AM	#7 (permalink)
HTAM Old School Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3,872 Thanks: 2,368 Thanked 2,117 Times in 1,179 Posts	DON'T tell your girlfriend.

11-13-2010, 03:34 AM	#9 (permalink)
Freewilly Dark Angel Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 54 Thanks: 22 Thanked 14 Times in 11 Posts	You have a girlfriend so no way should you jeopardize that for a five min lay it isn't worth it. Unless of course your gf means nothing and you can imagine life without her if she ever found out.

11-13-2010, 04:06 AM	#10 (permalink)
mothernature ancientbongmaster Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Kentucky Posts: 1,231 Thanks: 1,200 Thanked 808 Times in 487 Posts	Basically I agree with Rev. Although, if you weren't in a relationship, I'd probably say go for it (protected, of course). I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your mom, but my kid would tell me. Not to snitch, but in a sharing of info sort of way. I had a friend who hit on my daughter. It freaked her out. I got mad and he tried to buy me off with a pair of gloves. That made it worse. I threw the gloves at him, called him a pervert, he left, and that was that.

11-13-2010, 12:57 PM	#19 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,761 Times in 4,664 Posts	I would just let it go man. I don't think cheating is any way to build a relationship unless you know you are in an open one, which I'll hold comment on. Just keep this up your sleeve. If you and your girl break up, then I'd say you have a good booty call on your hand, but if you enjoy your love life with you gf, live it up man. I'm not sure how long you've been together. Count your blessings that you got a SUPER nice compliment and let it go at that. That is my two cents since you asked for it. Sex is awesome, but a clear conscience is a pretty priceless item itself. You can have both with your GF. Having regrets about not and having regrets about doing it, seems to be what you are left with on the matter. I wish you luck in following your heart. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

11-14-2010, 12:11 AM	#20 (permalink)
HTAM Old School Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3,872 Thanks: 2,368 Thanked 2,117 Times in 1,179 Posts	You're SO DONE with the GF if the seed of jealousy germinates. 'Why don't you go fuck that bitch who made a pass at you?' Don't play leapfrog with a unicorn.

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