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Old 02-26-2013, 04:27 PM   #1 (permalink)
yabooban
 
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Taking It Sloooow

Hey yall!

So i just told my best friend I liked her more than just that and she said she felt the same. so that was cool. Anyways we talked about it, and she said she's scared, and doesn't want to mess up a good friendship. I think I managed to convince her that the benefits of being together outweigh all that stuff and we agreed to take it really, really slow, which is cool.

people look at me like im crazy when they ask 'so you guys had sex right?' and i reply 'no we hi-5'd then held hands'

...Anyways i guess I'm wondering if anyone has any advice on taking it slow? i don't want to pressure her or anything, but also feel like my taking the initiative with certain stuff may help!

Has anyone formed a relationship with a friend? how did it work out? what kind of a pace did things move at and such? did you find it weird? - i don't think ill find it odd - i just worry that she will, and i wanna do my best to make it all comfortable, and not so odd.

Cheers!
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Old 02-26-2013, 04:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 02-26-2013, 05:04 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Toot it and boot it!



That's great you told her how you felt! I haven't ever gone from a good friend to a relationship. I do know all about taking it really slow from my one serious gf of about 2 years ( Ex now ). Before we were together didn't kiss for long time. Didn't have sex until months after being together.
I guess it's tricky since you two already know each other pretty well. Do you spend time together one on one already? Dinner is always good. Walks in te park ect.
Hope all goes well.



Physical acts can definitely come later. I believe if happens to fast it's already doomed.
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Old 02-28-2013, 02:27 AM   #4 (permalink)
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^ we did dinner and a walk in the park yesterday.
Then we hung about on my bed listening to Nick Cave songs lol (the new album, less of the dark stuff)

I managed to snatch a goodbye kiss as I walked her to the tube station - it was beautiful, though maybe a little clumsily executed haha

Fuck it - end thread. I reckon ill be fine!
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You wake up at Seatac, SFO, LAX. You wake up at O'Hare, Dallas-Fort Worth, BWI. Pacific, mountain, central. Lose an hour, gain an hour. This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. You wake up at Air Harbor International. If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?

http://vimeo.com/user4038385/videos
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Old 02-28-2013, 02:47 AM   #5 (permalink)
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>don't get friend-zoned
>be alpha
>don't wait too long to fuck her or she'll start to think of you as a friend
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Old 02-28-2013, 04:27 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Just keep at the pace you're going at. There are still women out there who fancy a bit of old-school romance and dating. The fact that she said she was interested at all pretty much sealed the deal, imo.

don't overthink it, continue to be the fabulous gentleman you are, and continue to let her know how beautiful and fantastic you find her.
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Old 02-28-2013, 07:34 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Get her bucked man you fanny
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Old 02-28-2013, 08:16 AM   #8 (permalink)
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the friend zone doesn't exist (how can you start a relationship with someone you don't know/are friends with), but be careful so as to not go so slow there is no relationship at all. seems like you will most likely be fine having had the balls to tell her how you feel, so keep it up
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Old 02-28-2013, 08:50 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Alcohol!
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Old 02-28-2013, 12:13 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I worked with a girl for a year and were friends via work.

After a while I purposed that we start hanging out, since we were going separate ways in a few months,
and didn't want to get into a committed relationship that we spend time together and also get busy once in a while.

She was game and it was good fun. Many stories.

Not really going 'slow' or anything, but we spent time together as friends doing stuff,
not just booty calling.

When the time came to move our separate directions we parted as friends
and to this day we're good friends, despite the geographical distance between us.


My advice Uber, is keep being friends and talk about stuff openly, like I'm sure you already have in the past.
Communication is what keeps it from getting weird.

Otherwise, just be your regular gentlemanly self, in as much as I know you.

All the best, Friend.
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Old 02-28-2013, 12:16 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SageTree View Post
Communication is what keeps it from getting weird.
.
truth.

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Old 02-28-2013, 02:05 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Droll on her tits. Works every time.
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Old 02-28-2013, 02:53 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Droll on her tits. Works every time.
Quote:
droll
/drōl/
Adjective
Curious or unusual in a way that provokes dry amusement: "his unique brand of droll self-mockery".
Make wry comments about her tits?
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Hold up. So God made the earth
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Dinosaurs on that bitch
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Old 03-01-2013, 03:04 AM   #14 (permalink)
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lol@ loanword spelling in english
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Old 03-06-2013, 12:17 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Hey!

So an update: Things are going great!

Except for one thing though. Her Ex! Back in the day me and him used to be closer friends than we are now (no particuar reason, we just drifted because we both had job stuff going on and he moved further out of town)

Anyways they split over 18 months ago. Regardless he's pretty mad at me. I think hes still slightly in love, despite getting with other girls since the split (AND despite cheating on her during their relationship).

Im going to meet him at the pub in an hour to talk about stuff which will be buckets of fun.

Thing is I dont quite know how to play this. one the one hand, yes I feel bad that its his ex and I broke the 'bro code', but on the other hand they split a long time ago and its about time he moved on and acted like an adult about the whole thing. Also me and she both agreed that theres nothing he can do or say will change us going ahead with this. so resistance is futile! Its not like I want his blessing.

Basically when I talk to him tonight I don't know wether to grovel or tell him to pull himself together! He's kind of a weird guy. I wont be surprised if he swings for me if i do the latter.

Thoughts?
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Old 03-06-2013, 12:54 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Sounds like a tough gig. It's less about what you say to him, you don't need to say much at all. I'd just listen to the fella, tell him you understand, and smile and wave.
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Old 03-06-2013, 01:13 PM   #17 (permalink)
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18 months is long enough. I'd say 6 months it may be ok a year is better.

Of course that's dependent on how good of friends you guys were. Are we talking just a drinking buddy or a true homie that had your back when it mattered?



The fact that he cheated on her gives him NO right to be upset. Do not grovel. He is a cheater and should be treated as such. ( by cheating I'm assuming sex ). What he did since doesn't count since not in relationship.

Also be prepared to fight
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Old 03-06-2013, 02:55 PM   #18 (permalink)
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By now it's either all good or you have a black eye.

Don't keep us in suspense...
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Old 03-06-2013, 03:42 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Technically it would be against bro-code for him to hit uber if he had in fact NOT slept with the woman in question.
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Old 03-06-2013, 03:45 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I think
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