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Old 05-28-2017, 10:17 PM   #1 (permalink)
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What do you look for in a partner?

I thought this could be an interesting thread.


What qualities do you look for in a partner? Be it a short term thing or what you look for (or have) in person for a longer relationship. And what are some things that are absolute deal breakers for you?
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Old 05-29-2017, 04:33 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Proper etiquette for starting a thread is to offer your own input to the question you posed...
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Old 05-29-2017, 05:48 AM   #3 (permalink)
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personally i was never into short term partnership so i don't have any preferences there.

things i 100% need:
-naturally flowing conversation always
-loyalty/openness
-physical attraction/sexual compatibility
-loves food

deal breakers:
-doesn't get along with my friends
-doesnt like dogs
-lack of respect
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Old 05-29-2017, 02:51 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moketweed View Post
Proper etiquette for starting a thread is to offer your own input to the question you posed...
Absolutely untrue and deeply uncouth of you to think this, and worse yet, speak it. I open the door to the topic and allow my guests to introduce themselves, take off their shoes, get a drink and help themselves to the food before I fill my own plate.

I will respond soon when clear headed.
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Old 05-29-2017, 03:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Deal breaker, homelessness.... next question....
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For a wounded man shall say to his assailant
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Such is the rule of honor

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Old 05-29-2017, 04:05 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Main character trait would be Kindness.
Both in general to other people, and how they get in arguments.

Some people can seem super nice and usually are, but once shit goes down they get borderline evil with what they say and do. Like shit id feel horrible saying to even an enemy, let alone to someone i love.
Like ive been cheated on and treated horribly, but even thenive never wanted to actually hurt the other person.
I know crazy emotions come with relationships, but im really looking for someone that also holds that mindset.


Other than that, i agree with capt's list.
Also needs to be passionate about something. Doesnt matter what.

And maybe most importantly, decent hygiene. Doesnt matter how sexy and awesome you are if you stink.
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Old 05-29-2017, 05:37 PM   #7 (permalink)
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This sounds fucked up but...

I have to look at her and know in my heart that I would go to the ends of the earth for/with her, that her problems can be my problems. That doesn't just mean a sexual/physical thing. Its just something that's there or isn't. That feeling could get larger or smaller depending on experiences with the person, but it has to be there from the start.
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Old 05-29-2017, 05:53 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I'm looking for a partner so fine I'd eat her ass out after 2 weeks of camping.

Dealbreaker would be if she owns or has owned a pet rat(s)
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Old 05-29-2017, 06:53 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonas View Post
I'm looking for a partner so fine I'd eat her ass out after 2 weeks of camping.

Dealbreaker would be if she owns or has owned a pet rat(s)
The best ass i ever ate, had previously owned rats.

Just sayin.
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Old 05-29-2017, 08:05 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Material items, cash.. and a huge peninsula.
Can't be over 26..
Has to answer all phone calls and texts within 3 minutes or less.
Must laugh at all my jokes.

To see the rest of the legally binding document go to..

www.sellyoursoultoturmaline.ca
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Old 05-30-2017, 10:16 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Intelligence, happiness, contentedness with their life and continual drive to improve.

High libido, attractive, sexually adventurous...

The normal shit.

Honestly happiness and contendedness are the rarest qualities.
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Old 05-30-2017, 01:44 PM   #12 (permalink)
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realistically nobody is always happy with themselves all the time. you are setting the bar pretty high by excluding prople who are still working on it
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Old 05-30-2017, 04:30 PM   #13 (permalink)
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It's not really happiness but more like serenity and contentedness, girls who enjoy their lives are much more attractive than those who are dissatisfied. At this point I don't want a project.
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Old 05-30-2017, 05:49 PM   #14 (permalink)
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What about mistaking moods for discontentment? I'm confused. Happy, content.. what's the dif? I mean progress not perfection. You ar speaking from what you've learned in the program. Don't be too literal. You may be disappointed
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Old 05-30-2017, 06:31 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I have a great girlfriend now who meets all my criteria but it took a while to find her and girls being moody/miserable/anxious/dissatisfied with life was the most common problem I saw. A lot of people are really unhappy much of the time and it's such a turn off. That doesn't mean that I want a girl who's completely satisfied with life as it is, but I want a girl who's happy and confident enough to keep putting in work on self improvement.
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Old 05-30-2017, 06:43 PM   #16 (permalink)
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That's what I meant.
People aren't happy all the time.
I guess you know what I mean.
I don't think anyone wants a person with baggage or turmoil.
Drama
Chaos
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Old 05-31-2017, 03:19 AM   #17 (permalink)
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I feel like sometimes it can take a while to even figure out what we need in a partner, especially when we are young. I think that as we get older and we learn more about ourselves it gets easier - or more accurate.

Mind you - love is an incredible thing that can breathe and change and grow, which is pretty amazing.

Personally though, I find myself getting on best with people who are creative in some way, not a necessity though. Someone who is compassionate, loving and spiritually minded. Trustworthy is a really important characteristic. Left-leaning in politics, as specific as that sounds.

Deal breakers? Doesn't split chores or work equally, to be honest. General thoughtlessness or apathy. Controlling..

And perhaps it's the poet in me but I definitely put a lot of stock into the "magic", if you will. The unspeakable connection that makes being around the person really easy.
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Old 05-31-2017, 06:38 PM   #18 (permalink)
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This seems best broken down into absolute necessities, preferential qualities, and deal breakers.. so

Absolute must haves:
- good heart. I have to feel when I look at you and think of you that I believe you have a good heart. Guess that is obvious though as that's pretty much a given if you love someone
- natural lover. By this I mean someone comfortable with their body and their sexuality and shares it in a way that feels natural to me. ie: this person probably never slept with someone out of insecurity, they know how to be passionate and unashamed, stuff along those lines
- loves music on some level. Another one that probably doesn't need mention -- everyone loves music, right?
- honest. If you aren't honest, you ain't shit.
- open, compassionate, and strong willed. Someone that will be open to me and cut me slack, but calls me out if I was acting a fool
- her eyes are beautiful
- able to have philosophical, or in depth conversation


Preferential:
- Nice ass.
- Equally or more intelligent than me.
- Athletic enough that we can do stuff like ski, hike, kayak etc.

Deal Breakers (aside from the converse of the must-haves):
- Hates my family or her family hates me
- Holds ugly prejudices
- Doesn't know how to cook. That's not because I expect her to cook for me, but because who the shit doesn't know how to cook?
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Old 05-31-2017, 06:42 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Deal breakers? Doesn't split chores or work equally, to be honest.

Lol.

This one is so tricky.

I have found that the best approach to this is to minimize the complexity of how work is distributed. Otherwise toes seem to get stepped on too ofte.

I remember once the rule was super easy:
1. I cook and clean the bathroom.
2. She does the cleaning and the laundry.


I don't know if that's fair from others' viewpoints but we not once argued about this issue thanks to that simple rule
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Old 06-01-2017, 10:21 AM   #20 (permalink)
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i do whatever tasks my wife hates most and vice versa. that way its not too difficult to split up work.
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