http://www.yahooka.com/blogs/jimmycube/ The Guide to Marijuana on the Internet If we unite as one voice, we will be heard! en Wed, 30 May 2012 07:18:53 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.yahooka.com/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.yahooka.com/blogs/jimmycube/ http://www.yahooka.com/blogs/jimmycube/370-us-we-love.html Sat, 09 Apr 2011 03:54:00 GMT so i am having a great day right :D shits been good...finally some sunshine back in through the clouds. Well at the end of night Lain *wife* and my daughter have to go to some shitty student play that Lains mom is putting on *she is a drama teacher* It was called honkey tonk house wifes or some shit. So we are sitting though this wretched play smiling and trying to look like a normal family and stuff like that. Amongst a group of old time classic platonic family types just loving the lil... so i am having a great day right :D shits been good...finally some sunshine back in through the clouds. Well at the end of night Lain *wife* and my daughter have to go to some shitty student play that Lains mom is putting on *she is a drama teacher*

It was called honkey tonk house wifes or some shit. So we are sitting though this wretched play smiling and trying to look like a normal family and stuff like that. Amongst a group of old time classic platonic family types just loving the lil jokes about "the ol ball and chain" "divorces" all that fun stuff right :rolleyes:

The intermission hits, and Lain and I look at each other...then look at Lilith and we just strait up walked the fuck out lol. We dint even have to say a word to each other. It was just up and gone. It was just a moment of pure mental connection between 3 people. We just looked at each other and were like "yeah...this isnt us...we dont need to be this...we dont want to be this"

Out we went....hit a good local food place...ate some fine food...Go home...Lain picks up her bass, i pick up guitar..my daughter picks up her lil keyboard/drum thingy. Lain and i smoke a spliff *we did it on the down low* gave my daughter a Dr Pepper *so she thought she was fuckin partying right along with us* and we just played man.

I am not saying we fuckin wrote an epic song...but for that fuckin moment....we all just were playing as one, having fun..and being us.

Yeah baby....thats how we do it. We are who we are...and u know what...i am fuckin proud of us.

hells yeah...be u...never quit being u.

"today was a good day" ]]> Jimmycube http://www.yahooka.com/blogs/jimmycube/370-us-we-love.html http://www.yahooka.com/blogs/jimmycube/301-eulogy-2000-2008-jimmy-cube-long-ass-read.html Wed, 26 Aug 2009 19:10:17 GMT As I should I will start by saying sorry to all those who I offended, aka "shit on" during those 8 years. I clearly was loosing it slowly and life changing events, drug addiction and the eventual drug psychosis that followed really dint help the situation very much.

I of course can’t justify all my wrongs here. Hurting other people is hard to justify in real life let alone the need to hurt people hundreds or thousands of miles away, people that I have never met or ever will, people who for the most part, have been very kind to me, people who are a lot like I was and currently am. Most of it I really don’t remember anyways so that makes it all the more futile.

Instead I will try to explain why I acted the way I did, why I was who I was and what I was trying to achieve. This isn’t all for other people to read but also for me to "get the demons out" as it were. A type of self examination to learn about myself and face what I dint like about myself and learn why.

“Down the rabbit hole we go”. Like many people when I first smoked weed and found out that it dint kill me I felt that I had been lied too by society as a whole and if they lied about that, what else had they lied about? So began my illustrious/pitiful drug career and when I say a career I mean it. I strait up dedicated my life to drugs. I did everything I could as soon as I could and of course, as much as I could, which would latter lead to my downfall. If I wasn’t doing various drugs I was writing about them, making zines about them, writing faqs, guides, trip reports and art dedicated to or done on various chemicals. I literally still have 2 file cabinets filled with folders of just my drawings I did on drugs. Some are kewl, some not so much. I managed to keep this life style going through high school and college with relative ease. Many times my reputation or constant saturation of my college or school with my drug zines would gain me access to the stashes of various friends or “people in the know”. Thus feeding the beast that was inside me with a general ease. It was some what manageable. Sure, it no doubt cost me some points on exams and various concerned looks from family members but hard drugs were mostly saved for weekends so it never had a chance to get out of hand.

Through those years I had one constant. That of course was my now wife Lain. She was and still is my partner in crime, my “other half”, my best friend, the only person who could tell me “no”. During these years Lain shared my passion for drugs but obviously did not have what ever my brain has that doesn’t know when to stop. She had the control I dint, the compassion I lacked and the ability to say “no”. She some how managed to keep me “in line” with out ever seeming like she intentionally was. When college ended her and I both had are degrees and were ready to tackle the world together but then something unexpected happened.

About a week or two out of college I became paralyzed. Now, I am not going to go into that very deeply because it’s been discussed to death already. I will just say it was bad time for the both of us and really did some major damage to my self esteem. Lain staid by my side through out and honestly I don’t know how she managed to do so but I have learned that she is quite the lil warrior at heart. Although I place her on pedestal she still manages to shatter my expectations of her capabilities. Now, in an attempt to keep this whole thing on track I will keep the praise of my wife to a few paragraphs instead of a few pages.

This is ware things truly became “interesting” and by that I mean “fucked up”. I am lucky in terms of illness because I am in the 5% percent who recover mobility from it. That doesn’t mean I dint have significant problems both physically and more so mentally from the whole ordeal and thus introduced to the world of a true addict by my Drs and specialists. The fact that I had chronic pain, severe depression and a chronic illness made me the perfect time bomb and prescription drugs lit the fuse. I was put on a steady increase of opiates, benzos, muscle relaxers, anti depressants, and classes of drug I don’t even know to this day. While this is happening my specialists were telling me I had “a few years” to live and I literally was watching myself go from a 160lb slightly chubby guy to a 115lb skeleton. When all you feel is pain, all you hear is death and all you see is yourself wasting away your mind does very strange things.

In the storm of all this confusion and general turmoil I got my wife pregnant and we had our daughter Lilith. When most people have a child they throw away their “childish ways” and take on the responsibility of having a family and a child who depends on you. Being the provider and general example of what is considered right to your children. For me though it was quite different at the time. To keep it short and sweet I really hated myself then and felt I was a major strain or bother to all those around me. Generally I felt the people I truly loved would be better off with out me. So, I fuckin left Lain and Lilith and ran off with a heroin dealer I was introduced to by a “friend” of mine.

Oh, I am sure you remember her to my dismay lol. She had a face only a mother could love and that dint even hold true because she was adopted but what she did have was a ton of free heroin and at that time it was my crutch for completely avoiding everything I felt physically and mentally/emotionally. I just did heroic amounts of H and hoped for a quick and easy ending to my life but luckily it never came. Eventually we ended up doing all of our own stash of course *which truly was a huge amount of drug because she was funded by divorced out of state parents who happened to be quite well off it took us a better part of a year and a half to do all of it & left me in drug induced psychosis which I don’t have the words to adequately describe*. When I was forced to get off heroin because every dollar was spent, every bridge was burned and all other paths were fortified I became slightly more clear headed and it dint take long for me to realize I had truly gotten myself into a far worse situation than the one I had left. It began to sink in that even though I tried with all my might I had indeed began to out live my what my Drs had said was my life expectancy and do things that they said I would never do. Once again I had the realization that “the people in charge” had no idea what they were talking about much like when I had first smoked weed and realized the “establishment” was also clueless.

So began the slow crawl out of the gutter so to speak. Then, Lain and Lilith were in a car crash that almost killed them both. Once again all my plans went to complete shit. My world fuckin turned upside down on me and I know what you’re going to say “wtf is he talking about? He left them so how could he act like he loved them so much?” Well, I do have a reply to that and I am not expecting anyone else to really understand this line of thinking but it is truly what I felt at the time. I left them because I loved them. I really thought they would be better off with out me at the time and they actually were. Lain had moved with Lilith to another state and they were doing fine until Lain failed a pop drug test for weed and lost her job because of it and then moved back home to be with her mother. Getting back to the point though the first few days after the car crash I just hit the fent harder than ever. Lain came too pretty quick but she was badly injured and had a shattered orbital socket which took a few surguries to fix. Lilith was in far worse shape and was in a coma for what seemed like forever. I began to literally stay at the hospital with Lain and Lilith day and night. There wasn’t a lot I could do for Lilith, just hold her hand and kiss her head and pray to every god I ever had known to make her better. I could how ever help Lain by just staying with her and talking to her and letter her know that she still meant the world to me and when things got bad I would always be there for her like I had promised in my youth. Thankfully (cant find words to express how thankful I really am), they both came out of the whole thing fine and eventually ended up suing the other driver who hit them for quite a large sum of money because he was drunk and on the meth.

The car crash was a big turning point for me obviously. I got rid of the heroin chick quickly and after some convincing I was able to prove to Lain that I at least realized what I needed to do to improve my life and all that remained was to actually do it. So in yet another stroke of divine luck I was given another chance with Lain and my daughter. Eventually after much trial and failure I was able to get myself off of all recreation use of narcotics, mainly fentanyl and xanax. Mind you what just took a few sentences to say took a few years to actually complete fully.

Eventually I got a good paying job, quit all recreation drug use except weed, shrooms and E *Lain and I were both candy kids so the E kinda is like having our teen years back* got another degree, (thank you gov for paying my entire way) built a big ass house, manned up and became the father my daughter needs and went about living my life as though I indeed do have medical problems but that doesn’t mean I cant live a full and enjoyable life and still manage to take care of my daughter and wife and do good things to actively participate in society while knowing I can never recreationally do drugs like I used too.

It all really seems like a dream when I think back to the past, just the amount of bad decisions is really staggering to me at this point but it is what happened and I am just thankful that I ended up ware I am today. So, there you have it. I don’t know what it all means or if it helps anybody but I feel better having said it and congrats if u actually read the whole thing

much love ]]> Jimmycube http://www.yahooka.com/blogs/jimmycube/301-eulogy-2000-2008-jimmy-cube-long-ass-read.html http://www.yahooka.com/blogs/jimmycube/278-guerilla-gardening.html Fri, 10 Apr 2009 03:05:20 GMT This is a fun lil thing we learned to do back when lain and i were part of a wiccan coven during our early college years (yeah, thats another story to tell someday). Each spring we still make a few batches and bomb the more neglected areas of our neighborhood. Its always a lot of fun making the earth a bit nicer to look at and you can get pretty mischievous with the whole thing depending on the seeds used. For instance, its a great way to plant weed in public places in seconds. Throwing... This is a fun lil thing we learned to do back when lain and i were part of a wiccan coven during our early college years (yeah, thats another story to tell someday). Each spring we still make a few batches and bomb the more neglected areas of our neighborhood. Its always a lot of fun making the earth a bit nicer to look at and you can get pretty mischievous with the whole thing depending on the seeds used.

For instance, its a great way to plant weed in public places in seconds. Throwing them in rich peoples perfect rose beds could be quite fun. I personally like throwing datura bombs on golf courses (sorry golfers but u suck). The datura grows fast, spreads easy and is hard as fuck to kill. Its not hard to think of even more evil uses if one so desires.

How to make seed bombs:

Materials:

1. Mixed seeds (use native seeds to your local eco-system)

2. Compost

3. Powdered red or brown clay (if u live by a steam u can probably find it or its called terra-cotta, is really cheap and at ceramic supply stores ever place)

3. Water

Directions:

1. Combine 2 parts mixed seeds with 3 parts compost.

2. Stir in 4 parts powdered red or brown clay.

3. Moisten with water until mixture is damp enough to mold into balls

4. Pull a lil chunk of your "bomb mixture" out of the bowl and roll it in your palms until its a tight ball about 1 inch in diameter.

5. Now let them dry for about 24-48 hours on some newspaper. Store em in a cool dry place and they are ready to rock anytime.

They dont need to be buried or watered which is whats so sweet. They will self germinate when conditions are right so toss away and watch em grow yo. ]]> Jimmycube http://www.yahooka.com/blogs/jimmycube/278-guerilla-gardening.html http://www.yahooka.com/blogs/jimmycube/276-tour.html Wed, 25 Mar 2009 19:44:19 GMT hello all :D its been quite sometime sense i have made one of these things so i figured...perhaps now would be a good time. Well first let me start by saying i for some unknown reason cant few my profile so anybody who has been wondering what the hell happened their honestly i dont know. Its being worked on and hopefully one day is fixed. I am not sure how long it has been sense i finally gave up the full time drug lifestyle but it does get easier everyday. Not to say that i dont often... hello all :D

its been quite sometime sense i have made one of these things so i figured...perhaps now would be a good time.

Well first let me start by saying i for some unknown reason cant few my profile so anybody who has been wondering what the hell happened their honestly i dont know. Its being worked on and hopefully one day is fixed.

I am not sure how long it has been sense i finally gave up the full time drug lifestyle but it does get easier everyday. Not to say that i dont often think to myself hmmmm....perhaps it would be nice to snort a few lines of OC or smoke a lump of that tar goodness. I just know that i seldom do things half ways...its usually all or nothing so i know casual use will certainly lead to problems that i no longer want to deal with. All i can say for sure is that its been over 4 months and it has brought a lot of aspects of myself and life back into focus for the first time in a very very long time.

Its amazing to think about how the years fall alway like leaves in the fall. I struggle to really put together the fact that 14 years or so have passed sense that fateful night i first smoked a amazing lil gift from the earth called marijuana. Ever sense then i have pretty much dedicated my life to knowing all the drugs i could. I wanted to learn everything i could about them and there was so much to learn. I wanted to know ware they came from, how they are used, why they are used, who used them, who still uses them and hundreds of other questions. More importantly not only did i want to know, i wanted to experience fully.

After all the ups and downs because of this way of thinking i can take solace is the fact that it always was a quest for knowledge and there for worthy of a high price.

I took today off from work and i am skipping classes as well in order to stay home today and just slug the fuck out. The real reason i am writing this is because it just dawned on me that in all reality i have things pretty nice right now and i know more heartache lies in the future so i just wanted to write this all down and kinda bask in the glory of knowing that despite my faults, stupid mistakes and just bad luck things still turned out fine in the end.

I am sitting here in a nice chair in our way to large new home with my beautiful fiance Lain and my lil angel of a daughter Lillith smoking a J and just enjoying all that i have while pondering how i could be so lucky. Out of all the things i am thankful for having Lain is def the one i am most thankful for. She has been through a lot of heartache because of me but has always managed to stay true to herself and because of that make me the most lucky man on earth for being able to share our lives together. Basically i finally feel like i want to know about my family and experience the love and joy they provide instead of what drugs can.

Its time to spend the next 14 years being thankful for my family and never forgetting they are all i need. It certainly wont be easy to forget that thankfully :D

love u all.... ( well almost all :)) take care kids ]]> Jimmycube http://www.yahooka.com/blogs/jimmycube/276-tour.html http://www.yahooka.com/blogs/jimmycube/190-jimmycubes-official-guide-smoking-fentanyl-gel-form-only.html Sat, 09 Aug 2008 12:55:06 GMT Alright. I have been using Fentanyl via prescription for over a year now so i feel i am finally qualified to write a guide to smoking it. This guide is all from first hand experience with the drug. Not from reading erowid, bluelight, or hearing it from a friend, not from having used it heavily for a few weeks or from using it on and off for a year, but from using it non stop everyday for a long period of time myself. --------Things you will need. 1. Fentanyl *sandoz brand Gel patch... Alright. I have been using Fentanyl via prescription for over a year now so i feel i am finally qualified to write a guide to smoking it.
This guide is all from first hand experience with the drug. Not from reading erowid, bluelight, or hearing it from a friend, not from having
used it heavily for a few weeks or from using it on and off for a year, but from using it non stop everyday for a long period of time myself.

--------Things you will need.

1. Fentanyl *sandoz brand Gel patch only* 75mcg in this case. The drug its self

2. A gutted Pen tube. For easy inhalation of said drug

3. A credit card or drivers license. Used for squeezing out small amounts of gel and making sure u get every last bit of gel from the patch.

4. Tin foil. This will be what u will smoke the fentanyl off of. I prefer regular stength foil because it heats faster than the extra thick variety.

5. scotch tape. Used to reseal the patch after extracting some of the gel so the left over gel doesnt dry out.

6. Lighter. For heating of Fentanyl

---------Quick smoking guide.

1. using a scisor cut one of the corners of the patch off so u can squeeze out the gel a lil at a time. *be sure NOT to take the backing of the patch off because it will dry out*

2. Using a drivers license/credit card squeeze desired amount of fentanyl out of the patch and onto a piece of tinfoil

3. seal the patch back up using scotch tape.

4. apply heat to tinfoil directly below the fent.

5. Begin to enhale emediatly as u apply the flame. The fent will begin to bubble with in seconds. Inhale the intire time that the flame is applied.
when u are begining to run out of breath stop applying the lighter but keep inhaling. The foil will be hot enough to continue to cook the fent even
though u are no longer applying the heat. So be sure to keep enhaling even though no flame is is still being applied until u run out of breath.

6. Hold the smoke in as long as u possibly can. Remember u are not going to be getting massive hits of smoke like u would from say a bong. Its going to
be a very light smoke, u may not even see any at all at first. U will be able to taste it in your moulth though. It has a subtle sweet flavor.

7. exhale the smoke. Once again u may not even notice your exhaling much smoke at all. Continue to do steps 4-7 untill the fent turns completely black
and is obviously all used up.

----------Smoking tips.

1. Fent burns quickly. It will begin to release vapors/smoke almost as soon as the flame hits the bottom of the foil.

2. As already stated in the smoking guide *step 5* keep inhaling after u remove the flame because the foil will still be hot enough to continue to release smoke/vapor after the flame is off the foil.

3. If u apply the gel to the foil and then let it sit there for roughly 20 mins, the gel will begin to dry up slightly. If u allow this to happen the intire glob of fent will turn into one big puff of smoke literally with in seconds of heating. So u better start sucking hard before u apply any heat what so ever and be ready to get a bigger hit than normal. Some people like this method because it feels better to them inhaling a larger puff of smoke rather than the vapor which turns to smoke eventually after enough heat is applied. Either way, Fent will turn to smoke EXTREMELY fast so always be inhaling as soon as heat is applied.

4. Fent smoke is very light. If you are used to smoking bowls or even tar heroin it may feel like u missed the hit. If after your puff is over, lick your lips and such and u should be able to taste the fent in your mouth

5. Smoking fent takes practice believe it or not. Its very common for noobs to miss their hit because they were not sucking in their hit as soon as the lighter touches the foil. Beware of noobs when sharing.


----------Tricks to getting the most out of your fent.

1. Always use the same pen toob to inhale your fent through. After inhaling roughly 5 75mcg patches through the same tube (the more the better of course) u can add a very small amount of water to the tube and then use your fingers to cover both ends of the toob and shake it vigorously. I mean give it a realy good shaking for a solid 5 mins or so. Then poor out the remaining water on piece of foil. The water should come out looking kinda
yellowish with perhaps some lil pieces of fent stuck in it. Go ahead and smoke that and u should get a lil buzz. Its not gonna kick your ass but it will give u a nice lil buzz in a pinch.

2. fent patch tea- Always save your empty patches. If u are not wearing them at all..just strait up smoking them never take the backing off. Save up at least 10 75mcg patches. Get a glass of water and heat the water untill
its close to but NOT bubbling. Now, go ahead and remove the backing of the empty patches and add them to the hot water. Stir the water and patches up well, squishing the patches against the sides and bottom of the cup every one in awhile. Once the water gets kewl go ahead and warm it up to about steaming again. Never ever bring it to a boil. Give it a few more stirs and squishes and then let it sit for a good 6 hours to overnight. Give it one last stir and drink all the water down. After the water is drank u will notice that there still is some water in the patches. Put them in your mouth and suck on em till every last bit of liquid is out. The water will kinda have a slightly bitter flavor to it. I do this like clock work after i take a solid two weeks off from any opiate use what so ever. It will give u a nice warm soothing opiate buzz for a pretty long time. If u dont want to wait the two weeks u can use it to help ease opiate withdrawals too. Its no substitute for methadone though, it certainly does help how ever.

3. Save up all the pieces of tin foil u used to smoke your fent on. A lot of times while i am in a truly strong binge i will tend to forget lines or globs of fent i never smoked. Also, a lot of times u can re-heat a particularily large line or glob of fent and get some good stuff from it. Just heat the piss out of it and if u see like these tiny "little orange spark" type things sorta popping in the used up lines that is left over fent being converted to smoke that u missed the first time through. Sometimes the intire black used up line will turn orange and go away giving u a nice lil "left overs" hit.

4. If for some reason u are actually wearing your patches as prescribed *which i have just started to do after over a year of trying* and u want to get a buzz going with out smoking any. Apply a heating pad directly over your patch. It will increase the amount of drug released into your system. THis can also be very dangerous and possibly life threatening. If you have no tollerance, forget about it completely. U shouldnt be doing fent what so ever if your a complete opiate noob period.

-----------Dosage and tolerance.

This is a very very difficult question to answer and i dont really even feel comfortable making guesses when it comes to other peoples lives. It all depends on your weight and opiate tollerance. Two things to remember. Fentanyl is 80 times more potent than morphine and u can always take more but u cant untake too much.

I tried to show what i would consider a safe starter dose in the labeled pic but, thats a safe dose for me when my tollerance is at its lowest....it could differ vastly for you.

-----------Withdrawals and prices

Withdrawals from fentanyl are pretty severe like most other long lasting opiates. At my worst i was doing 10 75mcg patches in 5-7 days. I would have very bad withdrawals for 3-5 days. Severe muscle aches, deep depression and extreme lack of energy.

Prices are going to very a lot. I am the only person i know who has had Fentanyl Gel patches and the most i have sold a 75mcg patch for was $200. The person i sold it too was not a friend nor a enemy. Thats just the price he eventually offered and i took it.

As far as non-gel fentanyl patches...i see them often for sale and i would never pay more than half of these dose. example i would buy a 50mcg non-gel patch for $25. In all reality compared to the gel patches i think they are a slap in the face and i would much rather buy oxy.

-------------------------------------------------

I hope that helps somebody out there and if anybody has questions. I will try and answer them in this thread. If u would like to remain anonymous please feel free to pm me. NO I AM NOT SELLING MY PATCHES SO DONT BOTHER ASKING THAT.

____________________ ____________________ __________ ]]> Jimmycube http://www.yahooka.com/blogs/jimmycube/190-jimmycubes-official-guide-smoking-fentanyl-gel-form-only.html http://www.yahooka.com/blogs/jimmycube/188-mornings-torturesque.html Mon, 28 Jul 2008 01:34:10 GMT *this is the only blog i ever made so far....check it out please. I have a lot of stuff written that has the same vibe if anybody likes it. thanx for reading it! :) * after waking up bright and early with no place to go for the last several days/nights I have been presented with the opportunity to do a fair amount of internal evaluation. A truly unique type of evaluation mind you, do to the fact that when one is awoken from slumber at 4am the brain is still rising from the abyss of dreams... this is the only blog i ever made so far....check it out please. I have a lot of stuff written that has the same vibe if anybody likes it. thanx for reading it! :)


after waking up bright and early with no place to go for the last several days/nights I have been presented with the opportunity to do a fair amount of internal evaluation. A truly unique type of evaluation mind you, do to the fact that when one is awoken from slumber at 4am the brain is still rising from the abyss of dreams and has not yet been able to put up its ramparts and walls for the long grueling day of self-doubt and random but generous mental assaults from the general populace and various loved ones.

It is at this magical time before the red sun rises that one can attack ones self with full force. Truly holding nothing back, shredding through the memories of your mind to find that event..that truly life changing event, that made you the foul, wretched, husk of a person you now are. Now is the time! Shred the memories like a child decimates a gift on Christmas. No regard for the love and subtle craftsmanship in the wrapping. No regard for the way you tried to remember it, no regard for thousands of times you played it back in your mind trying to convince yourself there was nothing you could do, how it wasnt your fault. Just tear until you find that one gift that one memory that will make everything ok, put everything in order again and give yourself an excuse for what you are.

Currently I am up to my neck in the contrasting packaging of my memories both good and bad. Reflective silver paper that shines like a young childs eyes holds a memory of you opening your heart to a summer crush only to have it violently slammed shut with malice and glee. The traditional red and green wrapped box with a hallmark bow on top holds a memory of the time you knew the answer to the question in class but for some reason were to timid to open your mouth, to afraid to make yourself heard.

A plane black box, no bow, no frills, no ribbon, holds the memory of being on your back in the dirt, eyes full of tears, and your brother picking you off the ground and walking you and your bike back to your mother. The crumpled brown bag with your name scribbled in black marker on it sits in the middle of a room in your mind, it coddles the night when you kissed her and knew in that second that nothing would ever be as pure and true as that moment ever again.

It is at this magical time now as the purple sun sets that one can stop tearing and start connecting, for sleep is once again near and the mind is ready to descend back into the abyss of dreams. Bring all the fragments of hope, failure, love, jealousy and all hidden things in boxes on the endless shelves of your mind together for a final concrete answer.

After awakening and once again falling into slumber, repeating the cycle over and over again I have only come to two concrete answers and neither solved my discontent. Yet here they are for your own personal gain. Memories we dont like, the ones that have left scars and crushed dreams are the ones we take the most care to wrap beautifully and hide well. Memories we like and that keep us going need not bows, ribbons or shiny metallic paper for they shine brightly enough on there own and need no care or tending just acceptance.

I am glad my birthday and Christmas only come once a year. ]]> Jimmycube http://www.yahooka.com/blogs/jimmycube/188-mornings-torturesque.html