Drug Test Tomorrow

SmokeaJoint · 11-07-2010, 04:30 PM

So, I got me a job at Target in an entry level management position. Pretty exited as it will be nice to get money by legitimate means again. Anyways, I've got me a week clean so far, and I haven't been toking in excess for quite some time, just the odd one-hitter bowl every now and again. That said, I still have a bit of doubt as to how the drug test will turn out. A week isn't all that long, and since I've been on a sort of mini vacation at the beach since Friday, I haven't had alot of physical activity in that time to help the old metabolism rid my system of drug.

The test is gonna be a pisser (I think), prolly at some facility or another. I've been drinking plenty of water, perhaps 6 normal sized bottles between waking and lunch with another 3 or more till bed. Also, I've had me some alcohol in that three day time span, but i didn't get wasted or anything.

My question is, do ya think I have a low enough THC level in my system to pass, and will the booze negatively affect anything, or am I just worried for no reason at all? I've passed a piss test before with only a 5 day clean, and waaaay higher weed consumption that I've had for a while, but theres a chance it was a fluke n I got lucky. Thoughts? Suggestions?

myxomatosis · 11-07-2010, 04:36 PM

A week isn't much time at all. You're a big guy which likely doesn't help matters either. The alcohol isn't going to play much of a part but really wouldn't hurt, if anything it'd be help. Not too much to suggest or advice to give besides to either keep drinking a shitton of water and get moving. That or buy some spacepee from testclear.

**Kompressor** · 11-07-2010, 04:38 PM

The older you get, the less likely passing in 5 days is gonna be.

Booze would help had you been exercising, but storing more carbs and fats without refreshing your lipid profile is a detriment.

Unfortunately, the odds are stacked against you. Trying Capt Murphy's dilution method and/or urine substitute is probably your best bet.

~1~ · 11-07-2010, 04:43 PM

When in doubt, substi...

Uhhh, tout?

Anyway, you get what I'm sayin'? If no one has a watchful eye trained on the happy stick then give them a fine sample of store bought pee pee and let them play with your urine all they want while you go happily on your way without the added stress of having to hide the shit that relieves stress.

What a fucking catch 22 that is, yeah?

Good luck, hope it's a swab.

Xil · 11-07-2010, 06:21 PM

if your test is tommorow dont work out now. burning fat releases the THC, good for getting clean in the long run but in the day or two before the test its gonna spike your levels. you want to be storing, not burning before the test.

also if your worried about being too diluted (which can be grounds for failure or retake) i believe they test for that by creatine levels, so creatine pills should offset that (can someone confirm this?)

SmokeaJoint · 11-07-2010, 06:37 PM

Yeah I've heard creatine too. I got a cannister of it, maybe have some in a drink to boost levels as I flush? Good tip on the not exercising cuz it releases THC. I didn't think of that.

Sadly I have limited funds, which doesn't allow for me to buy fake piss or a detox kit. I'm thinking though, that if I have to do a retake on grounds of too much water that'd be fine. It would give me time to gather the funds to get a product. I read somewhere that a couple of drops of visine into the sample will produce a false negative, but I've never had that confirmed as true so prolly not gonna go that route.

Well, tomorrows the day, it'll either be fine or it won't. Like I said, my THC levels aren't too high at all due to my lessening of consumption. Hopefully its all good and I get the job. Any idea how long it will be for them to have the results? I've had a few pre employment drug tests before but I was never notified of the results because I passed.

'Preciate the info guys.

**Kompressor** · 11-07-2010, 06:53 PM

Creatine shrinks your intenstinal lining, meaning you'd produce more waste and increase you're metabolism. Again, it's not something to try a few days before your test because it'd make you flush your THC.

Urine tests look for metabolites. THC binds to these metabolites meaning they won't bind to the screening material, creating positive drug test results. You can buy at home drug tests from testclear or walgreens, $5 + shipping or $18-20 respectively.

Lab tests usually take 24-48 hours to get results, then another 24-48 to notify the employer. Most urine tests look for 50+ parts per million, but the more sensitive Gas Chromatography methods can be as low as 15 parts per million. GC is usually used for government positions however.

Good Luck.

~1~ · 11-07-2010, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmokeaJoint

Sadly I have limited funds, which doesn't allow for me to buy fake piss or a detox kit. I'm thinking though, that if I have to do a retake on grounds of too much water that'd be fine. It would give me time to gather the funds to get a product. I read somewhere that a couple of drops of visine into the sample will produce a false negative, but I've never had that confirmed as true so prolly not gonna go that route.

Fake urine in the liquid form has a shelf life of at least two years, at least the one I use. Powdered urine will last much longer but I think it's best to leave the chemistry to the chemists. When you get this job, buy a box just in case. In California if you are called to the lab for a random test, you have three hours to get to the lab for non DOT jobs (face it, if you were up for a DOT job you wouldn't be asking) so it's good to keep one on hand. Visine is pretty much salt water with such trace amounts of the stuff in it that it won't do shit unless you add an equal amount.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmokeaJoint

Well, tomorrows the day, it'll either be fine or it won't. Like I said, my THC levels aren't too high at all due to my lessening of consumption. Hopefully its all good and I get the job. Any idea how long it will be for them to have the results? I've had a few pre employment drug tests before but I was never notified of the results because I passed.

'Preciate the info guys.

Good luck on the test, like I said, hopefully you're looking at a swab, cheap on their end and hard to fuck up so they don't need a lab. Only 72 hours of worry there I think.

Results work like this:

Congratulations, you got the job. = passed.

*Crickets* = Better luck next time Sport-O.

Xil · 11-07-2010, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kompressor

Creatine shrinks your intenstinal lining, meaning you'd produce more waste and increase you're metabolism. Again, it's not something to try a few days before your test because it'd make you flush your THC.

Urine tests look for metabolites. THC binds to these metabolites meaning they won't bind to the screening material, creating positive drug test results. You can buy at home drug tests from testclear or walgreens, $5 + shipping or $18-20 respectively.

Lab tests usually take 24-48 hours to get results, then another 24-48 to notify the employer. Most urine tests look for 50+ parts per million, but the more sensitive Gas Chromatography methods can be as low as 15 parts per million. GC is usually used for government positions however.

Good Luck.

thanks for the tip, i had been planning on taking it to mask my levels.
also drug tests can be had from ebay for as cheap as $5 for five tests, free shipping. Walgreens is a fucking rip-off.

SmokeaJoint · 11-07-2010, 09:34 PM

Yeah a cheeck swab would be bomb but I unofficially got the job Friday, they wanted me to go in for the test but I was headed for the beach so they said I could postpone till tomorrow when they "officially" offer the job. That indicates to me that it'll likely be a pisser. Good tip on the creatine Komp.

Now, I can't recall where I heard this (either here or GC), but supposedly the testing labs only do about 50% of the samples received due to volume. Any truth to this? Cuz a 50% chance of not even being screened for real would certainly help my odds. After this is all over, I'm definitely getting some o that fake urine shit, just in case of randoms and the like. Wow, this really turned into "what not to do". Really great stuff yall, super helpful and thanks a ton!

ionlylooklazy · 11-07-2010, 09:47 PM

I thought the purpose of taking was creatine was to provide a surge of the by-product (of your muscles) creatinine to keep a sample from being flagged as diluted, when using the dilution technique

SmokeaJoint · 11-08-2010, 07:15 AM

Ok, today is the day. I go into the store at noon, prolly got an hour or so to get to the testing facility after that. Wish me luck yall!

~1~ · 11-08-2010, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmokeaJoint

Now, I can't recall where I heard this (either here or GC), but supposedly the testing labs only do about 50% of the samples received due to volume. Any truth to this? Cuz a 50% chance of not even being screened for real would certainly help my odds.

You go in, they have you pee in a cup, a lab assistant sticks a test strip into the cup and you chat for a few minutes while the test strip is uhhh, testing.

You're going for a middle management position at a department store, you aint haulin' nuclear waste, be nice to the lab assistants as they may be the key to passing a borderline test and being screened further.

Good luck!

zoltron · 11-08-2010, 12:05 PM

Another ridiculous "alcohol vs. weed" employment test. It just floors me that some boozer, who might be so hungover that their noggin is pounding, can take these employment tests & pass with flying-colors. Then they'll be calling in "too hungover/sick" twice a month...while the weed smoker wakes up in the morning feeling just fine, could be 1 of their better employees...but if any THC is detected in their system, show them the way out.

I'm so glad that when I worked, piss-testing was unheard of. I remember back in the 1980s when a new health insurance provider wanted all of the newspaper employees to piss-test. Our publisher told the dude to hit the door -- "What my employees do on their own time is their own business!! I refuse to make them do any testing & I'll just find another health insurance group!!"
He found another health insurance provider...that was 1 cool boss.

SmokeaJoint · 11-08-2010, 02:17 PM

Ok, now the wait for results. Sheesh, if I never have to piss in a cup for a job again it'll be too soon. On the subject of powdered/fake urine, how much is the usual going price?

~1~ · 11-08-2010, 02:57 PM

zolt: It's a money scam now, you have to provide workmans comp insurance, the provider of said policy gives discounts for knowing if your employees are liabilities. For some reason, any amount of THC in your system automatically means you're to addle brained and dim to keep from cutting your foot off at the foundry or you'll forget to set the parking brake on the truck up the hill from the school yard when in all actuality, the fools who did do that shit tested clean. 'InsureCorp, give us your money and stay in your box.' Someone needs to go back in time to the first guy who came up with the idea of insurance and punch that greedy fucker right in the damned mouth.

SaJ: I use a competitors urine, sorry testclear but I can only find you mail order and I have this odd aversion to shopping online unless I absolutely have to, it runs about $30 and is enough for two tests at the cut off or one test with a little extra for good looks? Comes with a sealed bottle of pee pee, a small oval squeeze bottle, a hand warmer packet, a thermal strip and a rubber band. I put on two pairs of skivvies, tucked the bottle in that little pocket in your crotch where the flaps come together in the pair of BVD's closest to your skin. Temp is key, within range is a must and the longer it's close to your body the closer to your body temp it'll be, everything else is pie.

SmokeaJoint · 11-08-2010, 03:10 PM

Damn, $30 is a bit higher than I was hoping. I think I saw some powdered urine at my local headshop, but I can't recall the price. Just a question, but is it possible to substitute a female's piss if its clean? Or is there some chemical difference between male n female urine?

~1~ · 11-08-2010, 07:00 PM

you may have higher hormone levels depending on what tie of the month it is, make sure she isn't pregnant and it'll probably okay but man, that's somebody's pee.

SmokeaJoint · 11-08-2010, 08:00 PM

I can see it now! "Well sir, you passed your drug test, but the odd thing is, you're pregnant."

See, this is why I need yall YaHookans. To assist me in NOT making totally stupid decisions.

profit · 11-10-2010, 10:01 AM

ziplock. pocket (warmth). timely needle, bit of pressure, keep it nuts close and aim in the cup.

do not overfill the ziplock. i recommend the real thing. buying powdered piss at a head shop seems a bit much and plus it may just be crystal light.

11-07-2010, 04:36 PM	#2 (permalink)
myxomatosis life is music Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: between a pair of headphones Posts: 3,917 Thanks: 1,024 Thanked 933 Times in 597 Posts	A week isn't much time at all. You're a big guy which likely doesn't help matters either. The alcohol isn't going to play much of a part but really wouldn't hurt, if anything it'd be help. Not too much to suggest or advice to give besides to either keep drinking a shitton of water and get moving. That or buy some spacepee from testclear. __________________ oh sometimes the blues is just a passing bird and why can't that always be tossing aside from your birches crown just enough dark to see how you're the light over me last.fm blog deal (updated 12/22/11)

11-07-2010, 04:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
Kompressor Voice of Reason Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Illinois Posts: 8,356 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3,063 Times in 1,633 Posts	The older you get, the less likely passing in 5 days is gonna be. Booze would help had you been exercising, but storing more carbs and fats without refreshing your lipid profile is a detriment. Unfortunately, the odds are stacked against you. Trying Capt Murphy's dilution method and/or urine substitute is probably your best bet. __________________ Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought. -H. Bergson

11-07-2010, 04:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
~1~ Successful Failure Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: where 'they' can't see. Posts: 10,925 Thanks: 466 Thanked 1,581 Times in 925 Posts	When in doubt, substi... Uhhh, tout? Anyway, you get what I'm sayin'? If no one has a watchful eye trained on the happy stick then give them a fine sample of store bought pee pee and let them play with your urine all they want while you go happily on your way without the added stress of having to hide the shit that relieves stress. What a fucking catch 22 that is, yeah? Good luck, hope it's a swab. __________________ "And those who are successful, be always on your guard. Success walks hand in hand with failure, along Hollywood Boulevard" Ray Davies --------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------- Click Here Asshole

11-07-2010, 06:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
Xil OD'ing on sobriety Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Mizzura Posts: 3,334 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 1,035 Thanked 1,158 Times in 717 Posts	if your test is tommorow dont work out now. burning fat releases the THC, good for getting clean in the long run but in the day or two before the test its gonna spike your levels. you want to be storing, not burning before the test. also if your worried about being too diluted (which can be grounds for failure or retake) i believe they test for that by creatine levels, so creatine pills should offset that (can someone confirm this?) __________________ "we'll show these fascists what a couple of hillbillies can do"

11-07-2010, 06:53 PM	#7 (permalink)
Kompressor Voice of Reason Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Illinois Posts: 8,356 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3,063 Times in 1,633 Posts	Creatine shrinks your intenstinal lining, meaning you'd produce more waste and increase you're metabolism. Again, it's not something to try a few days before your test because it'd make you flush your THC. Urine tests look for metabolites. THC binds to these metabolites meaning they won't bind to the screening material, creating positive drug test results. You can buy at home drug tests from testclear or walgreens, $5 + shipping or $18-20 respectively. Lab tests usually take 24-48 hours to get results, then another 24-48 to notify the employer. Most urine tests look for 50+ parts per million, but the more sensitive Gas Chromatography methods can be as low as 15 parts per million. GC is usually used for government positions however. Good Luck. __________________ Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought. -H. Bergson

11-07-2010, 09:47 PM	#11 (permalink)
ionlylooklazy no left turn unstoned Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: washington Posts: 4,045 Thanks: 56 Thanked 558 Times in 292 Posts	I thought the purpose of taking was creatine was to provide a surge of the by-product (of your muscles) creatinine to keep a sample from being flagged as diluted, when using the dilution technique

11-08-2010, 12:05 PM	#14 (permalink)
zoltron Yankee Rebel Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: left right here Posts: 6,236 Thanks: 637 Thanked 940 Times in 499 Posts	Another ridiculous "alcohol vs. weed" employment test. It just floors me that some boozer, who might be so hungover that their noggin is pounding, can take these employment tests & pass with flying-colors. Then they'll be calling in "too hungover/sick" twice a month...while the weed smoker wakes up in the morning feeling just fine, could be 1 of their better employees...but if any THC is detected in their system, show them the way out. I'm so glad that when I worked, piss-testing was unheard of. I remember back in the 1980s when a new health insurance provider wanted all of the newspaper employees to piss-test. Our publisher told the dude to hit the door -- "What my employees do on their own time is their own business!! I refuse to make them do any testing & I'll just find another health insurance group!!" He found another health insurance provider...that was 1 cool boss. __________________ Politicians against Legalization support Organized Crime

11-08-2010, 02:57 PM	#16 (permalink)
~1~ Successful Failure Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: where 'they' can't see. Posts: 10,925 Thanks: 466 Thanked 1,581 Times in 925 Posts	zolt: It's a money scam now, you have to provide workmans comp insurance, the provider of said policy gives discounts for knowing if your employees are liabilities. For some reason, any amount of THC in your system automatically means you're to addle brained and dim to keep from cutting your foot off at the foundry or you'll forget to set the parking brake on the truck up the hill from the school yard when in all actuality, the fools who did do that shit tested clean. 'InsureCorp, give us your money and stay in your box.' Someone needs to go back in time to the first guy who came up with the idea of insurance and punch that greedy fucker right in the damned mouth. SaJ: I use a competitors urine, sorry testclear but I can only find you mail order and I have this odd aversion to shopping online unless I absolutely have to, it runs about $30 and is enough for two tests at the cut off or one test with a little extra for good looks? Comes with a sealed bottle of pee pee, a small oval squeeze bottle, a hand warmer packet, a thermal strip and a rubber band. I put on two pairs of skivvies, tucked the bottle in that little pocket in your crotch where the flaps come together in the pair of BVD's closest to your skin. Temp is key, within range is a must and the longer it's close to your body the closer to your body temp it'll be, everything else is pie. __________________ "And those who are successful, be always on your guard. Success walks hand in hand with failure, along Hollywood Boulevard" Ray Davies --------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------- Click Here Asshole

11-08-2010, 07:00 PM	#18 (permalink)
~1~ Successful Failure Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: where 'they' can't see. Posts: 10,925 Thanks: 466 Thanked 1,581 Times in 925 Posts	you may have higher hormone levels depending on what tie of the month it is, make sure she isn't pregnant and it'll probably okay but man, that's somebody's pee. __________________ "And those who are successful, be always on your guard. Success walks hand in hand with failure, along Hollywood Boulevard" Ray Davies --------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------- Click Here Asshole

11-10-2010, 10:01 AM	#20 (permalink)
profit restore the republic Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 1,255 Thanks: 818 Thanked 357 Times in 237 Posts	ziplock. pocket (warmth). timely needle, bit of pressure, keep it nuts close and aim in the cup. do not overfill the ziplock. i recommend the real thing. buying powdered piss at a head shop seems a bit much and plus it may just be crystal light. __________________ Cowardice asks the question - is it safe? Expediency asks the question - is it politic? Vanity asks the question - is it popular? But conscience asks the question - is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular; but one must take it because it is right. - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. follow https://twitter.com/#!/curtiswm - sub http://www.youtube.com/user/66sicksfishstix

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