xorgone

So, I got my first job somewhere, and I have a drug test coming up. I smoke 4 times a week, and at least 2 grams per sitting.

How should I beat the test? I have to do a physical too, so, few questions:

Which will be first? The drug test or the physical? Is the physical like, all out? to a point where they'd see something strapped to my leg?

if the drug test is first, I can just use a balloon, then hide it in my gooch, but that won't work if the physical is first.

Are there any other ways? Thanks, I really need help. 17, been looking for a job for like 10+ months, and my parents are already planning on going out and buying my uniform for me..
Can't exactly fail the drug test.

Mercury

Stop smoking immediately and no less than 72 hours before your test. Get something like this from your local headshop or online and swallow it with gallons of water over the course of a couple days. Make sure your piss isn't dilluted right before you take the test by taking some vitmain B12 pills (or some shit).




Or if you want to deal with a balloon taped to your thigh and filled with piss then good luck to you.

__________________

xorgone

I found a small travel sized hand sanitizer bottle that fits to my leg perfectly. It holds 2 ounces, is that enough?

fenderbender

lol just stop smoking for a week. You can start again after the test.


drink a shit ton of water and work out like crazy all week and take some detox thing and hopefully you'll be ok.

idk anything about smuggling piss though so i cant help you with that. And this isnt out of experience but id assume the physical would come first, and theyd ask you to pee in a cup on the way out or something. so idk, goodluck with that.

Maybe if you go in there acting like you really have to pee right away they might let you get it done lol. idk.

If you've been looking for a job for over a year though i reckon it is worth cleaning up for just a weeks time or so.

__________________
Imagine there's no heaven,It's easy if you try

<3

fenderbender

also two grams per sitting? wtf


even with the midz we get around here, that would be enough to put me into space and ive been smoking everyday for like 5 years...

not to mention that's like 40 bucks in a sitting lol.

crazy

__________________
Imagine there's no heaven,It's easy if you try

<3

deadhead94

move to canada, the vast majority of jobs don't test. I can't even really think of any that do

__________________

Mercury

^really? I think it's actually probably a lot less than half of the jobs in the US actually drug test, but probably about 85% of employers do vaguley threaten to drug test.

__________________

Roach

no, most do now.

And a large number (maybe half) do backround checks (all the employment agencies require them)

__________________

לזיין את הקופים

BladderPig

Most likely you will be able to provide a urine sample first.

I am going to assume this is a non-observed urine drug test.

You don’t say when your last use or when the test is going happen. I am concerned that with your regular THC use, and a short time before the test, that dilution would not be effective.

Unless you have at least a week to 10 days before your test (or the test is observed), I think your best bet is going to substation.

I recommend about 60 ml of substitute urine in a flexible container (like a large balloon or condom). Keep it tucked in your groin (you will have to keep it warm). Provide the sample. Put the empty container in your pocket. Dispose of it in the exam room if you get a chance.

Practice doing this with water before the test.

Don’t keep the sample in your pocket before the test (you will have to empty your pockets).

You will not be able to dispose of the container in the bathroom (there should be no wastebasket and your will not be able flush the toilet).

After the test, don’t hide the container in your groin (it may be found during a hernia check) or socks (it may be found during a lower extremity exam).

Jester4yall

Hey congrats on your 1st job man!

__________________

In matters of style, swim with the current; In matters of principle, stand like a rock. -Thomas Jefferson

You will encounter many distractions and many temptations to put your goal aside: The security of a job, a wife who wants kids, whatever. But if you hang in there, always following your vision, I have no doubt you will succeed. - Larry Flynt

Mercury

yeah in all seriousness you may have to shove the container up your butt

__________________

~1~

Yup, turns out you get looked at much less if you are seeking employment in a career that pays six figures than if you're just trying to feed your family.



Haven't figured out the correlation just yet but I'm sure it has to do with keeping the poor miserable and in their place.

__________________

mariematt

If you want to pass the test, first of all stop smoking.

As you are a frequently Smoker of drugs then at urine drug test
Drugs by-product: 14 days- 30days after smoking.

Thus try to avoid urine test at least for 14 days or else you will be caught.

xorgone

Sweet, thanks! And, my last time was 3 days ago. I smoke all the time. Thank you for all the advice! Test will be tomorrow after school. How long does it take for the urine to cool down? I am going to drive my friend to starbucks, and fill my container there, and then double brief the container in my groin. How long do I have until it dips below 90? Also, if I use a condom, should I tie it off? If so, how do I untie it then? Do I bring a pin, or, the much grosser option, bite the tip?

fenderbender

lol you continued to smoke after making this thread about a week ago.


about a week ago = enough time to clean out your system...


yet here you are being sober for three days anyway and now ready to bite the tip of a piss filled condom.

you must really like weed...

__________________
Imagine there's no heaven,It's easy if you try

<3

mariematt

xorgone- when you have the urine drug test??

mariematt

If its already conducted then we are anxious to know the result of it.

Jester4yall

another "will I pass" passer thru?

__________________

In matters of style, swim with the current; In matters of principle, stand like a rock. -Thomas Jefferson

You will encounter many distractions and many temptations to put your goal aside: The security of a job, a wife who wants kids, whatever. But if you hang in there, always following your vision, I have no doubt you will succeed. - Larry Flynt

BladderPig

The urine temperature will drop below 90 degrees unless you do something to keep it up.

If the container has direct skin contact in the groin and is insulted with double briefs, that should work.


As for how to best open a urine filled condom, your guess is as good as mine:

I certainly recommend practice before the actual test.

Given their designed uses, condoms should be somewhat tooth resistant.

Jester4yall

but they can tear easy.. u knoooow

__________________

In matters of style, swim with the current; In matters of principle, stand like a rock. -Thomas Jefferson

You will encounter many distractions and many temptations to put your goal aside: The security of a job, a wife who wants kids, whatever. But if you hang in there, always following your vision, I have no doubt you will succeed. - Larry Flynt