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Old 04-15-2012, 11:18 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Test in 7 hours !!

Alright pass or fail? I want opinions based on my situation please..

My day today - Time now 2:18am

I'm on probation and I have passed my drug tests so far because i haven't smoked.

At about 3:00pm I went to a friends house and smoked a bowl.

Smoked again at 4:30pm, and then once more at 7:30pm

About now i realized i have a probation appointment at 9:30am

I get home at 8:00pm and eat dinner (Beef Brisket, Baked Beans, Also some Hawaiian Sweet bread) Oh and a Monster Energy Drink.

After i finished eating at around 9:00pm I started drinking a lot of water. I took Aspirin, Closed my windows and Started to jack off.. Now sweating.. i continue to drink more water, Ate a slice of Whole Grain bread and a Carrot

PS. like i said i haven't smoked in a while i know good weed and then i know GREAT WEED.. Maybe it was the bowl, but i didn't get very high compared to some instances. And the smoke was very "thin" i guess.

As i Finnish typing this, still sweating like "drenched" armpits. and drinking water. Will change cloth and shower up at about 6:30..

Also i was reading about Gelatine and how it may coat your liver and bladder.

Apparently Knox Unflavored Gelatine is fail proof.. But i'd like some more recent Success stories behind this..
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Old 04-15-2012, 11:28 PM   #2 (permalink)
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im loling so hard right now


dude
1. you are totally screwed.
2.
Quote:
"I took Aspirin, Closed my windows and Started to jack off.. Now sweating.. i continue to drink more water, Ate a slice of Whole Grain bread and a Carrot.

As i Finnish typing this, still sweating like "drenched" armpits. and drinking water. Will change cloth and shower up at about 6:30..
one of the funnier things ive read. ever




if only a quick fap was all that is needed lol
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Old 04-15-2012, 11:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
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if its a piss test, i recomend drinking as much gatorade as possible between now and the test. the more times you can piss before the test the better your chance of passing, but you dont want to drink just water, because your urine will be dilute and thats criteria that usually means failure.

smoking within 24 hours of the test is not a great idea, but if you pee many times before the test and drink gatorade, youll increase your odds of passing
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Old 04-15-2012, 11:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
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@ Fenderbender DUDE i'm serious its not a joke man.. BTW it's prolly going to be one of those dipper test but hey, how about that dilution or Gelatine? Seriously
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Old 04-15-2012, 11:34 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I'm at a DJJ and they are mostly sloppy, and test right there in front of you.. As in test your pee with Multiple sticks that change color if you fail
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:10 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Fender wasn't being as flippant as you may think.

72 hours is more a bare minimum than an average cleansing time.

So there is a very good chance of failing the test, even with the "studying" you've done thus far.

Many variables , too many in fact to give you a definite pass/fail answer.

kind bud/schwag
short and skinny marathon runner/tall and fat W.O.W. god...(couch potato)
pure white hits/(never actually inhaled)
wall mart piss in a cup test/gas spectrometer
doctor/civil service employee/someone who really could care less.

Welcome to YaHooka.
Hope you pass.
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:21 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Has anyone heard of drinking 2-3 table spoons of Unflavored Gelatine 1-2.5 hours before the test. I've done a lot of reading on this and most people say it works.. Reson being is i have some Knox Gelatine in my house surprisingly and was wondering if i should intake about 2 or 3 table spoons with some water unrinate, and head off for the PO but

1. He may not even test me
2. He tests right then and there, and gives you the result immediately
3. I will say i can't go because i have anxiety (happens every time even if I'm legitimately clean it most always comes out clear and I've never been asked about it.) Drink more then keep trying. (again happens every time even though i know i'm clean..)
4. Will only fill at mid stream
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:26 AM   #8 (permalink)
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you should be safe bro you had a slice of whole grain bread and a carrot, that shit will never fail you. jerk yourself off til your cocks raw though just incase.
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:57 AM   #9 (permalink)
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5 hours to go and pee is offically coming out clean as water, this is a good sign, as they don't care how diluted it is..
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Old 04-16-2012, 01:08 AM   #10 (permalink)
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lol
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Old 04-16-2012, 01:10 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Old 04-16-2012, 06:58 AM   #12 (permalink)
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this thread is amazing.
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Old 04-16-2012, 07:02 AM   #13 (permalink)
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It's a little ridiculous, but lets take it a liiiiiiiittle more seriously if we can.
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Old 04-16-2012, 07:59 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Good luck man, and the geleten thing I've always heard about is called certo, it's used for making jams and whatnot, its liquid and you mix it with Gatorade or juice and drink it quick cuz it tastes shitty
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Old 04-16-2012, 08:07 AM   #15 (permalink)
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You're fucked.

But on the upside, this made my day.
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I Just looked up MSF. I that looks like a great cause. Do they have any ties with Doctors without Borders?
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Old 04-16-2012, 08:10 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Wallowing in another woes isn't what this forum is about
Yes, this is a lively post for us in here,
But again.... lets make sure we're addressing things a little more seriously in here,
As this is someone's life we're talking about here.
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Old 04-16-2012, 08:19 AM   #17 (permalink)
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well then my serious reply would be:

I think you will Fail.

smoking a day before a probation hearing is a pretty hard thing to recover from. The sweating/jerking off/whole wheat bread(??) thing is pointless.

the "highness" you may or may not have gotten has nothing to do with the amount of drugs actually in your system...sensation has to do with the actual makeup of the specific strain, etc etc.

Outside of trying to cheat on the test with someone else's urine, the only advice I can give you is to drink a lot of gatorade/water and pray. The gelatin thing I have never heard of before, but it sounds ridiculous.

I'm not HOPING for you to fail, but since you asked....I think you will almost assuredly will. Good luck.
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Old 04-16-2012, 08:20 AM   #18 (permalink)
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also just realized all further posts are moot as his test has already happened.
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Old 04-16-2012, 08:27 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Wallowing in another woes isn't what this forum is about
Yes, this is a lively post for us in here,
But again.... lets make sure we're addressing things a little more seriously in here,
As this is someone's life we're talking about here.

It isn't my fault he's an idiot.

If I did something that stupid, I would fully expect the same treatment.

But I don't do that, so you're out of luck.
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I Just looked up MSF. I that looks like a great cause. Do they have any ties with Doctors without Borders?
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Old 04-16-2012, 08:29 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
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If I did something that stupid, I would fully expect the same treatment.

But I don't do that, so you're out of luck.
What makes you think you haven't?

Stupid people don't learn by being talked to like idiots.
Surely you're intelligent enough to realize that.
If you can't participate nicely you can lose your privilege to post in this forum,
Wouldn't we be in luck then?
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