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-   -   how to pass a urine test (http://www.yahooka.com/drug-testing/61270-how-pass-urine-test.html)

Capt. Murphy 03-08-2004 02:17 PM

how to pass a urine test
 
since i'm sick of seeing people asking this question about urine testing, i'm copying this from a previous post i made awhile ago... if a mod would make this sticky it would probably save a lot of repeated posts...

when testing UAs they detect a metabolite which is basically what your body produces while a substance is travelling around your bloodstream. the minimum amount to be considered a positive test is when it is 50+ parts per million. diluting your piss means that in the sample there will be more water and less metabolites. if a test however is too diluted ( i.e. all water no other natural waste material that your kidneys filtered out from your bloodstream ) most will count it as a positive, or at the very least make you retake the test.

in order to get around this, instead of just drinking all water, drink about 33% water and 66% gatoraide. don't take any b vitamins... they don't do shit for your urine gravity except make your piss turn a bright neon yellow... when they see that they will know you were trying to get around it. the day before your test eat a light breakfast and an early lunch, and drink a large glass of water. the next day, try not to eat anything, but if you are really hungry just eat a little something at least 3 hours before your test. about four hours before your test drink like three-four gatoraides (16 oz bottles) and one-two glasses (16 oz = one glass) of water.

when you are taking the test, first piss in the toilet for a couple of seconds, fill the cup, then finish pissing in the toilet. most of the waste material is in the very first stream of piss, and the last little bit. if by chance you actually did dilute the piss too much, just tell them that you run/play sports a lot and easily get dehydrated... drinking that much fluid is normal for you.

again, let me reiterate; THERE IS NO PILL/DRINK/CHANT/ADDITIVE THAT WILL MAGICALLY MAKE YOU PASS A DRUG TEST. ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES LIQUIDS LIKE WATER AND GATORAIDE ARE A WASTE OF YOUR MONEY.

hope this helps.

--------------------


something else i have posted numerous times that belongs here is how long it takes for the traces of pot to be filtered out of your system...

now, everytime you smoke you flood your system with THC... which is then transferred to your brain via the blood stream, then back down to the kidneys where the traces are filtered out... now, your kidneys can only filter out a certain amount at a time, so the more you smoke, the longer it is going to take to get it out of your system.

now, only you know how many times you've smoked in the past couple of weeks, so only you can estimate how much shit is still floating around your system...

the general rule of thumb, is if you are totally clean, and smoke a bowl, then it will take about 24-48 hours for your system to be totally clean again.

now, if you're smoking all day everyday, then it is going to take about 30 days (720 hours) for your system to be totally clean.

now for how clean you need to be in order to pass a drug test, i can only attest to what worked for me...

since i was being tested about once a month, i would smoke for two weeks right after i went in... now this is probably about 3-4 bowls a day...

then for about a week and a half - two weeks before my next test, i would not smoke... then when i go in for my test, i dilute my piss using my method above...

----------------------------------

10-08-07
UPDATE BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE CAN'T FUCKING READ APPARENTLY

-----------------------------------

you people are so fucking stupid

no, the suregel doesn't do a goddamn thing except make you spend money and look like a jackass on the internet. THE KEY IS THE WATER RETARDS.

also, if you start popping vitamin B and your piss is neon yellow, they will obviously know that you are up to something. YOU DON'T NEED TO TAKE ANY PILLS, INCLUDING VITAMINS.

if you're stupid enough to drink bleach, i sincerely hope you die, or at the very least become sterile so your genes won't further pollute the pool.

and please, don't drink "gallons upon gallons upon gallons" because you can die. if you chose to do so, please see above.

IF YOU DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN JUST DRINKING ENOUGH LIQUID TO DILUTE YOUR PISS, THEY WILL SUSPECT SOMETHING AND MAKE YOU DO ANOTHER ONE AND SPECIFICALLY TELL YOU NOT TO DRINK SO MUCH FUCKING WATER.

on the other hand, if you just drink a lot of liquids and they say boo, just tell them that you're on the cross country team and have to drink a lot of water, or if you don't drink enough water you get crippling headaches. i dunno, make something up that is at least plausible.

goddamn

Buzz 03-13-2004 11:56 PM

what about tea
 
What about the tea that comes with pills that you have to drink a gallon of an hour befor you take a pisstest? Would a gallon of tap watter and your own pills do the same thing? :eek:

Ellis D. 06-23-2004 01:01 AM

*works* and a bump.


I also, for marijuana at a minimum, like to add a 48 hour rule on top of this, as I know when my tests are scheduled, and my use is relatively infrequent.


Surprisingly, today I even passed for amphetamines, to which I am prescribed. However, my piss was water clear, the testers will know something is up, expect them to comment.

Good post jesuit.

tangledupinweed 07-16-2004 01:55 PM

Perverts!!

Heres how to get around it..get someone else to urinate into something that can be attacted beneath the scrotum..i suppose it depends on how closely they watch your penis but with practice you should be able to squeeze ya balls (including the said attacted) and get some sort of flow going.
It does help if the person donating the urine is not pregnant other wise youre on a winner ;)

JSBJ 02-04-2005 09:33 AM

I plan on looking for a job around late May or early June

If I want to naturally let my body cleanse itself, how long would that take?

x263 02-04-2005 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JSBJ
I plan on looking for a job around late May or early June

If I want to naturally let my body cleanse itself, how long would that take?

if you quit for a month, you will have nothing to worry about.

GEARBANGER 02-05-2005 09:23 AM

What about niacin?

..gzagenius 02-10-2005 04:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GEARBANGER
What about niacin?


what about it?? i suggest the search options, trust me , ive read every thread in this forum, yes the whole 30 some odd pages...and its been covered many times

Bud Head 03-16-2005 07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellis D.
*works* and a bump.


I also, for marijuana at a minimum, like to add a 48 hour rule on top of this, as I know when my tests are scheduled, and my use is relatively infrequent.


Surprisingly, today I even passed for amphetamines, to which I am prescribed. However, my piss was water clear, the testers will know something is up, expect them to comment.

Good post jesuit.

I'll add some help to this... Just before you go for a test, drink some kind of cola. This will help in putting color back into your piss..

Excellent thread and post..

UserName1 04-19-2005 02:11 PM

does bleach work for at home urine tests? any info on bleach would be appreciated...cuz i wanna start :bigjoint: soon w/o worrying about passing these silly things.

..gzagenius 04-19-2005 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UserName1
does bleach work for at home urine tests? any info on bleach would be appreciated...cuz i wanna start :bigjoint: soon w/o worrying about passing these silly things.



.

http://www.yahooka.com/forum/search.php?searchid=386712

poopinastick 04-21-2005 10:51 PM

piss warming
 
ok so i passed a drug test but i think it was luck, dunno why but i think so cause i prayed to god. so i was thinkin i can get my straight edged friend to piss in a bottle and i can keep it next drug test so i was just wondering if i can just make it warm by puttin a lil bit of warm water in. i dont think my parents would see if its doluted they dont kno shita bou this. so yea. would it work? or would the test see its doluted? lol and yea im paranoid cause if i fail they will send me to millitary school.

txgreen 04-26-2005 11:58 AM

What do ya think???
 
Okay, only smoked 2x's in a month the last time bout 2 wks ago at least, but I did some meth like 48 hrs ago and I take a test in about 2 hours! GOt the omni shit and been drinking plenty of water but I heard there's no covering meth?????? I'm a little worried cause I REALLY need this job. I got a home test just to be sure b4 I go. If that comes out good, is it a sure thing their's will? I'm bout 200 lbs and thought bout telling them i'm dieting...drinking lots of water and taking diet pills? PLEASE let me know what ya think???!!!

..gzagenius 04-26-2005 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by txgreen
Okay, only smoked 2x's in a month the last time bout 2 wks ago at least, but I did some meth like 48 hrs ago and I take a test in about 2 hours! GOt the omni shit and been drinking plenty of water but I heard there's no covering meth?????? I'm a little worried cause I REALLY need this job. I got a home test just to be sure b4 I go. If that comes out good, is it a sure thing their's will? I'm bout 200 lbs and thought bout telling them i'm dieting...drinking lots of water and taking diet pills? PLEASE let me know what ya think???!!!


meth sposedly gets out in 72 hours...so with a good dilution id go so far as to say your safe, but



they could pop you for too diluted

abcd 04-28-2005 03:04 PM

if you quit smoking weed for 2 weeks, is that enough time to have your system clean?

somedays I don't smoke, some I do, and if I do it's a bowl or 2 in the afternoon depending on if it's regular weed or not and if I have time, a bowl or 2 at night from a bong. sometimes it's hydro.

and in your post which size gatorade bottles are you talking about? those 16 oz.? how about if you drink a gallon of gatorade would that work or too much? it would be cheaper to get the gallon bottle than 3 or 4 individual bottles.

also, i'm thinking of having myself tested at one of these local drug testing centers here before my actual test so i'll know if I'm clean or if i'm detoxing myself correctly, but do they check to see if you're on probation or anything like that? reason is, the first place I talked to she was asking "what do you want to test", "it's $35 for 1" and "$75 for more than 1", and then I asked how much for a "5-panel" and she started asking, "what is this for?", I just told her it was for myself, and she asked same thing a couple times and said, "this isn't for probation or anything like that is it?", I said, no it's just for me and she said ok. but I think i'm going to try a different place, and not mention anything about a 5 panel test i'll just tell them I need to test myself for everything my parents require it for me if I want to stay at their home. only problem I'm wondering is that if they run drivers license and do a background check they can find out if i'm on probation.

so I was thinking of trying one of these home tests at: www.meditests.com
a 5-panel only costs about $5.00 but are these home tests accurate?

and on drug-testing subject I've heard drinking lotsa iced tea on days before your tests is good too, because tea/coffee has some kind of durative (don't remember exact name) that makes you piss more than usual.

Also heard that you should be eating meat or taking creatine, one of the ways they also find out if your piss is too diluted from water is not just visually, drinking lotsa water lowers your creatine levels and they check for that. I'm guessing the gatorade might take care of that since I wouldn't be drinking lotsa water, and gatorade probably has all kinds of vitamins.

i have to say i haven't tried the above methods just read about them on the net

triggerhappy42 05-20-2005 10:12 PM

i just read on erowid that after prolonged habitual use thc can be detected in the wizz after up to 12 weeks, is this shit true?!?!?!

Hooter 05-21-2005 02:36 PM

someone said something about bleach . . . my b/f tried it awhile back and it worked for him, but it makes you hella sick. and water tastes funny for a long time afterwards. he did it about a week before his test, no idea how close to the time of the test you can come though.

i just drank a ton of water and soda for about 4 hours before the test, i was pissing like crazy, but my test came out negative.

superstoner420 06-06-2005 07:42 PM

I drank bleach one tiome in order to pass a test one time. Too bad it didn't work. I drank the bleach four hours before the test. Nedless to say I got sick and everything tasted like bleach. its sucked ball and I will never drink bleach again.

DankMoFo 06-06-2005 07:57 PM

Ive looked everywhere for SURE GEl and i havent found any forums about it. I heard some mixed reviews on sure gel and i was wondering if anybody knew some facts about it. Not stories of a friend of a friend who passed their test. Because i heard a lot of people in the military use this method and i need to pass a test for work.

Also, is it true if you use sure gel a few hours before your test they will know your piss has been to diluted.

Comment back.

deftonesdea 06-12-2005 12:27 PM

test in 2 days
 
im going to try this method, its sunday, and i smoked yesterday....so...su n, mon, and most of tues i will be clean (tues at 5 pm is my test) i will try this method and HOPE it worx...if not... i need to practice not dropping the soap..i will let u all know what happens


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