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bumfighterBFK · 07-10-2006, 11:29 AM

I have a drug test to take within the next couple of days, and I am a HEAVY smoker. First off, lemme say that my dad works in corrections (looking after inmates in jails) and he is a certified drug tester. Not only does he work the small little test strips you dip into a cup of piss(much like the home testing kits that you can buy), but he is also certified to use and uses the official machine that they use to test to make sure it is not a false positive (mass spechtromy or something like that, I can't spell it...). He told me that there is NO chance to contest a positive result from this machine to ANY court. So, he is quite quallified and KNOWS what he is talking about.

Ok, so this is what my dad has told me to do about my upcoming test, and also what he has told my brother to do to pass his test(which he did in fact pass). He told me you simply have to drink ALOT of water, and when I say alot, he EMPHASIZED ALLLOOOOTTTT. He told me obviously to stop smoking right away, and to start drinking HEAVILY to help flush out your system. The day BEFORE the test you need to drink LOTS of water, he told me you gotta drink until you're gonna puke. You should be drinking/pissing ALL DAY, ALL LONG, NON-STOP. Gallons upon gallons upon gallons is what he told me to do. There is no such thing as too much water. Before you go to sleep the night before your test, slam a gallon jug of water or some large amount to make sure you're gonna wake up in the middle of the night to take another piss, and when you go to take that piss, slam another jug of water before you go to sleep again. When you wake up the next morning, start your water chugging again, and do not eat ANYTHING until after the test. If you're starving and hurting from hunger pains, deal with it, the cramping will pass away. You really want your piss to be as diluted as possible. You ideally would want to take at least a full 6 pisses before you go to take the test on test day, so if your test is in the morning, wake up early enough to piss that much before the test time comes.

So, the key is to flush your system and dilute your piss as much as possible. Again, there is no such thing as drinking too much water, drink until you think you are gonna puke. When you go to take the test, chances are you are gonna have a full bladder to unload. You need to piss the first stream in the toilet, because that will be your dirtiest urine. When you feel you are coming to the end of your load, let that fill up the cup to the fill up line, because that will be your cleanest urine. Then you just cross your fingers and hand in your cup(a prayer couldn't hurt either lol, but I'm atheist =P).

Like the first post of this thread has said, the best bet to pass your test is simply to dilute your urine as much as possible. There are many reasons that your piss could be diluted, not just to avoid a positive test result(if they happen to bring the dilution up). You could have excercised heavily that morning, could have been sick and have been drinking lots of fluids, anything. Just act confident and as though you KNOW you are clean. Don't go calling your employer to find out if you did in fact pass the test or not, let them call you.

Today I failed a drug testing kit my dad got for me from work, and my test is tomorrow. He seemed pretty confident that I would pass the test tomorrow if I follow his directions. He's gonna grab another test kit for me to use before I go to take the official test, just in case I need to reschedule or something if I fail again(yes I know I'm lucky to have the luxury of being able to reschedule and having a cool dad).

So... start chugging away =). I must have pissed atleast 10 times in writing this here =P.

07-10-2006, 11:29 AM	#74 (permalink)
bumfighterBFK YaHookan Status: Offline Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 1 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	I have a drug test to take within the next couple of days, and I am a HEAVY smoker. First off, lemme say that my dad works in corrections (looking after inmates in jails) and he is a certified drug tester. Not only does he work the small little test strips you dip into a cup of piss(much like the home testing kits that you can buy), but he is also certified to use and uses the official machine that they use to test to make sure it is not a false positive (mass spechtromy or something like that, I can't spell it...). He told me that there is NO chance to contest a positive result from this machine to ANY court. So, he is quite quallified and KNOWS what he is talking about. Ok, so this is what my dad has told me to do about my upcoming test, and also what he has told my brother to do to pass his test(which he did in fact pass). He told me you simply have to drink ALOT of water, and when I say alot, he EMPHASIZED ALLLOOOOTTTT. He told me obviously to stop smoking right away, and to start drinking HEAVILY to help flush out your system. The day BEFORE the test you need to drink LOTS of water, he told me you gotta drink until you're gonna puke. You should be drinking/pissing ALL DAY, ALL LONG, NON-STOP. Gallons upon gallons upon gallons is what he told me to do. There is no such thing as too much water. Before you go to sleep the night before your test, slam a gallon jug of water or some large amount to make sure you're gonna wake up in the middle of the night to take another piss, and when you go to take that piss, slam another jug of water before you go to sleep again. When you wake up the next morning, start your water chugging again, and do not eat ANYTHING until after the test. If you're starving and hurting from hunger pains, deal with it, the cramping will pass away. You really want your piss to be as diluted as possible. You ideally would want to take at least a full 6 pisses before you go to take the test on test day, so if your test is in the morning, wake up early enough to piss that much before the test time comes. So, the key is to flush your system and dilute your piss as much as possible. Again, there is no such thing as drinking too much water, drink until you think you are gonna puke. When you go to take the test, chances are you are gonna have a full bladder to unload. You need to piss the first stream in the toilet, because that will be your dirtiest urine. When you feel you are coming to the end of your load, let that fill up the cup to the fill up line, because that will be your cleanest urine. Then you just cross your fingers and hand in your cup(a prayer couldn't hurt either lol, but I'm atheist =P). Like the first post of this thread has said, the best bet to pass your test is simply to dilute your urine as much as possible. There are many reasons that your piss could be diluted, not just to avoid a positive test result(if they happen to bring the dilution up). You could have excercised heavily that morning, could have been sick and have been drinking lots of fluids, anything. Just act confident and as though you KNOW you are clean. Don't go calling your employer to find out if you did in fact pass the test or not, let them call you. Today I failed a drug testing kit my dad got for me from work, and my test is tomorrow. He seemed pretty confident that I would pass the test tomorrow if I follow his directions. He's gonna grab another test kit for me to use before I go to take the official test, just in case I need to reschedule or something if I fail again(yes I know I'm lucky to have the luxury of being able to reschedule and having a cool dad). So... start chugging away =). I must have pissed atleast 10 times in writing this here =P.