[FuSoYa]

Lately, my mind has been playing mind games with me. I have feelings of disphoria triggered by slight worry. The worry accumulates for no reason, and takes over. I used to have this feeling if I took one hit too many off of a bowl, but now it's happening when I'm completely fine and sober.

The most severe example I can give you is this. Intense anxiety hits me when I drive, simply because one has to always be aware of their surroundings to ensure the safety of themselves and those around them. Well, the anxiety hits me for the most idiotic reason. The anxiety is over the anxiety itself, in a paradoxial way. Before driving to work, I think "oh no, I feel anxiety. It's going to interfere with my driving." The anxiety grows worse, and soon I become overly-conscious of my breathing, and it no longer feels like a subconcscious function, but rather a function that I have to control myself. Problem is, it feels like I don't know HOW to control it in order to keep myself from passing out from lack of oxygen. I mean, it's like I KNOW I won't pass out while I'm on the freeway ( which scares me most of all ), but I feel myself getting dizzier and dizzier as I drive. This anxiety is so pointless, and I know it, but I can't control it. It takes over, and it's literally anxiety over absolutely nothing. I feel this sharp feeling of intense fear in my stomach, my heart races, and I feel surges of terror ( comparable to in horror movies, when something "startling" happens ).

The only conclusion I can come to is that I'm losing my mind. I'll lay on my bed, staring at the walls, the blinds, the ceiling, my own hands...and as I look at who and what I am, and the harshness of reality, I become scared...like nothing I can do at that point will undo the fear and forboding within me.

If I go to a psychologist, is there anything he can do to help me regain sanity or am I on a downward spiral?

I just want help. I don't want to feel alone anymore. I want to return to normal. Something needs to be done, but I don't want to bring up these issues in front of my parents because I know they won't understand. Was it the cannabis that fucked my head up? I just need answers.