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Here is what I was referring to when I was talking about the Church's stance on condoms and premarital sex:

The traditions of law in the United States and in Italy are polar opposites. Historically, in the United States, people believe in legislating few laws but using strict enforcement. In Italy however, its the opposite. Many laws are put on the books but the enforcement of the laws is very lax. This divergence in the legal culture proves to be a very unfortunate conflict for the Catholic Church. As I'm sure some people are aware, The Curia (or the government of the Church) are all from Vatican in Italy. They generally are the people who come up with Church's stance on particular issues.

So now, in the context of what I said before, you have Italian priests in the Curia coming up with many many rules and regulations and position that in an Italians priests mind, are going to be loosely enforced. These same rules (for lack of a better word) also apply to American Catholics. The priests in the US, in line with their own cultural understandings, take all these laws and enforce them very very strictly.

I hope I'm explaining this well so far, as I really doubt anyone has heard this before. But in my classes, the professor showed us a video on this phenomenon. They had interviews with Italian and American priests on issues like condoms and pre-marital sex. The American priest was very harsh and judgmental. He were clear in their answers that Catholics should not be have any pre-marital sex or use condoms. To do so is a sin and by sinning you're offending God a risking going to hell. Essentially its the hard line stance that turns many people off to Catholicism.

What the Italian priest said couldnt be more different. They described the Church's position on condoms and pre martial sex as "A beautiful ideal". To the Italians, these things are more guidelines than hard rules. He was fully aware that that in the current society, to expect people to not use condoms or have sex before marraige was unrealistic and in the case of condoms damaging. He also said that it is important that the Church on principal discourage people from doing such things. It was his opinion that the Ideal of not having sex before marraige was very important to Catholicism. Without such a wonderful ideal, what would people strive for. It's the model of what a loving sexual relationship SHOULD be, but realistically is not always going to happen. I really wish I could go back and watch it now so I could communicate it better but I hope you guys get the gist of it.

A lot of the ridiculously strict American Catholic tradition is a result of this cultural disconnect. In America, if you dont go to church, you have sex before marraige, or use condoms you're berated or at least informed that your being a sinner by most priests.

In the Italian and European Catholic tradition, as I'm sure some people are aware of or witnessed, you identify with being a Catholic and are accepted as a Catholic even though you don't necessarily follow every single excessive rule that the Curia has come up with over the years.

It was things like this that have given me a very different view of Catholicism than most people. As a young person growing up, its pretty ridiculous to think just because I have sex out of marraige, use condoms, and dont go to church every weekend that I am a horrible sinner.

I am sure that its stuff like that that makes other young people completely write of Catholicism as a religion one would want to be a part of.

I really would like to hear what people think of all that and I wonder if anyone has ever heard that before or can understand what I'm tryin to get across?