[verklingen]

Originally Posted by Mercury

Thanks Verk. That post came with impeccable timing because I'm fighting dark thoughts at the moment. Worst of all I feel like I reflect the darkness in other people, if that makes sense. Like I feel that the way I react to other peoples natures makes them feel badly.

Maybe -- just maybe -- that is the light's way of revealing to you a misaligned perception that you hold which, no longer able to remain tucked away in the heretofore "impenetrable" fog of denial, is now providing you with more grief than it may have in the past. Hmm? Frustrating, isn't it?

It can be, if you choose not to see the light for what it is.

Originally Posted by Mercury

I want so badly to be a shining ray of hope and happiness but I feel like a black, selfish hole.

My friend, don't concern yourself so much with others. There is work to be done for them, sure, but it can only "work" if they decide it can be so. You can shine all the light of hope and happiness in the entire universe upon one single individual and still affect no change if he chooses not to see the light for what it is.

Primarily, your duty is to yourself. Your duty is to observe the darkness which the brilliant light of this age is making oh so apparent, and decide if it is truly a part of you or if you are only "fooling yourself." For if you are fooling yourself, will you not be fooling others? How can you help them! This process of dissolving the darkness is not compartmentalized: it cannot be reserved to only one aspect of your life. So see for yourself, help yourself, heal yourself; in total, without omission. Then maybe -- just maybe -- the light which you've cultivated can help uncover the darkness for another, dispelling their denial and helping them to make a choice of who and what they are, who and what they wish to be.