[verklingen]

i certainly don't think it's beyond repair, but only you can decide where that line is drawn.

i think i good talk is needed between you two. both of you need to figure out how your behaviors affect each other, why they have those effects, and what can be done about them. long-term relationships have a way of getting really bad emotionally before either party recognizes there is an actual problem, so much so that the bad feelings themselves become a part of the usual routine. by this point, when a problem is brought up it is most times done selfishly, which is to say that it is presented one-sided as though it pertains to only half the equation. it's never meant as an attack -- you're just seeing a problem and explaining how it's affecting you -- but it's often seen as one, and the result is a reaction in what is perceived as like kind: justifications, accusations, and whatever else. this goes both ways, and through a 5-year relationship i'm sure you've seen your fair share.

talk with him: explain yourself completely and allow him the same chance. see how your explanations relate and don't be afraid to point out what doesn't add up or have what doesn't add up on your part pointed out. there is no right or wrong in this (with the exception of feeling like you're "owed" some leeway in your behavior for something you've put up with), you are both dealing with opinions. express them clearly and try to find an agreement between them. you have to understand each other, but most importantly understand yourself. if you don't have that there's no use trying to understand anyone (or really anyTHING in my opinion) else. lastly. . . the past is the past. leave it there. that only matters if you both agree, though.

but all this is offered under the assumption that you BOTH want this to work. . . figure that out first. best of luck, plenty good vibes going your way.