Quote:
Originally Posted by tedkennedy
yea thats what i think too but its easier said that done in my circumstances. i have alot of anxiety and stress and low self esteem, the last thing i think i couuld do would be impress a girl. theres actually a really nice asian girl who apparently is into me but i just feel so crappy and insecure that id rather be alone than face a stressful situation. its depressing because id really love to at least get to know this girl, however i have conflicting feelings because i dont want to face a stressful situation. the only way i would be able to handle such a situation if i was fucked up, and in this case that is basically out of the question so i will just avoid the situation all together.
i mean its completely fine if i already know a person and feel comfortable, its just you know those first awkward encounters are just really hard and in the past i would get ridiculously fucked up on drugs. for example this girl asked me to her prom and i only agreed to go on the condition that i was rolling on exctasy :P it turned out to be really fun as long as i was rolling balls, however if i was sober it would have been stressful as fuck. its sad, and i dont want to have to take drugs to feel ok, but unfortunately thats just the way i have been in the past.
i guess im trying to change but its really difficult.
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i'm serious ted, you analyze EVERY little thing you do, and you need to relieve the stress it causes..i'm in the same boat with you.....lets jump ship...(metaphorical ly speaking of course) even tho I get prescribed drugs, I'm addicted to the process of copping.....etc..... *sigh* i think weed is helpful in stimulating the parts of the brain we destroyed w/ our opiate use......