Yesterday, I was drinking at my desk, listening to music and writing, when on impulse I went on my ex's(Jessica) email and wrote something along the lines of "I think about you every day"
I haven't talked to Jess in 9 months except for two emails; the first was sent a few weeks after she broke up with her more recent bf(Charlie... the one that won between us, essentially) saying we should hang out some time after her classes are done with for the year, and my reply dancing around and making excuses to avoid it cause I still have hella strong feelings for her; but I've got rejection issues and I try my damnedest to avoid putting myself in positions where I feel I could get burned.
Anyway, yesterday I got this as a reply.
Quote:
i think of you all the time. everyday basically. we kinda had a thing and i
liked you a long time ago. i liked you a lot. but i had so much going on, that it wasn't the right time. i hated how it worked because i didn't want it to be as bad as it was. i did like you. a lot. i still do. but again, the mess. the funny thing is, i think if i were to let go of all im trying to fix or hang onto in my life, and just go for it, it would work out perfectly. but at the same time, i would always wonder and think and i wouldn't wanna hurt you in any way. ever. because your amazing. your an incredible person. =] im sure i shall be seeing you soon, and if you stare into my eyes, i think you'll see it. you will. i know you will.
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I'm pretty sure "the mess" = when she dumped me to go back with Charlie... if not it's just about her dealing with all of the Charlie shit now(he's pretty much a terrible person)
So anyway, toward the end it gets hella ambiguous, and I'm not sure what to think/do/say/how to act.
What're your thoughts? I'm pretty much head over heels for her, but is this her way of saying this would be nice, but no... or is she saying we should go for it?
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