[zeusalmighty]

Don't listen to the gimmicks, vineger is just going to hurt your kidneys. Bleach can kill you, and they test for it in your urine. They'll probably test for anything you put in there, Visine, Bleach, Vineger, Draino. Don't fuck with it, nothing of that nature is going to enter your fat cells and cleanse the metabolites away, and even if the test is fooled, they're going to check for it.

Here's the idea - Dilute and mask the dilution. Notice that it's not masking the drug, you are masking the fact that your urine isn't a true cross-section of your usage. If your urine is dilute enough, there won't be enough metabolites for the test to pick up. I did some research on all those detox drinks, and found a PDF file online with most of this information. E-mail me if you want the pdf file, I'll forward it to you. I passed two home tests this way - still don't have the results back from the official test, but I'm confident.

Your urine contains creatinin - produced from creatine monohydrate you get from red meat. If that's too low, and they test it, you fail. Your urine also has electrolytes in it (read: salt). If you don't have enough salt, you fail. Also, if your piss is clear, you'll fail (or best case they'll retest you).

So here's what I've done to pass my home tests:

Quit SMOKING as soon as you hear about the test - you don't want to be battling yourself.


If you can't afford it, substitute 1 quart of water + 2 tums for 1 quart of Gatorade. Gatorade tastes better and has electrolytes. The tums will do the same thing, but it's not as tasty.


If you have a lot of notice (like a week), 5-7 days before, exercise and eat like 7 or 8 small meals a day. This will increase your metabolism, which will help your fat cells pump some of the metabolites out, hopefully reducing the amount inside to begin with.

Two days before (48 hours), stop exercising. Eat 2 giant fatty meals a day - DON'T eat breakfast. Wait until lunch and gut load. At dinner, eat JUST before you go to bed. This will SLOW your metabolism down. You want to STOP pumping those metabolites out. Start taking creatine supplements, you can get them at WalMart or Walgreens (like 10 bucks for the bottle). Double the dosage so you're peeing out most of it. Take a B complex vitamin before you go to bed (this will turn your piss yellow).

The day before, HYDRATE. It can take your body up to 24 hours to fully absorb all the liquid you drink, so make sure the day before you have sufficient liquid. It won't hurt to drink more than you need, it'll definitely flush your blood out in prep for tomorrow, but you don't need to be drinking TONS - you don't need to pee clear right now, just make sure you have as much as your body actually needs. Take a B Vitamin in the morning. Continue the creatine supplements. Eat LARGE FATTY meals - the idea is to push stuff INTO your fat cells instead of having them pump stuff out. Make sure you are only eating twice the day before, and eat JUST before you go to bed. The food sitting in your stomach will keep your metabolism low.

The morning of, DON'T EAT. Provide yourself 4 hours before the test. That means, if it's at 9am - wake up at 5. Take 2 B vitamins. Take a double dose of Creatine. Start pounding back gatorade. Drink as much as you can (2 quarts is sufficient) as soon as you get up. Make sure you defecate and urinate as soon as you can. Keep drinking 8-12 ounces every 15 minutes or so until you are urinating clear. Keep drinking 8-12 ounces every 15 minutes now until your urine is turning yellow from the B vitamins. An hour and a half or so before the test, your urine may go clear again, if it does, take one more vitamin. Keep drinking. You want that gatorade to turn into water as fast as you can make it.

When you get to the test, make sure you are still feeling the urgent desire to urinate from pumping yourself full. If you are in a position where the drug test isn't the center of the meeting (like new employment or something), HOLD IT. You'll want to pee bad as hell, but just keep thinking about what happens if you fail - it'll give you strength. The urine in your bladder should be pretty clean.

When you take the test, use the middle stream of your urine, don't give them the beginning or the very end of your stream. Picture the metabolites as sugar at the bottom of a pitcher of cold water. Let's say you poke a hole in bottom of the pitcher - what comes out first? A stream of sugar. But it doesn't all come out, a bunch remains at the bottom. The last bit of water is going to carry the rest of the sugar through the hole. See?


That's it. Don't act scared, those fuckers can smell it on you.


Hopefully this helps.