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WhatUsedToBe · 07-01-2008, 11:23 PM

Well as some of you may know my parents found my stash again. After numerous times of telling them i'd stop, it didn't go down as I would of liked it to, but I was expecting that cause I know how my parents are.

I've decided to stop smoking, to make my parents happy. Its honestly the only reason I have decided to quit. I dont think I need to, my life was going great. I just finished off my first semester of college, didnt do to bad, passed all my classes. Im not used to havin my grades based soley on tests, but no excuses here, i'll do better next semester for sure. I have been holding a job for nearly two years, and the best part was I could get baked before going in, and just listen to my iPod and do my work. It was fuckin awesome.

My problem here is based on my parents, I think.

I hate myself for giving in to them, I take that back I dont hate myself but im not happy with the choice of having to quit based soley on their request, I dont feel like im 19, I feel like a kid still, like I cant make my own decisions in my life or something. On the other hand, if I were to keep smoking, I wouldnt be happy with that choice either. I would feel guilty, like im letting my parents down... I dont get it, my thoughts really fuck with me sometimes.

07-01-2008, 11:23 PM	#1 (permalink)
WhatUsedToBe YaHookan Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: New York Posts: 218 Thanks: 0 Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts	Seems like I cant win sometimes Well as some of you may know my parents found my stash again. After numerous times of telling them i'd stop, it didn't go down as I would of liked it to, but I was expecting that cause I know how my parents are. I've decided to stop smoking, to make my parents happy. Its honestly the only reason I have decided to quit. I dont think I need to, my life was going great. I just finished off my first semester of college, didnt do to bad, passed all my classes. Im not used to havin my grades based soley on tests, but no excuses here, i'll do better next semester for sure. I have been holding a job for nearly two years, and the best part was I could get baked before going in, and just listen to my iPod and do my work. It was fuckin awesome. My problem here is based on my parents, I think. I hate myself for giving in to them, I take that back I dont hate myself but im not happy with the choice of having to quit based soley on their request, I dont feel like im 19, I feel like a kid still, like I cant make my own decisions in my life or something. On the other hand, if I were to keep smoking, I wouldnt be happy with that choice either. I would feel guilty, like im letting my parents down... I dont get it, my thoughts really fuck with me sometimes. __________________ 'The money is out there, you just gotta go and get it."