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Did something happen that may have sparked a memory of this girl? Did you used to smoke cigarettes with her? I don't know about this past relationship was all about, but perhaps something happened in your day that brought a glimpse of her. It sounds like you still have strong feelings for this girl, maybe you miss the old days in the fields...Nothing is wrong with you, you are just painfully reminiscing.
Let me know if i can help.
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 So tonight you better stop and rebuild all your ruins, because peace and trust can win the day despite of all your losings 
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