PositiveVibez. You haven't said a lame thing that I've read. You need to get back on your feet again. I know it's hard to have self-confidence. I know people are brash(proof this forum). Honestly though, these people are your friends. Don't be afraid to talk to them. No one is out to hate on you, and if they are fuck 'em. Ya dig?
Don't smoke to forget P, smoke to embrace. Cannabis is a big amplifier of your feelings and ideas.
I know how you feel I'm a pretty anxious person as well. However I use cannabis for that believe it or not. Not because "dooooood it mellows me out mannnn". Because weed FREAKS me out. But if you can get atuned to freaking out over nothing when your stoned. The next time you do it sober, you know exactly what remedies this.
Though this might not be the "darkest days of your life", dark days still hold little light. You gotta attack these life issues at their roots if you can. If you can't then you gotta learn to tell them to piss off until the opprtunity arises.(though I believe anything can be changed).
Well if you've got that built into your head "I'm gonna freak out" don't be surprised if you do. Life is largely impacted on mentality. Your thoughts more so than your life though.
and <3
Your gonna figure this out. It just takes time to heal the emotional wound that just came about.