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It doesn't matter what you say in social settings, its all about how you say it. I could call myself a complete idiot douche bag infront a group of associates/friends that I know but say it in a way I would just get everybody laughing and having more fun.

Sounds to me like you still havn't broken out of your shell, prolly to due with fear (most problems do). Do you think you have other people on pedestals? Do you think they deserve or are better than you in some ways (from your post I think you do)? If so, why? If not, why? Do you think you have been living in your own little world for so long that you have forgotten how to act "normal"? If so, is it worth it to stay in your world, lonely?

These are things everybody goes through at some point and I just wanted to get you to think about it a little (once you start doubting yourself, stop listening to yourself).