Not impressed any more

The SARS Volta · 05-19-2007, 11:23 PM

In the past few months, I've noticed that I have completely lost my sex drive.

Now, it was never very intense in the first place. I've had flat-out 'relations' with three people in my life, all b/fs. My friends and acquaintances have always been considerably sluttier than I have, and I've never really had a problem with it.

The difference is before if I could choose having quality sex over not having quality sex, I would. Certainly, I would enjoy it to different extents. I can get laid if I want it now-a-days yet lately I don't feel it is anything special or important.

Right now I couldn't give two squirts of duck shit about whether I ever get it again. It isn't tied to self-esteem; that hadn't stopped me before when I at least had curiosity more so than desire toward sex.

I find that I damn well notice when a dude is attractive and admire it but I never care about the pursuit. Anything of the matter is low on my list of priorities, for some reason. This could be because I'm single now and I don't have feelings for anybody, but I feel like this is an unusual response for someone of my age (19 and female btw).

Has anybody else gone through this? Did it ever change?

Christoffer · 05-20-2007, 04:40 AM

Man, I'm always horny.

Sars you seem to worry alot, by all accounts we are still very young people, and the body, wether you like it or not, can do some funny shit on us.

For example remove our sex drive for a while..

I'm not trying to write it off as teenage problems, I'm not that condescending. You just seem to worry a lot about stuff that, in my head, is well, sorta normal.

I'll send you some PM's to get that sex drive going again. O.o

koshiva · 05-20-2007, 05:44 AM

^Yes it is normal, and not uncommon for labido to go in cycles.

It could very well be Sars, that initially you had that 'curiosity' about sex as do most teenagers, and experimented somewhat; and having indulged and played now find yourself kind of indifferent to it. Perhaps now you've found a certain emptyness associated with looking at the opposite sex in a physical/sexualised way when any depth between you and that person is absent.

Possibly, its just a question of you meeting the right person and the rest will take care of itself. While teenage boys/men tend to lust more in a sexual way even, perhaps even prior to having even spoken to someone, women seem to have a more defined, or refined sense of attraction which is more discerning and orientated around more than a purely sexual attraction. Not to say men are not considered souls, but from a hormonal perspective, testosterone is a potent force, where as estrogen is kind of sweet and sensual and 'intuitive'. Generalised yes...though any women who started taking male hormones, would start to think like a man and lust more, have a higher sex drive, more aggression even, vissualisation>fanta sy.

In todays age, the media can shape and mould cultural sentiments too and that should not be underestimated. The way some people think they should behave because of the media or peer pressure even may be contrary to the way they should behave according to inbuilt biological mechanisms/desires.

Its been said men sow their seed and like dandelions spread that seed as far and wide as possible(impregnatei ng women). From a purely biological perspective this would ensure evolution and survival of the species has the best chance of success. For women on the other hand, sexual activity could be much more of a risky proposition in the sense of pregnancy itself, and so the female would be best served to gain the monogamous dedication of the man to protect herself and the resultant baby. So for women...in many cases, first their is attraction(personali ty/looks) and then there is lust. Men?...its all over the place lol. And I know sex does not mean pregnancy in this day and age, but unconciously, such ancient intuition remains.

The point is, is that when you look at men and may think, 'Yeah what ever', once you get to know somebody very well looks do indeed become secondary. Theres no question attraction is to a signifigant extent governed by the physical attributes of people, but human beings being so dynamic and multi-faceted means that sometimes the most unussual people, older, younger, skinny, fat, tall, short etc may be very attractive to us when normally we may not find them very attractive at all having merely observed them at a distance or spent little time with them.

So attraction is not exclusivly based upon their looks, but their personalities which trump the initial view. And some times you meet someone and its fireworks, other times it could take weeks, months or even years to get to know someone very well and in the process grow more and more attracted to someone who you may have even intitially thought 'No way'.

If you've been seeing the same people....well one could meet many and not even feel a distant murmur of a stirring...and then one day...that person just walks in and its all on. If you feel indifferent, just go with it...theres a million different interesting/stimulateing things to focus on in life instead of sex/relationships etc.

Now sluts, or slutty behaviour? What is that? Who knows exactly? Who cares? The fact is, its not whats expected of you by others which matters, but what you expect of yourself. There maybe issues related to self worth...and while some just 'give it away now' there 'may' indeed be something precious in being selective.

When ever alcohol especially, and other drugs are involved though, men and women can sometimes have inhibitions lowered so low that they become brain dead and subject to the whims of 'what will be will be'...in other words...'fuck it all'. <Was that a play on words? hmmm

Any femi nazi's in the house?

Go get em tiger...or rather...waiting can be good too

Patrick Rue · 05-20-2007, 07:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The SARS Volta

In the past few months, I've noticed that I have completely lost my sex drive.

Now, it was never very intense in the first place. I've had flat-out 'relations' with three people in my life, all b/fs. My friends and acquaintances have always been considerably sluttier than I have, and I've never really had a problem with it.

The difference is before if I could choose having quality sex over not having quality sex, I would. Certainly, I would enjoy it to different extents. I can get laid if I want it now-a-days yet lately I don't feel it is anything special or important.

Right now I couldn't give two squirts of duck shit about whether I ever get it again. It isn't tied to self-esteem; that hadn't stopped me before when I at least had curiosity more so than desire toward sex.

I find that I damn well notice when a dude is attractive and admire it but I never care about the pursuit. Anything of the matter is low on my list of priorities, for some reason. This could be because I'm single now and I don't have feelings for anybody, but I feel like this is an unusual response for someone of my age (19 and female btw).

Has anybody else gone through this? Did it ever change?

I don't care that much about sex and I think it makes me a better person over all. More clear mind. Sex is for someone special with me.

It's really not important in life to me.

**30_Units** · 05-20-2007, 07:52 AM

Yeah, I've got a saying that boners are the root of 90% of poor choices.

I think that media and all these stupid kids that are 'most kids' who go along with what they learn from their tv, and secondhand from other people that learn from the tv.....not everyone in life is after sex, or having sex, or lusting, or involved with problems from said things....

sex is a very small sliver of what's available in life. Sure, it's nice as hell.....but not being preoccupied with such things is kinda' all in how you see it, I would say.

If there's nobody in your life thqat you can have something productive with, the lack of lust might not be such a bad thing. People that are constantly trying to fill their lives with girls\guys all the time seem to be both pretty shallow and preoccupied with....shallow shit. Not to mention the conversations of 'omg i can't believe who i slept with', the std scares, the preggers scares, 'omg they don't like me :agnst:' .....that's all a big dramatic hassle.

You can tell I'm of the persuasion that it should be reserved for someone special. people have different ideas, i'm sure.

regardless, i don't think it sould be anything to be worried about, unless it's just really uh....itching. i guess.

rereding, yeah, i've gone through it. I'm surrounded by stupid girls, who though are smokin hot and give me boners like mad, I wouldn't involve myself with just because of the drama, and the fact that I know i'm not the kind of person who has sex without the presence of a relationship. It has changed in the past when I've found good people, but they don't come along everyday, and thusly now is such a 'dry period'

good luck G

and ya, i didn't read Kosh's postat first because it's long and stuff, but yeah man.....kind of concurred,.

surf*and*smoke · 05-20-2007, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geeno

I don't care that much about sex and I think it makes me a better person over all. More clear mind. Sex is for someone special with me.

It's really not important in life to me.

exactly^

i feel like not caring about getting it that much keeps people honest and not faking anything for sex

i feel like in the long run it helps you find the right person anyways because you aren't trying to impress someone to get inside of them.

bongload · 05-20-2007, 06:59 PM

Malnutrition = lowered sex drive... eat yer beans.

The SARS Volta · 05-20-2007, 07:12 PM

"beans" translates to e for me.

I suppose that would make me pretty sexually eager.

**v3d4** · 05-20-2007, 08:47 PM

yeah, i dont want none either, and it gets pretty old when everyone you know is constantly going on and on about it all the time

Mango · 05-20-2007, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geeno

I don't care that much about sex and I think it makes me a better person over all. More clear mind. Sex is for someone special with me.

It's really not important in life to me.

QTF

The SARS Volta · 05-20-2007, 09:22 PM

^quoted truth for, lol

Not that I don't agree. He types the truth on that one. The best people I know aren't so concerned with their libidos.

Mango · 05-20-2007, 09:27 PM

eh, It was my first time using that acronym

Flipper · 05-21-2007, 01:43 PM

Lots of people(guys and girls) go through cycles like yours. The root cause of your problem seems to be a lack of emotional "sex". I assume you don't get turned on by drunk yet hot frat boys telling you how pretty you are and whatever else will hopefully you into bed. Rather it is the charming men who make you feel good about yourself that really turn you on. My question is, these b/fs of yours, were they "the perfect guy" or do you not allow yourself to have sex without justifying it via bf/gf reasoning? I think you should find someone who is willing to satisfy your emotional desires if you want to get out of this no sex rut. The problem is, people our age tend to just want to express themselves physically. I'd suggest looking for someone older and more mature, or looking for a real nice guy(one who can get laid but doesn't as he wants more out of relationships). Good luck and you'll get out of this rut soon. We all get it eventually. There's got to be more to relationships than penetrate, thrust, and repeat.

tedkennedy · 05-21-2007, 02:41 PM

sounds like someone needs to start dating big black men

BearsysRevenge · 05-21-2007, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D

Man, I'm always horny.

Dude!
Even at work?
thats disgusting.

gosox · 05-21-2007, 09:35 PM

sars do you smoke?because i have noticed somewhat of the same thing after i smoke so weed

**Captain Cannabis** · 05-21-2007, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by v3d4

it gets pretty old when everyone you know is constantly going on and on about it all the time

i pretty much don't enjoy hanging out with some people because they are all about getting laid, talking about who they are going to bang, etc. i haven't had sex in a long time and it doesn't really bother me. i learned a lot about trust when i was young and sex is something very personal that i don't want to do with a stranger. it is not even tempting for me to pick up girls at the bar.

this is how i look at it: if you want to have sex the first time i meet you, why would i even want to date you? i don't know anything about you except the fact that you will have sex with a person you have never met before. and that says a lot about you.

don't sweat it sars

Patrick Rue · 05-22-2007, 05:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Cannabis

this is how i look at it: if you want to have sex the first time i meet you, why would i even want to date you? i don't know anything about you except the fact that you will have sex with a person you have never met before. and that says a lot about you

Word

Breakpoint · 05-22-2007, 08:17 AM

:.... walks into room.... Flashes SARS!!!!!! Look... Its LITTLE JIM!!!!...... closes his trenchy and runs out of the room...

Now if that dont get you horny... I dont know what to do..

hehe...

On a se

05-20-2007, 04:40 AM	#2 (permalink)
Christoffer Once Posted Here Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 10,612 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Man, I'm always horny. Sars you seem to worry alot, by all accounts we are still very young people, and the body, wether you like it or not, can do some funny shit on us. For example remove our sex drive for a while.. I'm not trying to write it off as teenage problems, I'm not that condescending. You just seem to worry a lot about stuff that, in my head, is well, sorta normal. I'll send you some PM's to get that sex drive going again. O.o __________________ Rise and Fall.

05-20-2007, 05:44 AM	#3 (permalink)
koshiva . Join Date: Jan 2000 Posts: 6,907 Thanks: 3 Thanked 72 Times in 58 Posts	^Yes it is normal, and not uncommon for labido to go in cycles. It could very well be Sars, that initially you had that 'curiosity' about sex as do most teenagers, and experimented somewhat; and having indulged and played now find yourself kind of indifferent to it. Perhaps now you've found a certain emptyness associated with looking at the opposite sex in a physical/sexualised way when any depth between you and that person is absent. Possibly, its just a question of you meeting the right person and the rest will take care of itself. While teenage boys/men tend to lust more in a sexual way even, perhaps even prior to having even spoken to someone, women seem to have a more defined, or refined sense of attraction which is more discerning and orientated around more than a purely sexual attraction. Not to say men are not considered souls, but from a hormonal perspective, testosterone is a potent force, where as estrogen is kind of sweet and sensual and 'intuitive'. Generalised yes...though any women who started taking male hormones, would start to think like a man and lust more, have a higher sex drive, more aggression even, vissualisation>fanta sy. In todays age, the media can shape and mould cultural sentiments too and that should not be underestimated. The way some people think they should behave because of the media or peer pressure even may be contrary to the way they should behave according to inbuilt biological mechanisms/desires. Its been said men sow their seed and like dandelions spread that seed as far and wide as possible(impregnatei ng women). From a purely biological perspective this would ensure evolution and survival of the species has the best chance of success. For women on the other hand, sexual activity could be much more of a risky proposition in the sense of pregnancy itself, and so the female would be best served to gain the monogamous dedication of the man to protect herself and the resultant baby. So for women...in many cases, first their is attraction(personali ty/looks) and then there is lust. Men?...its all over the place lol. And I know sex does not mean pregnancy in this day and age, but unconciously, such ancient intuition remains. The point is, is that when you look at men and may think, 'Yeah what ever', once you get to know somebody very well looks do indeed become secondary. Theres no question attraction is to a signifigant extent governed by the physical attributes of people, but human beings being so dynamic and multi-faceted means that sometimes the most unussual people, older, younger, skinny, fat, tall, short etc may be very attractive to us when normally we may not find them very attractive at all having merely observed them at a distance or spent little time with them. So attraction is not exclusivly based upon their looks, but their personalities which trump the initial view. And some times you meet someone and its fireworks, other times it could take weeks, months or even years to get to know someone very well and in the process grow more and more attracted to someone who you may have even intitially thought 'No way'. If you've been seeing the same people....well one could meet many and not even feel a distant murmur of a stirring...and then one day...that person just walks in and its all on. If you feel indifferent, just go with it...theres a million different interesting/stimulateing things to focus on in life instead of sex/relationships etc. Now sluts, or slutty behaviour? What is that? Who knows exactly? Who cares? The fact is, its not whats expected of you by others which matters, but what you expect of yourself. There maybe issues related to self worth...and while some just 'give it away now' there 'may' indeed be something precious in being selective. When ever alcohol especially, and other drugs are involved though, men and women can sometimes have inhibitions lowered so low that they become brain dead and subject to the whims of 'what will be will be'...in other words...'fuck it all'. <Was that a play on words? hmmm Any femi nazi's in the house? Go get em tiger...or rather...waiting can be good too __________________ RIP GOV

05-20-2007, 07:52 AM	#5 (permalink)
30_Units Heart'saBroken Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 4,763 Thanks: 27 Thanked 150 Times in 90 Posts	Yeah, I've got a saying that boners are the root of 90% of poor choices. I think that media and all these stupid kids that are 'most kids' who go along with what they learn from their tv, and secondhand from other people that learn from the tv.....not everyone in life is after sex, or having sex, or lusting, or involved with problems from said things.... sex is a very small sliver of what's available in life. Sure, it's nice as hell.....but not being preoccupied with such things is kinda' all in how you see it, I would say. If there's nobody in your life thqat you can have something productive with, the lack of lust might not be such a bad thing. People that are constantly trying to fill their lives with girls\guys all the time seem to be both pretty shallow and preoccupied with....shallow shit. Not to mention the conversations of 'omg i can't believe who i slept with', the std scares, the preggers scares, 'omg they don't like me :agnst:' .....that's all a big dramatic hassle. You can tell I'm of the persuasion that it should be reserved for someone special. people have different ideas, i'm sure. regardless, i don't think it sould be anything to be worried about, unless it's just really uh....itching. i guess. rereding, yeah, i've gone through it. I'm surrounded by stupid girls, who though are smokin hot and give me boners like mad, I wouldn't involve myself with just because of the drama, and the fact that I know i'm not the kind of person who has sex without the presence of a relationship. It has changed in the past when I've found good people, but they don't come along everyday, and thusly now is such a 'dry period' good luck G and ya, i didn't read Kosh's postat first because it's long and stuff, but yeah man.....kind of concurred,. __________________ "There is no man, however wise, who has not at some period of his youth said things, or lived in a way the consciousness of which is so unpleasant to him in later life that he would gladly, if he could, expunge it from his memory." -- Marcel Proust The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. --George Bernard Shaw Last edited by 30_Units; 05-20-2007 at 08:00 AM.

05-20-2007, 08:47 PM	#9 (permalink)
v3d4 sky mind daughter Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Terrapin Station Posts: 5,723 Thanks: 33 Thanked 187 Times in 110 Posts	yeah, i dont want none either, and it gets pretty old when everyone you know is constantly going on and on about it all the time __________________ remember our Governor Ken Gorman

05-21-2007, 01:43 PM	#13 (permalink)
Flipper YaHookan Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Chicago Posts: 882 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Lots of people(guys and girls) go through cycles like yours. The root cause of your problem seems to be a lack of emotional "sex". I assume you don't get turned on by drunk yet hot frat boys telling you how pretty you are and whatever else will hopefully you into bed. Rather it is the charming men who make you feel good about yourself that really turn you on. My question is, these b/fs of yours, were they "the perfect guy" or do you not allow yourself to have sex without justifying it via bf/gf reasoning? I think you should find someone who is willing to satisfy your emotional desires if you want to get out of this no sex rut. The problem is, people our age tend to just want to express themselves physically. I'd suggest looking for someone older and more mature, or looking for a real nice guy(one who can get laid but doesn't as he wants more out of relationships). Good luck and you'll get out of this rut soon. We all get it eventually. There's got to be more to relationships than penetrate, thrust, and repeat. __________________ jealousy can come faster than a premature ejaculator- GH

05-20-2007, 06:59 PM	#7 (permalink)
bongload ^ it's an acronym Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Ontario Posts: 5,037 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Malnutrition = lowered sex drive... eat yer beans.

05-21-2007, 02:41 PM	#14 (permalink)
tedkennedy now 14% blacker Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 3,445 Thanks: 7 Thanked 142 Times in 92 Posts	sounds like someone needs to start dating big black men __________________ matthew munari

05-21-2007, 09:35 PM	#16 (permalink)
gosox YaHookan Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 72 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	sars do you smoke?because i have noticed somewhat of the same thing after i smoke so weed

05-22-2007, 08:17 AM	#19 (permalink)
Breakpoint Nerd Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Mass Posts: 102 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	:.... walks into room.... Flashes SARS!!!!!! Look... Its LITTLE JIM!!!!...... closes his trenchy and runs out of the room... Now if that dont get you horny... I dont know what to do.. hehe... On a se