Bi-sexuality

[JcP]

If you feel like you're having to pretend around your parents, then for your own sanity you should tell them the truth.

It was never something I really cared to talk about with my folks...none of their business if I was fucking john or jane, ya know?

being gay is a hard road to travel sometimes. Not sure about bisexuality.

Coming out should be about YOU not about THEM. If YOU need to tell them, then do it. If you are telling them because you want/need their approval or something, you're focusing on the wrong things. Your sexuality is part of who you are. Other people's judgements...even your parents...shouldn't be relevant to you.

I guess I'm just suggesting you make sure your reasons are good. And if you're approaching coming out as a "I hope this is okay", then it seems like you're needing of their approval.

"I'm bi" is not a declaration of illness or sinfulness or anything negative. It's a declaration of the self.

Good luck man.

[El Cubano Poco]

Originally Posted by JcP

If you feel like you're having to pretend around your parents, then for your own sanity you should tell them the truth.

It was never something I really cared to talk about with my folks...none of their business if I was fucking john or jane, ya know?

being gay is a hard road to travel sometimes. Not sure about bisexuality.

Coming out should be about YOU not about THEM. If YOU need to tell them, then do it. If you are telling them because you want/need their approval or something, you're focusing on the wrong things. Your sexuality is part of who you are. Other people's judgements...even your parents...shouldn't be relevant to you.

I guess I'm just suggesting you make sure your reasons are good. And if you're approaching coming out as a "I hope this is okay", then it seems like you're needing of their approval.

"I'm bi" is not a declaration of illness or sinfulness or anything negative. It's a declaration of the self.

Good luck man.

Thanks for the great advice.

I had a gay friend who was a total prick because his highschool years were very painful. He was filled with hate and spite, and told everyone that he was gay and all these details that most people didn't want to hear. He knew I was somewhat gay and would always say things to embarass me and my other friend. I didn't know I was bi at the time, and it buried that part of me in my psyche. I think this is why I've done so many hallucinogens, to explore every part of my being.

Anyhoooo, I definately wanted to do it for myself, because telling my friends felt so liberating. It felt fucking GREAT! If the occasion comes up where it seems relevant, I'm going to tell them.

P.S. I know I'm not gay, I've heard that whole bi-gay theory before...I love girls as much as I love boys

[Porcelain]

My gay boyfriend hit the homer with that advice.

It's true...if you are at the point where you've sorted all your wild oats about your sexuality and you're comfortable with who you are, it's cool to come out with it.

The way I see it is...homosexuality shouldn't be made into this fesitivity and "coming out". It's 2008. I think we should have reached a point by now where it shouldn't be as big of a deal as it is cuz more and more people are starting to realize that it's just as natural as heterosexuality. Very few people out there proudly go home to brag to their parents about their first heterosexual experience so why should a homosexual one be any different? Talking sex with parents kind of gives me the heebie jeebies whether I'm talking guys or girls.

[Porcelain]

Originally Posted by turmaline

Ok I Was J/k


*paranoid.

Oh Turm

[Jimmy Coonan]

Originally Posted by Porcelain

Very few people out there proudly go home to brag to their parents about their first heterosexual experience so why should a homosexual one be any different? Talking sex with parents kind of gives me the heebie jeebies whether I'm talking guys or girls.

Exactly. Shit, I wouldn't be surprised if my mom thinks I'm still a virgin, and I have no interest in informing her otherwise.

[AnimalLover420]

My best advice is to make absolutely sure about your sexuality before you start "coming out" to people. I told my mom I was a lesbian. I had been dating a chick for about 6 months and we were semi-serious. I thought I would never go back to a hetero lifestyle, so I went ahead and told my mother that I was gay. She fucking laughed at me and told me it was just a phase. The thing about my mom is this, she's incredibly cool and she knows me better than anyone else. So not only did she not freak out about the fact that I was carpet munchin', but she totally called it for what it was. I fought her on it and asked how dare she question my decision. But look at me now, back on the pole. And I mean pole as in man pole, not stripper pole. While I really did enjoy my relationship with that girl, as well as every other girl I dated, I think that deep down inside I knew that none of them were people I could settle down with. Not because they were women, but because we weren't as close and comfortable with each other as I would have liked. I like the way it worked out though, the guy I ended up with is wonderful and as an added bonus- he has a penis!! I probably would have made a terrible lesbian, considering the fact that I have a weakness for weiner.

[Soakedloopie]

Originally Posted by JcP

If you feel like you're having to pretend around your parents, then for your own sanity you should tell them the truth.

It was never something I really cared to talk about with my folks...none of their business if I was fucking john or jane, ya know?

being gay is a hard road to travel sometimes. Not sure about bisexuality.

Coming out should be about YOU not about THEM. If YOU need to tell them, then do it. If you are telling them because you want/need their approval or something, you're focusing on the wrong things. Your sexuality is part of who you are. Other people's judgements...even your parents...shouldn't be relevant to you.

I guess I'm just suggesting you make sure your reasons are good. And if you're approaching coming out as a "I hope this is okay", then it seems like you're needing of their approval.

"I'm bi" is not a declaration of illness or sinfulness or anything negative. It's a declaration of the self.

Good luck man.

This is a very good post.

[The SARS Volta]

Too much emphasis is put on sexuality, difference thereof, excess of, lack thereof, etc. now-a-days. Think about it--your preferences make up a minute percentage of your identity as a whole. We all know people who base a great deal of their identity on sex or sexuality, and it's weaksauce for the soul.

Don't think of yourself differently than you always have, and you'll notice no difference in the way those who matter to you look at you as a person.

[Smaerd]

I'm bi too. Very same view point on the whole thing. I am attracted to feminity (is that a word?).It's good to get it off your chest.

I remember when I told my friends about it, they all thought I was gonna like rape them or something? So fellas if your buddy says he's bi, it doesn't mean he wants to have sex with you...Necessarily.

It's good to open your eyes to thing's, especially whats inside of you. Obviously your not alone on this if that makes you feel any better.

bisexual people have a lot of fun. Some girls don't like it though, freaks 'em out. But those are usually girls you wouldn't be able to get into a serious relationship with anyways(closed minded).

[The SARS Volta]

Originally Posted by Smaerd

bisexual people have a lot of fun. Some girls don't like it though, freaks 'em out. But those are usually girls you wouldn't be able to get into a serious relationship with anyways(closed minded).

Now, that's not true.

The reason I would not get intimate with a bisexual guy is because I could emotionally handle being cheated on with another girl, but being cheated on with a man? Ouch. I'd probably internalize it too much and start thinking I was responsible for re-awakening the spark of gay that was always there.
Of course, it's just the principle of cheating that makes it all wrong in the first place, however, that particular detail would pour salt on the wound for me.

I think it's actually more close minded that you would assume "bi people have a lot of fun". I don't think a sexual preference dictates how much you will enjoy yourself

[clive]

We're all human beings at the end of the day, if he cheats on you with a man or woman it shouldn't make any difference. It sounds like you have a couple of issues to deal with Sars.

[Smaerd]

if anything it should be easier for you to deal with if a guy cheated on you with another guy? He wanted something you couldn't satisfies not your fault?

I was saying bi people have a lot of fun. Did I ever state that straight people had LESS fun? Bi people have two options. Straight people do too, but they mentally prefer one. I was trying to brighten the mood of El Cubano. Because generally whenever i hear the words gay, fag, or bi,(even on this forum) it is DEROGATORY. I was trying to let him know that it was okay to be bisexual and that there is perks if it's your thing. Why were you so offended by my post as to try to call me close minded? And I'm not assuming bisexual people have fun I am bisexual and I have fun.

You having said that bisexuality doesn't declare ones enjoyment over a straight persons(true). Denying the boundries of me having never met you and probably never will: means you and I could never get into a relationship because there is a chance I would go out of my moral standards and cheat on you with a man. Were as I appreciate the female body as much as a straight person and can connect on the same level as you...

Why would someone immediately assume someone is going to cheat on you in any sexual preferance? I've never cheated on anyone... If you don't trust someone don't get involved with them. Sounds to me like you made an excuse in your head as to why you couldn't date a bi guy. And trust me I do appreciate your contributions to the forum, and enjoy your posts, but that sounds a little close-minded to me...I had two girlfriends so far that I told I was bisexual too, both relationships were healthy. Until it was time to part ways. The one guy I was seeing didn't appreciate me as bi, and used me. Live and learn you know. Pretty much if someone LIKES you and you LIKE them and you have morals and they have morals, then you'll be alright!

But I do agree, a sexual preferance doesn't dictate how much fun you'll have. Unless your having sex against your preferance.I also liked how you said not to make your sexuality what you define yourself as. But that's the same with anything. Anything with life or a lively moment is certainly undefinable.

This was edited to shreds haha sorry.

[The SARS Volta]

Originally Posted by clive

We're all human beings at the end of the day, if he cheats on you with a man or woman it shouldn't make any difference. It sounds like you have a couple of issues to deal with Sars.

Nah, no personal issues involving that--I did see it happen to a friend and imagined myself in those shoes and thought "damn, for some reason I would be even more burnt by that" (than if it were a girl).
If some guy were bi and I fell hard for him, I probably would not go for it based on what I've seen: some young bisexuals later decide they are actually gay while still in a relationship, which would also be too much of an emotional blow for me personally. High risk IMO and nothing against those who are gay or straight and all right with having a bisexual partner. This has been discussed IRL and many agree with me.

And to Smaerd...I don't think the words "gay" or "bi" are ever derogatory unless the context dictates it.

[Smaerd]

Yeah sars I agree with you on the derogatory terms of the words. And that's cool, that's your choice to not date a bisexual guy I'm not trying to persuade you or something haha. Which kind of proves my point, it freaks some girls out. And if your bisexual and it freaks a girl out then you shouldn't date them. Their mind is closed(already decided it is too risky) to date you. Sooo what were we debating even?

You don't need to talk about how many girls agree with you, because numbers mean nothing. I'm about to be dating another girl who is well aware of my sexual nature. But I like her, and I'm not gay, so things are freh-freh-freshhh.

[BearsysRevenge]

Originally Posted by El Cubano Poco

I recently admitted to my friends that I'm bi. Everyone I told was very cool with it, and it made me feel very good to get it off my chest. The main issue I have now is telling my parents. I want to tell them (they are divorced) but I get really anxious every time I think of saying it. It might come down to telling them when I'm a bit tipsy, or I might just eventually man up to it. Once they know, I'm going to feel a whole lot better about myself. Has anyone else told their parents they were bi/gay?

So how did it end up going, bro? If at all?

[herbinator45]

so when you're bi, do you have any preference at all [towards male/female], or is it just like everyone's equal kind of thing? i'm thinking it's probably different for everyone, ya?

like smaerd.. would you rather be with dudes or girls even minutely, or is it just like whichever person, no mater what their parts, just whoever you're most attracted to in every which way?