Is it considered cheating?

BearsysRevenge · 06-30-2008, 11:07 AM

So I was dating this girl(the one from my other thread) and she decided she "needs a break to sort out some issues" she's dealing with.
We've been on said break for nearly a month and she's not made any effort to even talk to me except once.
(And I know it's stupid and superficial, but on her Myspace I was her 2nd "top friend" and now I'm not anywhere on her top friends and right after that conversation she put her ex(the one that she dumped me for last time) as her number 1 friend.)
I've decided she's not worth the effort I've put in and I'm gonna break up with her. I haven't seen her since and I want to do it in person, so we're still "together, but on a break"

Now out of the blue this other(much hotter) girl starts flirting with me and dropping some crazy dirty talk and we went out the other night(not even really as a date, cause we had these plans for a few weeks before the flirting started) and things started getting hot and I stopped myself from doing anything cause I've vowed to never, ever cheat in a relationship. And that's one promise I'm going to keep my whole life.

Anyway, is it considered cheating if I do anything? We're on a break and I'm breaking up with her the next time I see her.

And on top of this a 3rd girl(not as hot as girl 2, but I've liked her for a while) tells her friend to tell me that she likes me. lol, it's a dilemma I've never had before.

And before any of you ask me, no, I don't know what my secret is, as I still don't know how this is happening or what any of them see in me.

verklingen · 06-30-2008, 11:13 AM

i think you're good man. if you had been the one to put it on hold and leave her hanging it'd be a pretty dickish move to get it on with another girl. but with the tables turned, what can she expect after a month?

but that's just me man. anything i can say pales in comparison to your feelings on the matter. don't do anything that will trouble you.

№1 · 06-30-2008, 11:36 AM

A. Girl 1 is done with you, move on.

B. Girl 2 is looking for some Bearsy wang, don't hesitate or you may be lost.

C. Girl 3 is looking to play some field as well, jump on it while you still can.

Enjoy!

Seeds&Stems · 06-30-2008, 11:50 AM

do it man. the other bitch did you dirty cut her loose.

**Captain Cannabis** · 06-30-2008, 12:19 PM

i also never cheat in relationships. i would say go for it and make sure that girl #1 knows its over. it may be already implied at this point but it will be a load off your mind before hooking up with anyone else.

**Canuck Wisdom** · 06-30-2008, 12:32 PM

If she doesnt want to talk to you then you dont need to bother telling her your through frankly. Take heart that there are girls looking for your attention, it feels good doesnt it.

Thats what I want, attention, sex is nice, but attention is best.

Smaerd · 06-30-2008, 12:54 PM

Yeah never cheat dude. Though your relationship is over, even if you still have feelings for her(obviously you do because you care about her). My coz once dated a chick for a weekend and they never talked since so technicly they are still dating. But the "dating" terms don't mean anything in terms of two peoples connection to each other, you know. You can be dating someone you despise(in the moment), and have a best friend of a gender you date in that could treat you way better romanticly then the one your "dating".

Canuck I agree attention is what I think people want in a relationship you know. I also look for like compliments to my personality, and the eprson in the relationship I'm with better be learning something from me as much as I am learning from them, otherwise it just feels like your partner is just a trophy or something...

WildWill · 06-30-2008, 04:39 PM

You're no longer in a relationship with girl #1 - so it's no longer cheating.

GO for it.

BearsysRevenge · 06-30-2008, 04:48 PM

Ugh, she just fucking e-mailed me, apparently one of the few irl friends that I talked with about this got real mad at her and yelled at her and told her about how I was feeling... he didn't know I plan on breaking up with her, but shit.

"Blah blah blah... I still love you, I thought you understand"

This just got a bit harder, but it's still happening.

**Canuck Wisdom** · 06-30-2008, 05:05 PM

rough man, now you definitly need to have a talk.

maybe decide how you feel first, and consider what your odds are and how you feel about the other girls before talking

Smaerd · 06-30-2008, 05:12 PM

Generally what I find in all social problems is, sit them down and discuss your ideals and passions and feelings. If they won't hear them or they fly over their head, then they are not the right person for you... Deemable to stay in your life sure, though deemable to be an active role in your life, never.

Dezzy · 07-01-2008, 08:46 PM

girl 1 wants nothing to do with you. Do you not get that a "break" usually means your done to her. Im pretty sure if you havent made contact for a month she doesnt really want anything to do with you sorry bro. I cant tell if your serious bearsy your alot smarted then to think girl 1 still wants you. You need to hook up with 2 and forget about 1 it will only make you realize.

Good Luck

The SARS Volta · 07-01-2008, 09:26 PM

This reply may be biased 'cause I like you, but I think you're in the right direction. You see that the time to move on has been presented, and the next step would clearly be teh new hottie. The fact that you had an extremely favorable opportunity with said girl and didn't take it is enough of a feat--most guys either will not or cannot do the same.

BearsysRevenge · 07-01-2008, 11:29 PM

Fuck It.

I think I'm gonna go completely gay for a while.

Not like that's gonna work out any better.

Why the fuck do girls enjoy leading me on?

Fuck it Fuck it fuck it.

**Captain Cannabis** · 07-01-2008, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The SARS Volta

--most guys either will not or cannot do the same.

you have little faith in men

anitablaze · 07-02-2008, 12:23 PM

BR, things were over w/ you and girl#1 the minute she said she needed a break.

Porcelain · 07-02-2008, 06:59 PM

Normally, I'd say that anything you wouldn't do with another person in front of your mate's face is cheating...but, seriously...

You're already broken up. Accept that and get yourself some fresh poontango.

gweetar · 07-03-2008, 02:36 PM

If you have any feelings left for this girl, at all, I understand why you are having difficulties with this situation. If you dont - MOVE ON! Like everyone here said, she moved on, made it quite obvious. Heck, move on anyway, even if you do have feelings. This just isn't worth it. You move on too. I guess you could go "completely gay" for a while, but why not stay straight and enjoy girl 2, or girl 3, or girl 4, or any other girl but this one??

People say, "I hate games!" "I don't want any games or game-players", etc. etc. All the while, continually rolling the dice, continually picking up the next card, continually subverting the rules, continually keeping their hands in, and playing as many games as possible. And, usually proving they are the best player at the table.

06-30-2008, 11:07 AM	#1 (permalink)
BearsysRevenge Adminfiltrator Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: I've got BuffaLOVE Posts: 4,518 Thanks: 620 Thanked 146 Times in 107 Posts	Is it considered cheating? So I was dating this girl(the one from my other thread) and she decided she "needs a break to sort out some issues" she's dealing with. We've been on said break for nearly a month and she's not made any effort to even talk to me except once. (And I know it's stupid and superficial, but on her Myspace I was her 2nd "top friend" and now I'm not anywhere on her top friends and right after that conversation she put her ex(the one that she dumped me for last time) as her number 1 friend.) I've decided she's not worth the effort I've put in and I'm gonna break up with her. I haven't seen her since and I want to do it in person, so we're still "together, but on a break" Now out of the blue this other(much hotter) girl starts flirting with me and dropping some crazy dirty talk and we went out the other night(not even really as a date, cause we had these plans for a few weeks before the flirting started) and things started getting hot and I stopped myself from doing anything cause I've vowed to never, ever cheat in a relationship. And that's one promise I'm going to keep my whole life. Anyway, is it considered cheating if I do anything? We're on a break and I'm breaking up with her the next time I see her. And on top of this a 3rd girl(not as hot as girl 2, but I've liked her for a while) tells her friend to tell me that she likes me. lol, it's a dilemma I've never had before. And before any of you ask me, no, I don't know what my secret is, as I still don't know how this is happening or what any of them see in me. __________________ Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants. I come before you, to stand before you, to tell you a story I know nothing about. One bright morning in the middle of the night two dead fellows stood up to fight. They stood back to back, facing each other, drew their swords and shot each other. If you don't believe my lie, it's true, ask the blind lady on the corner, she saw it too. Last edited by BearsysRevenge; 06-30-2008 at 11:12 AM.

06-30-2008, 11:13 AM	#2 (permalink)
verklingen what is Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: the foundation of heaven on earth Posts: 5,364 Thanks: 135 Thanked 392 Times in 223 Posts	i think you're good man. if you had been the one to put it on hold and leave her hanging it'd be a pretty dickish move to get it on with another girl. but with the tables turned, what can she expect after a month? but that's just me man. anything i can say pales in comparison to your feelings on the matter. don't do anything that will trouble you. __________________ you can't explain the rules of tennis to a dog, but he runs after it and plays with it...like the dog playing with the ball, we don't have the necessary tools needed to interpret the afterlife..until we get there, then a whole new universe is given to us. Perhaps 200 billion light years away, there's the next phase of our existance..Remember you cannot destroy energy, which is all we are... -matthew munari rip matt

06-30-2008, 11:36 AM	#3 (permalink)
№1 Better than you. Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: out there Posts: 8,841 Thanks: 24 Thanked 83 Times in 64 Posts	A. Girl 1 is done with you, move on. B. Girl 2 is looking for some Bearsy wang, don't hesitate or you may be lost. C. Girl 3 is looking to play some field as well, jump on it while you still can. Enjoy! __________________ "You can't play in the middle of the road if you've never seen the far curb..." Doug Stanhope --------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------- Hell

06-30-2008, 12:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
Captain Cannabis 3õ Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: trapped in a computer Posts: 9,972 Thanks: 241 Thanked 197 Times in 129 Posts	i also never cheat in relationships. i would say go for it and make sure that girl #1 knows its over. it may be already implied at this point but it will be a load off your mind before hooking up with anyone else. __________________ fuck the monkeys

06-30-2008, 04:39 PM	#8 (permalink)
WildWill Go Medical! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Beverly Hills Adjacent Posts: 269 Thanks: 45 Thanked 36 Times in 31 Posts	You're no longer in a relationship with girl #1 - so it's no longer cheating. GO for it. __________________ Custom Volcano Bags http://www.geocities.com/wmnoe/volcanobags.html

06-30-2008, 12:54 PM	#7 (permalink)
Smaerd observations kill me Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Vagrant Status Posts: 1,314 Thanks: 139 Thanked 196 Times in 138 Posts	Yeah never cheat dude. Though your relationship is over, even if you still have feelings for her(obviously you do because you care about her). My coz once dated a chick for a weekend and they never talked since so technicly they are still dating. But the "dating" terms don't mean anything in terms of two peoples connection to each other, you know. You can be dating someone you despise(in the moment), and have a best friend of a gender you date in that could treat you way better romanticly then the one your "dating". Canuck I agree attention is what I think people want in a relationship you know. I also look for like compliments to my personality, and the eprson in the relationship I'm with better be learning something from me as much as I am learning from them, otherwise it just feels like your partner is just a trophy or something...

06-30-2008, 04:48 PM	#9 (permalink)
BearsysRevenge Adminfiltrator Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: I've got BuffaLOVE Posts: 4,518 Thanks: 620 Thanked 146 Times in 107 Posts	Ugh, she just fucking e-mailed me, apparently one of the few irl friends that I talked with about this got real mad at her and yelled at her and told her about how I was feeling... he didn't know I plan on breaking up with her, but shit. "Blah blah blah... I still love you, I thought you understand" This just got a bit harder, but it's still happening. __________________ Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants. I come before you, to stand before you, to tell you a story I know nothing about. One bright morning in the middle of the night two dead fellows stood up to fight. They stood back to back, facing each other, drew their swords and shot each other. If you don't believe my lie, it's true, ask the blind lady on the corner, she saw it too.

06-30-2008, 05:12 PM	#11 (permalink)
Smaerd observations kill me Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Vagrant Status Posts: 1,314 Thanks: 139 Thanked 196 Times in 138 Posts	Generally what I find in all social problems is, sit them down and discuss your ideals and passions and feelings. If they won't hear them or they fly over their head, then they are not the right person for you... Deemable to stay in your life sure, though deemable to be an active role in your life, never.

07-01-2008, 08:46 PM	#12 (permalink)
Dezzy NiGGa BoY RoY Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,889 Thanks: 7 Thanked 25 Times in 20 Posts	girl 1 wants nothing to do with you. Do you not get that a "break" usually means your done to her. Im pretty sure if you havent made contact for a month she doesnt really want anything to do with you sorry bro. I cant tell if your serious bearsy your alot smarted then to think girl 1 still wants you. You need to hook up with 2 and forget about 1 it will only make you realize. Good Luck __________________ "You want to have sex with The Max" LOL

07-01-2008, 11:29 PM	#14 (permalink)
BearsysRevenge Adminfiltrator Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: I've got BuffaLOVE Posts: 4,518 Thanks: 620 Thanked 146 Times in 107 Posts	Fuck It. I think I'm gonna go completely gay for a while. Not like that's gonna work out any better. Why the fuck do girls enjoy leading me on? Fuck it Fuck it fuck it. __________________ Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants. I come before you, to stand before you, to tell you a story I know nothing about. One bright morning in the middle of the night two dead fellows stood up to fight. They stood back to back, facing each other, drew their swords and shot each other. If you don't believe my lie, it's true, ask the blind lady on the corner, she saw it too. Last edited by BearsysRevenge; 07-01-2008 at 11:35 PM.

07-02-2008, 12:23 PM	#16 (permalink)
anitablaze we r the naked ones Join Date: May 2008 Location: buttfuck nowhere Posts: 133 Blog Entries: 8 Thanks: 11 Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts	BR, things were over w/ you and girl#1 the minute she said she needed a break. __________________ BOMBING for PEACE is like FUCKING for VIRGINITY "I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent"- Mohandas K. Gandhi Look at what it's doing to you; but that's okay, look at how it feels.

07-03-2008, 02:36 PM	#18 (permalink)
gweetar YaHookan Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 281 Thanks: 49 Thanked 42 Times in 34 Posts	If you have any feelings left for this girl, at all, I understand why you are having difficulties with this situation. If you dont - MOVE ON! Like everyone here said, she moved on, made it quite obvious. Heck, move on anyway, even if you do have feelings. This just isn't worth it. You move on too. I guess you could go "completely gay" for a while, but why not stay straight and enjoy girl 2, or girl 3, or girl 4, or any other girl but this one?? People say, "I hate games!" "I don't want any games or game-players", etc. etc. All the while, continually rolling the dice, continually picking up the next card, continually subverting the rules, continually keeping their hands in, and playing as many games as possible. And, usually proving they are the best player at the table.

07-03-2008, 04:04 PM	#19 (permalink)
tj monkey TJ Monkey FOO!! &nb