No Sexual Attraction

[The SARS Volta]

So basically you fucked him and now he's just being a clingy SOB? It doesn't sound like an unrealistic scenario.

Do you still want to be friends with this dude? You haven't told us about the qualities you like in him and there are clearly a lot of things that you don't like about him. This gives me the idea you're just having trouble getting a guy you don't like.

It's not too late to terminate a relationship altogether like this because it's a relationship you chose to be in as apposed to a relationship you're obligated to be in (like family). It also sounds like you haven't known him for too long.

I've known him 5 months, so not especially long. I hooked up with him after 2 months of knowing him. I will base whether it's a good idea to even be friends from his response to me declining the benefits.

He's a nice guy with a good heart, very loyal and supportive to friends--just a bit dense with irritating qualities. These qualities eventually made themselves obvious and sometimes problematic.

All of our friends have attributes that are negative and positive, which may make you want to spend less or more time around them.

[The SARS Volta]

he sounds like a spoiled, immature, douche.

why do u even bother to hang out with him?

are you the type of person that cant say "no" to people?

Not at all, I am assertive and speak up, but he doesn't get hints.

[CowMan]

still SARS, you should of known better. Obviously this whole scenario of him beating up his car over a girl was common knowledge among people before you bumped uglies. As was the fact that he's mooching off his folks. And if it wasn't told to you, a little background searching on the guys you're going to bone or even going to associate with wouldn't go astray.

Sure being drunk can alter judgment, but obviously something attracted you to him in the first place. You put yourself in the position to be drunk with him in a spot that you could fuck. Using 'oh i was drunk' excuses is total bullshit when you're still making obvious, sober choices that lead to said incident.

You should just face up to being responsible for putting yourself in this situation that you're in now and learn from your mistakes. Sure cutting back on booze can't hurt and I'm glad you've taken at least that lesson from this experience but there's clearly more you can learn here.

It was your mistake after all and now you've got yourself stressed out and will probably put this apparently sensitive, nice guy under emotional strain as well. A little discretion in choosing your environment and who you decide to surround yourself with could go a long way in making your life easier and more enjoyable.

I'm really not trying to be an asshole here, I'm simply speaking from experience. Making clear intelligent choices in who you associate with, drink with and ultimately fuck with will make your life better.

[CowMan]

In the meantime, don't skate around the issue with him. Be straight up! don't be insensitive but be very clear with him. You seem like you are a mature enough person to handle this while being straight up and he will appreciate that. Maybe not initially, but certainly in the long run.

[SpankyMcLankey]

I did take time to get to know him, I believe he was selective about what information he decided to make available about himself before anything sexual happened.

It's not just him, all guys do this to a certain degree.

Jesus Cowman, you should start your own TV show with dating advice.

[my_scatterheart]

Not a gender specific thing. It's a natural tendency to have insecurities about your flaws and desire to hide them.

[№1]

You have two choices, either marry him and live happily ever after...

-Or-

Cut and run, chalk it up to experience and never look back. You keep saying you took the time to get to know him, or at least what he wanted to show you so really you know his real style now and you dont like it so why bother to even keep him around as a friend?

He sounds like a toxic person and no good is going to come from it so really, I suggest you just give up on any kind of contact and realize you dodged a bullet.

Is there any way to tell him I'm not attracted to him without causing a shit storm?

In a word, nope...


I bet he didn't even get your rocks off.

[№1]

In the meantime, don't skate around the issue with him. Be straight up! don't be insensitive but be very clear with him. You seem like you are a mature enough person to handle this while being straight up and he will appreciate that. Maybe not initially, but certainly in the long run.

Nahhh...
I'd say tell him he has a little weenie and he doesn't ring your bell.


Tell him to come back around when he can pound a railroad spike through a 4X8 with his penis.

[The SARS Volta]

Cut and run, chalk it up to experience and never look back. You keep saying you took the time to get to know him, or at least what he wanted to show you so really you know his real style now and you dont like it so why bother to even keep him around as a friend?
He sounds like a toxic person and no good is going to come from it so really, I suggest you just give up on any kind of contact and realize you dodged a bullet.
In a word, nope...
I bet he didn't even get your rocks off.

Most real answer. Wisdom ftw.

[herbinator45]

racism's a big deal breaker for me. it's like the penultimate of judgementalism, so after hearing the rest of that shit it wasn't surprinsing at all. i don't get how a racist could have a good heart though, hahaha. anyway, if dude's a racist piece of shit, why worry about what he thinks if you tell him there's nothing there and you just want to be friends?

if he doesn't get that you're not interested after not getting any play from you for a while and thinks he can get some whenever he wants he's clearly mistaken and you need to set him straight.

[Silverleaf]

i agree with the above sentiment.

sounds to me like buddyroo is about due for the friend talk, and while it's unfortunate that you're the one that'll have to prepare and deliver the lecture, maybe you'll be lucky and he won't fly off the handle like he did to his car. and i mean, that's his car.

i don't have the time of day for spoiled punks like the kid i'm getting a picture of in this here thread -- the sooner they become less ignorant to their ignorance, the better. you might think of your redefinition of the boundaries of your relationship with this kid as a contribution to society. that or he'll still be just as big an asshole, depends on how much he values your opinion as a friend, i guess.

sooooo what i'm tryin to say here is that it's a crap shoot. best of luck to ya, whatever you decide to do.

[Mikey]

racism's a big deal breaker for me. it's like the penultimate of judgementalism, so after hearing the rest of that shit it wasn't surprinsing at all. i don't get how a racist could have a good heart though, hahaha. anyway, if dude's a racist piece of shit, why worry about what he thinks if you tell him there's nothing there and you just want to be friends?

if he doesn't get that you're not interested after not getting any play from you for a while and thinks he can get some whenever he wants he's clearly mistaken and you need to set him straight.

i know i used to know this one girl and we'd be all hanging out and id be all like lets go here or there and shes all like i dont wanna go cause so and so are gonna be there (black-muslim not white ppl) and i was like wtf. i have to rearrange living my life cause of the color of ppl's skin and where they are? fuck u bitch call the cops. im outta here.

fuck.
for real.

[The SARS Volta]

racism's a big deal breaker for me. it's like the penultimate of judgementalism, so after hearing the rest of that shit it wasn't surprinsing at all. i don't get how a racist could have a good heart though, hahaha. anyway, if dude's a racist piece of shit, why worry about what he thinks if you tell him there's nothing there and you just want to be friends?

if he doesn't get that you're not interested after not getting any play from you for a while and thinks he can get some whenever he wants he's clearly mistaken and you need to set him straight.

True, but like I said, ignorance and upbringing--his parents are neo-cons and racially-biased themselves, which at my age gives nobody a legitimate excuse to be elitist over something like that. I have a huge problem with the prejudice myself.

Right, mistake--obviously. Gotta make errors to know better however this is a first for me in severity of things WAY wrong with the dude.

[kamikazi89]

he'll talk about it for months..and believe what he wants
so if you don't want him thinking he can still fuck you
tell him why

p.s.
does he smoke the herb?
if not..move-on like kevin kilbride

[osirus2020]

Well, was the sex at least good?

[herbinator45]

True, but like I said, ignorance and upbringing--his parents are neo-cons and racially-biased themselves, which at my age gives nobody a legitimate excuse to be elitist over something like that. I have a huge problem with the prejudice myself.

Right, mistake--obviously. Gotta make errors to know better however this is a first for me in severity of things WAY wrong with the dude.

worrd. sounds like you already know it's ime to chalk it up as a learning experience and move on. maybe something will happen and he'll grow into a different person, you never know.

[The SARS Volta]

Well, was the sex at least good?

No. Not to say it was terrible, but those who are lazy in the sack generally amount to lousy performance, and my memory of the event is altered because alcohol in excess was a factor. Either way, I'm sexually repulsed by dude now.

[Mikey]

look at it this way
maybe this was your gateway to lesbianhood

[flappy]

look at it this way
maybe this was your gateway to lesbianhood

I agree with Mikey. Maybe it's time to experiment and send us pictures.

[Jonas]

to me it sounds like this dude isnt even worth your time, let alone a thread on yahooka.

he's a bad fish that should be put back in the sea - so to speak.