My left nut
Posted 05-22-2008 at 01:24 PM by Seeds&Stems
Dear yahooka ,
my left nut itches. I scratched it nearly until it bled and still it persists. I took out my trusted lady bic, lathered muh balls up good, and proceeded to shave every hair off that bitch.
After I shaved it, I applied a thick coat of aftershave, which burned but in a good way. To prevent chaffing I wrapped my balls in cellophane and put on three pairs of boxers to be safe.
Now I went to work yesterday hoping to get through the entire evening itch-free. NOT SO! As soon as I started working (I work at the Unemployment office trying to help people find jobs and fill out paperwork) they started itching. Small at first but as I tried to ignore it they began to throb . I excused myself from the gentleman I was helping to fill out an app to the Pickle factory and went to the restroom.
There I scratched for about ten minutes until I had ballskin under my nails. Still they itched! I looked around the room to find anything that would ease my pain and it was then I had my epiphany.
A hammer sat at the base of the sink. A plumber had been in there a few days before installing some new drywall. I picked up the hammer and itched with the claw side. It felt good, real good. But still they itched.
I sat on the floor and began to cry. With my vision blurred by pain and tears I lifted the hammer high above my head and brought it down on my scrote. The pain was intense, but I felt a sense of relief.
Part of the gonad had burst forth through the skin of my sac from the blow, so I vowed to finish the job.
I emerged from the bathroom several minutes later, pantless, scroteless, and itchless. The man who was filling out his app looked at me and gawked at my torn genitals. I smiled at him and asked, "So, who can we use as references?"
my left nut itches. I scratched it nearly until it bled and still it persists. I took out my trusted lady bic, lathered muh balls up good, and proceeded to shave every hair off that bitch.
After I shaved it, I applied a thick coat of aftershave, which burned but in a good way. To prevent chaffing I wrapped my balls in cellophane and put on three pairs of boxers to be safe.
Now I went to work yesterday hoping to get through the entire evening itch-free. NOT SO! As soon as I started working (I work at the Unemployment office trying to help people find jobs and fill out paperwork) they started itching. Small at first but as I tried to ignore it they began to throb . I excused myself from the gentleman I was helping to fill out an app to the Pickle factory and went to the restroom.
There I scratched for about ten minutes until I had ballskin under my nails. Still they itched! I looked around the room to find anything that would ease my pain and it was then I had my epiphany.
A hammer sat at the base of the sink. A plumber had been in there a few days before installing some new drywall. I picked up the hammer and itched with the claw side. It felt good, real good. But still they itched.
I sat on the floor and began to cry. With my vision blurred by pain and tears I lifted the hammer high above my head and brought it down on my scrote. The pain was intense, but I felt a sense of relief.
Part of the gonad had burst forth through the skin of my sac from the blow, so I vowed to finish the job.
I emerged from the bathroom several minutes later, pantless, scroteless, and itchless. The man who was filling out his app looked at me and gawked at my torn genitals. I smiled at him and asked, "So, who can we use as references?"
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AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. “Hey Ebony!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! “What’s up Draco?” I asked. “Nothing.” he said shyly. But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! |
 
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AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun. My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.) “OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!” she said excitedly. “Yeah? So?” I said, blushing. “Do you like Draco?” she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall. “No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted. “Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me. “Hi.” he said. “Hi.” I replied flirtily. “Guess what.” he said. “What?” I asked. “Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade.” he told me. “Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR. “Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked. I gasped. |
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AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don’t own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert. I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!). “Hi Draco!” I said in a depressed voice. “Hi Ebony.” he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte. “You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life.” sang Joel (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song). “Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice. Suddenly Draco looked sad. “What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on. “Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said. “Really?” asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective. “Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face. The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Forbidden Forest! |
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there are SOOOO many things i would do to you...
weird things... butt things.  |
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Recent Blog Entries by Seeds&Stems
- My left nut (05-22-2008)
- This must be what the FUTURE looks like. (12-01-2007)
