Once you’ve made your own home baked Mac you’ll never do store bought
again. The key to this recipe is using the freshest ingredients you
have that meet your particular taste. If you’re a vegetarian you’ll love
this recipe even without the ham (some vegetarians can consume dairy).
If you’d prefer to use bacon or even ground beef instead of ham, go for
it!
You want it spicier? Kick it up with diced fresh chilies. This recipe
comes with three guarantees:
1) You’ll love it
2) You’ll gain weight (lot’s of us patients need that
3) You’ll probably require anti-cholesterol meds if you eat this too often.
Ingredients:
8 tablespoons of Better Bud Butter
4 tablespoons of flour
2 cups of regular milk
1 cup of heavy cream
8 ounces of aged cheddar cheese grated (white or yellow)
12 oz of good macaroni noodles (you can use penne if you’re snobby)
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon cracked black pepper-to taste
1 tablespoon Jay’s Essence or cayenne pepper- to taste
8 oz of fined diced smoked ham (real Black Forest if you can find it)
Optional: 2 medium sized Jalapeno chilies finely diced
Optional: ˝ cup finely diced Maui onions
Optional: 1/3 cup of fresh bread crumbs
Directions:
Cook the pasta of your choice in lightly salted boiling water. We use
fresh pasta so 4 minutes is more than enough. If you use dry try 8
minutes. The key is Al Dente (that means “to the teeth”). Actually, I
went to school with Al and have never forgotten him. A handy trick is
to add a cap full of olive oil to the water to prevent sticking. Cook
the pasta then drain and set aside.
Slowly melt the Better Bud Butter over a low heat. Gradually work in
the flour with LOTS of stirring (yes you’re making a rue). Whisk in the
milk and bring to a slow boil then turn off the heat. Add the spices and mix
in the finely grated cheese (yes, you’re now making a Béchamel sauce).
As the cheese melts (it will be very thick) slowly add just enough
cream for the texture you like. Mix in the diced smoked ham and chilies
and/or onions if you like.
Pour all of the ingredients into a large greased (we use Pam) baking
dish and sprinkle with bread crumbs if you like (we leave them out for
reasons explained below).
Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for about 20-35 minutes or until
brown and bubbly.
Hint Number One: Let the dish sit out for at least ten minutes before
you try to plate it. This stuff is hot, hot, and hot.
Hint Number Two: Mac Attack Two (otherwise known as Maximum Mac)
Assuming you and your friends don’t finish the entire casserole on the
first evening, cover the leftovers and place in the refrigerator for 24
hours. The next night cut out rectangles of Mac Attack and dust with
flour, roll in an egg wash, roll in fresh crumbs, and yes, oh my God,
deep fry at 350 degrees. Yum! This dish is not for cardiac amateurs.
Keep your nitro handy.
Recommended beverage: Any good Oregon Pinot Noir lightly chilled.....
Caution: Do not operate heavy machinery or attempt surgery after eating.
Don’t drive after two helpings.
Fuck the Monkeys 
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