Change of plans

[Smaerd]

So I was kind of planning on doing nothing with my life for a little while. Then moms calls me up and tells me an old neighbor of hers has a job opening for me. I'm sure there'll be a urine test involved because I'm going to have to go through an agency to get it for some reason.

I smoke about a quarter a day of regs or a eighter of high grade and recently went on a seven day pot food binge were all I ate for a week was food with the good stuff in it...(it was for an experiment involving telekinetic phenomenon)
I weigh 150 pounds and am six foot.

I've got anywere between 5 to 30 days to get this done, in general how fucked am I haha?

lots of cranberry juice and stuff I know, I might even do a nice blood alchohol rinse. I know alcohols as a polar solvent loosens thc, but would it loosen it from fat cells if I just got really wasted and let it cycle through my blood?

anyone know any good detox products? There's a lot of bull on the market.

or if I stuck a bag of piss in my armpit or something would it stay warm enough to have the temperature levels I need??