im going to sub my piss the right time this time! help!

[twotonguesyes2]

well you know what im goin to type... tell me the way to get my piss in there safe and sound. and how to keep it warm . all the good shit
PLEASE

[Mydriasis]

Well let's talk hypothetically here for a second. Cuz I'd never tell someone how to evade the law.

If someone where to in a dream substitute their urine for a urine analysis there are a few ways.

1. Get some sort of device such as a Whizzinator.

2. Even in a dream I wouldn't try this one on an observed test.

Get a non-lubricated condom, a funnel, a jar, some gloves, some tape, a shaved "gooch", a safety pin, and a mitten.

Now this person would, in a dream, have a clean friend pee in a jar for you.

Then put on some gloves(to keep your hands clean incase of spillage)

pour the pee into the non-lubricated condom through the funnel OVER a toilet.

Tie the condom off as best as you can, make sure non of it is leaking, but don't fling it around or something

a.PLEASE shave your "gooch"/"taint" or your inner thigh. Tape the condom down to the area shaved. Make sure wherever you put it you can kind of squeeze your legs together and keep it really warm. For girls I hear the armpit and a baggy t-shirt works but I don't have any real insight on this. A little flexing and nervous energy always helps the cause.

b. shave the same region put the condom in a thin 99 cent mitten with those hand warmers that you can buy and tape it down. The ones that you crack and they get hot real fast to warm your hands in the winter.

If you have a thermometer try testing to see how warm you can get it.

Tuck the safety pin on the inside of your pants where the belt-loop is.

a.Arrive to the testing place early while in the parking lot heat it up as best you can. Try filling out any paper work you might have to while sitting down. Now when you get to the bathroom remember this is your last shot to get it as warm as you can. So make sure you incubate it as much as possible.

b. Crack the hand warmers and get it hot.

Remove the pin from your pant seem and pop the condom in a MANAGABLE way as to spray the pee into the cup. Hurry your way to the testers so it doesn't lose any heat in-case you didn't get it quite hot enough.

Hopefully it worked out, cuz then you'd be having a good dream, otherwise it can be a nightmare.